[Jan 1, 1841 Page 1]
Ioway Mission
January 1st 1841
This is the first time in my journal which I
have written 41 And perhaps before that date shall [scace] my fingers may
be stiffend by the chill wind of death. One thing is clear I am a year
[nearer] my [XXXXX] than when I commenced to write 1840? How solemn should
I feel on this occassion. The year past I have been wonderfully favoured
with health and favours. And I ought to have made great advances towards
the kingdom of Glory. But I have but two much reason to fear that little or
no needful [preparation] has Been found But upon this, the new years
address which is prefixed to this volum will now fully express my fear and
resolutions - To see how the issue of my life will meet what what I now
expect should
[Jan 2, 1841 Page 2]
I be spared
through this year I have thought good to write my prospects. I am now
siting in the west room of my house [where] I hope if spared to be on next
new years day. I hope to be emploid all the year in study and teaching
without interruption. But what a year may bring forth the Lord only knows
This day was spent in study writing and [XXXXX] meeting at W. [Hamilton]. I
wrote a letter this evening to W. [Hannen] - Morning beautiful, cool &
clear at 10 cloudy and a little snow. Wind arose very high [XXXXX] clear
and about four wind subsided. Fine evening about 7 wind arose. Clear, not
severely for this time of year.
Saturday 2nd.
Assisted W. Hamilton in [sealing] his kitchen or Cuchenes room fine
clear cold day.
[Jan. 3, 1841 Page 3]
Sabath 3rd
Meeting & monthly consort at W. Hamilton. W. H. made a number
of appropriate remarks on the ocasion, and I felt greatly my unworthiness.
Day clear but could
Mondy 4th.
Studied and wrote out
a plan for our Boarding School to send to the Board of missions. In the
afternoon I was wonderfully afflicted by finding out that our little Indian
girl had told a false hood. I donot know when a thing struck me so deeply.
I talked to her and she [storied] [strong] [signs] of penatences. I
[strove] to take the case to the throne of God Oh that the Lord would work
in to for his own gloy in her salvation. Day could beautfuly clear.
[Jan 5, 1841 Page 4]
Tusday 5
Oh! But I am a
poor miserable drowsy mortal. Disposed to sleep while my immortal interests
are all at stake. I am wonderful [XXXXX] I fear am not learning. This
evening I was condemned in reading a sermon which I had written some years
ago. I Believe that it is as good as I can write now and my journal some
time ago shows more of a spirit of devotion than at present. Although my
oppertunitis for improvement and groth in spiritual things are shurely much
better than formerly. If I am becomeing more sensible of my situation I
would take courage and thank god to deepen it
[Jan 6, 1841 Page
5]
and make me [grow] on to perfection. Spent the day in
hauling wood and working for W. Hamilton. In the evening I wrote some
Day, more moderate but heavy clouds and looks like rain or snow.
Wedensday 6
Spent the day in writing and study My
mind was strongly inclined to Expt. 4 5 & 7 I spent nearly all the day
in reading writing and thinking on this subject. I fear that I am careful
for two much. My thoughts are two much consearned about worldly things for
me to grow in grace. and knowledge and christian experience & love. In
the evening we meet at W. Hamiltons for prayer. I think I was edified by a
consideration of the subject of the day
-Cool dry & clear
[Jan 7, 1841 Page 5a]
Thusday 7th.
Today
W. Hamilton and I went to hold a council with the Sacks in relation to W.
[Beaclly] going among them as teacher, but they utterly refused having
anything to do with white men [by way] of receving [for] them instruction
[They] new how to worship and talk to God themselves and did not wish to
know anything more. What a pity to [see] more them [XXXXX] souls refuse to
come to the light. Day clear and dry could last night much frost fell.
Tuday 8th Spent the day in hauling wood and preparing lettres to
send to the office. I am another day [nearer] the grave and I another day
[nearer] heaven. am I growing in grace and [knowledg] and soundness of
mind. I hope I see more of my weakness
[Jan 9, 1841 Page 6]
and insufficiency. [may] I see men and [XXXXX]' untill I feal all
my insufficeing in God But it has struck 10 I must [return] my [XXXXX]
Lord shield me through the defenceless hours of my sleep. - Cloudy and cool
all day. Morning white frost.
Saturday 9th.
Spent all
the day in preparing communications to send to the Post Office particularly
one of a number of sheets to the Board of Missions. It is expected that we
[have an opportuny of sending] to the office next week. Day could
Sabath 10th.
Today meeting at W. Hamiltons a sermon was in
four papers selection of great importance. In the evening I have not for a
long time had so much composure of mind, I think I could look upon the
world with something like its due value [XXXXX] [XXXXX] to look at the
narrow limits of its [XXXXX] and find great comfort in
[Jan 11,
1841 Page 8]
trusting in God He is all sufficient and all
important. Oh, that this disposition & feeling of mind may increase for
under it I feal more than earth can give and when given Earth cannot take
away - Day fine some cloudy but dry and not severely cold
Mondy 11
Was obliged to work for W Hamilton he found a man to
go to Liberty and I was really to work in his place the day was comp[XXX]
in working at a bench of some respecta[XXXX] to set in his house
Tuseby 12
One half of the day I spent in making &
finishing Mr Hamiltons bench which I commenced yesterday. In the afternoon
I hung up my Beef to dry fine day
Wedensday 13th.
Went to visit the Indians particularly the first Chef and from him
[Jan 11, 1841 Page 9]
I found a warm Reception. I was
well treated to a cup of tea and some wheat Bread baked in english stile
when I was about starting home one of the principle chiefs come from the
Ohio side of the Rise and he brought one Bottle of whisky. It is a
wonderful pitty to see these poor Indians so inclined to drink this vile
pollution to their own distruction. Meeting at Mr Hamiltons in the evening
I had some freedom. In [prayer] and the devil tempted me about it. On
yesterday we were told that one of the men who was killd by the whites had
been dug up and eaten by wolves. The poor Indians was so alarmed and
anxious to be off that they would share the same fate that they did not
take time to bury them as they ought.
Day moderate but cloudy
[Jan 14, 1841 Page 10]
Thursday 14 Half of the day I
sat and studied, and afternoon I aided Mr. Hamilton in lineing his house In
the evening Mr. Ballard came to see us from the Platt country. The day was
moderate and cloudy.
Friday 15.
Went with Mr. Ballard
to see the Indians. Found them all [solem] and we ware made very welcome.
In the evening Mr. [XXXXX] arived from Liberty and brought a quantity of
letters & offers &c. which was gladly Recd. We ware not a little
thankful to here that our friends ware well and my parents have it in
contemplation to visit us. The day was cool some snow fell all day &
night severly could.
[Jan 16, 1841 Page 11]
Saturday
16
Red news and fixed a pair of Buckskin [Pants] - The day is so
severly could that it is almost impossible to be out of the house and even
when in the fire seems to have lost its power
Sunday 17th
Meeting at Mr. Hamiltons He preached from these words `` prepare to
meet your God.'' The day was moste severely could. At our morning meeting
we ware very uncomfortable.
Monday 18th
Hauld some
wood and made some at a pair of BuckSkin Pantelloons Spent some time in
reading the Oberlin Evangelist. and conversing with Mr. Hamilton some on
the contents of it. Day more moderate, and wind south.
[Jan 19,
1841 Page 12]
Tusday 19th.
Engaged moste part of the
day in making Brooms, and the ressidue red and studied. I have much
thinking and writing to do but it seems to go but slowly. Day pleasant.
Appears like snow.
Wedensday 20
Spent the day in hard
study so much that I feal at the present very unfit to write. I have been
reading and trying to study the bible of the [Lord] It is a wonderful
treasure the more we look into it the more we see Day cloudy &
moderater
Thursday 21st.
Spent the day in study and
reading. The subject of Christs exaltation emploid my time ``Wherefore God
hath highly exalted him and given
[Jan 22, 1841 Page 13]
him a name that is above every name'' that At the name of Jesus
every [XXXXX] should learn and every tongue confess.''
The
exaltation of Christ seems to be manifast in the Scriptures particularly in
his resurrection ascension ascession and comeing the second time to
judgment But Oh how feble is our imaginations and conceptions on this
subject. But I would hope for a time when I shall know these things on
greater perfection But Oh how sinful how low. Low earthly. Day moste
Beautiful clear & moderate.
Friday 22
Continued
studying on the same subject and in the evening was favoured with the
company of Mr. Hamilton a while. Day moste fine The contrast between the
weather here & that of Pa. is wonderful The beauty and moderation of
these days pass discription
[Jan 23, 1841 Page 14]
Saturday
23rd
Spent part of the day in study made
some homony and spent some hours very agreeably in company with Mr.
Hamilton. In the morning I had the misfortune to bruise very badly one of
my fingers which was very [panful] through the day. In the evening I was
taken with daeroha and was quite ill It is good for me thus to feel I am
sought thus to see my mortality I am poor and tottering on the brink of the
grave, and soon must fall. Another week is pased and I am comeing
[nearder] and [nearder] to my desolution for which God grant that I may
[leave] prepared.
Sabath 24
At 2 oclock we meet at
Mr. Hamiltons for meeting. It was
[Jan 25, 1841 Page 15]
my lot to read a Sermon and make some Remarks I red on of Burdens
on Wholiness with which no man Shall see the [XXXXX]. I was trying to find
out wheather I was now better prepared for pointing [XXXXX] men the way to
heaven than I was 3 years ago I [fear] that I am not. Hence I have not
traveled much in the way of Wholines I could give directions to those who
wished In the same ways. Whose poor and miserable I am I pray for a
reviving from the [Lord] Beautiful day
Monday 25th.
Spent the day mainly in reading and study. In the evening took some
potatoes out of the hole and was sorry to find them not a little frosen
After night we meet at Mr. Hamiltons to prey for
[Jan 26, 1841
Page 16]
the oppresed each of us made some remarks on the
occasion and by trying to view a little then condition, and immagineing our
selves to be in the condition I hope we ware enable to feal in some good
degree for their condition. We should feal for them as though we was found
with them. Poor slaves when shall they be liberated and when shall we be
more fully free from the Bondage of Sin and death. fine
Tusday
26
A.M. Drew and hung up my meat to smoke and P.M. assisted Mr.
Hamilton in [XXXXX] at his house. Spent much of our time in interesting
conversation. Day moste fine clear & warm. The like I never saw. It
seems as though April was here.
[Jan 27, 1841 Page 17]
Wedensday 27th.
Assisted Mr. Hamilton in lineing one of his
rooms, and in the evening meet at his house for prayer. I was much
asshamed, and uncomefortable on account of some joking in which I had
thoughtlessly engaged during the day with Mr. Hamilton. Jesting though it
may seem to be innocent at the time yet is not convenient and has a
deadening affect upon the soul Day Beautiful warm & clear
Thursday 28th.
Got out some Stuff for a bed sted and spent
some time with Mr. H. in looking for the line between the Ioway and Sack
Indians. Pulld two teath fer Mrs. Irvin which paind her moste severely and
was not a little trying to me Day admirable warm clear & dry like what
we would expect in may.
[Jan 29, 1841 Page 18]
Friday 29th
Half of the day I assisted Mr. Hamilton at his
house, and afternoon aided about the house Mrs. Irvin being sick and unable
to do anything, and [nong] is unable to do all herself. We have been
wonderfully blesed with health, and I wouldnot utter a murmur. I myself
deserve affliction and of late I am fearing that the Lord has forsaken me
for I know that I deserve many chastisements But the Lord is indulgent Day
mostely fine
Saturday 30th
Hauled some wood and made
a wash Board. Another week is gone and what have I done? but little
something is recorded in the annals of [heaven.] Is it to my
[Jan 31, 1841 Page 19]
favour or the reverse? The latter I
fear. But Christ is my only hope O' that I may find in the end the
Pardoning mercy of God Day moste fine
Sabbath 31st.
As soon as I had returned from morning prayer meeting I was informed that
a young Indian had been in, and that he had brought word that a war party
had crosed the river and killed one white man. The party was headed by
Whitecloud the principle Chief. and the conduct of the party was
represented as being verry barbarous indeed We was at something of a loss
to decide of the truth of the statement. as Indians are not at all times to
be relied upon. It was said that the Indians dragged the man from his head.
and murdered him by shooting and tomahawk while the poor woman and
[Feb 1, 1841 Page 20]
and children screamed in all
directions. In the evening Jeffrey and Capt Jackson (the Agent) came in,
and the reports was somewhat contredicted. A man, had been shot two nights
previous but it was hoped that he would recover, and it was not determined
wheather it was done by white or red man. But we are led strongly to
suspect from statements of the Indians that it was Indians of our nation
and headed by our chief. We had at our room a comefortable meeting We all
seem to feal our shortcomeings and I hope that the Lord is about to review
his work in our hearth Day warm and fine.
Monday February
1st.
Mrs. Irvin being rather feble I assisted some in washing.
Studied some and arranged a discoarse which I have thought some of
extemporising upon before
[Feb 2, 1841 Page 21]
our
little society on next wedensday evening, on this matter I have some fears
and doubts. I know not what is best, and right I think if I knew the path
of duty I would go in it. Day fine warm & clear
Tusday 2
I am poor and hell deserveing I hope I have seen more than ordinary
of my vileness. & I hope it has had a good influence upon my mind.
towards my humiliation. Assisted some in washing and in P.M. Mr. Bradly and
I went out and measured off some ground designed for a pasture for myself.
Day fine but cool.
Wedensday 3rd.
Aided some in
preparing to build my pasture fences In the evening we meet at our
[Feb 6, 1841 Page 22]
house we took some liberty in speaking
on our experience and on the subject of religion and I hope we ware
mutually aided. We are beginning to meet with opposition and persecution
and I think it is a good symptom and from it would be much encouraged If
indeed it be fer [XXXXX] sake Day fine clear but could.
Saturday 6th
For the three last days past I have been so
busily engaged in making a Buckskin coat that I have not been able to
[XXXXX] and read but little. Today I finished a fine coat of skin which I
hope will be of much devise to me some may think it humiliating thus to be
clad, but. It is not more hum-
[Feb 6, 1841 Page 23]
ble than that of John. Perhaps the texture of Buckskin is not more course
that than of Camels hare Be that as it may I know it is much better than I
deserve. I am poor and vile I am not a little troubled with temptation when
will the tempter abandon his temptations to my foolish heart resist his
suggestions? Another week has ran its time and what has it done for me. I
have a new coat. But will this cost me [XXXXX] the great day and in death.
no! no! I think I am geting to see more and more of the values of the
[Soul] and a corresponding desire to have it safe in Christ. On Thursday
morning a Snow fell to the depths of about 3 inches and it turn could which
has continued [XXXXX] last night was the Eclipse
[Feb 7, 1841
Page 24]
Sabath 7th.
Meet. fer religious servise in
Mr. Hamiltons room. and our attention was mostely directed to the subject
of the heathen, as it was monthly consent. Today word come that an Indian
had been killed in a drunken revel in last night. Several witnesses came
through the day and the truth of the report was confirmed. The poor Indians
are falling one after another at an alarming rate and without soon arrest,
they must soon be exterminated. Nothing can arrest the fall but Divine
grace alone. Day clear and cool.
Monday 8th. Our little Boy was
ill and I was compeled to [nurce] while washing was done. In the evening I
made a kettle of homeny. Much temptation and wandering of mind far from God
and miserably wicked [feeling]
[Feb 9, 1841 Page 25]
not any better Oh I am poor and blind and deserveing of hell Day cloudy
& could
Tusdy 9
Went to visit the Indians at
their encampment. But having no interpreter I could only visit and talk as
I could was made quite welcome and fared well Day could cloudy & some
snow fell
Wedensday 10th.
Spent mostee of the time
in reading and reviewing some composition In the evening We meet at Mr.
Hamiltons for meeting. A number of french who have become connected with
the Indians and who are now in our region came to the meeting and gave good
attention and it is hoped that some consearn is felt for their souls. They
have some
[Feb 11, 1841 Page 26]
in understanding
fully our language yet some have such a knowledge of it as to understand
considerable and can communicate to the others. For my own part I felt
wonderful, unworthy of any favour at the home of God but when I feal weak
and small I feal best. Day clear and very could
Thusday
11th.
Visited the Indians and found a large portion of them
engaged in a sacred dance. found some ill, and several very [XXXXX] with
sore eyes. One man is nearly blind and a child totally so. This I could not
but look on as emblamatacle of their spiritual blindness. Was informed that
two lodges of perhaps 4 or 5 each of the upper Ioway vilage had been killed
by the Sioux. An express come to have me write a not to
[Feb
12, 1841 Page 27]
the Agent informing him of the fact.
Day clear but very could nights also severely could.
Friday
12th.
Choped and hauled some wood and red some In Dwight Day
more moderate and some cloudy
Saturday 13
I am
ashamed to begin to write. It is now Saturday night. Another week is pased
away and what have I now honestly to inscribe in my journal? nothing that
speaks well for my experiences or knowledge of my own heart. I can only
acknowledge my sins and shortcomeings and hope in the mercy of Christ. I
today haul and cut some wood and red some I am miserable poor blind &
naked cool & high west wing cloudy.
[Feb 14, 1841 Page
28]
Sabath 14th,
Meet at our usual time and place for
meeting and Mr. Bradly has his son Baptised. Mr. Hamiltons remarks ware
founded mainly on that subject, and ware quite appropriate. A number of
french who are now near to us came in and gave good attention. Some of them
seem to have some conscience for the souls and we hope may yet be heirs of
Jesus Christ. they are greatly under Catholick influence mostee of them
having be raised in this belief and usually those brought up in this belief
receive the doctrin, But these all seem to discard the thought
[Feb 15, 1841 Page 29]
of the priest having any power to
forgive sins. Day could but pleasant and mosteely clear
Monday
15.
Today I commenced to get out stuff to fill two of the wheels
of our wagon which are nearly falling down. [Hold] very searious thoughts
about my situation and manner of life and progress in divine things I
cannot come to any conclusion which is very favourable for poor me I am
very Bad indeed
Change in the weather day quite pleasant wind
from the south.
Tusday 16th
Continued working at the
wagon all day hard. In the evening Mr. Gillman from the Platt country came
to visit us and we [XXXXX]
[Feb 17, 1841 Page 30]
not
a little gratified, -- Day verry fine warm and wind from the south
Wedensday 17th.
Today finished my job of wagon makeing and in
the evening we put the two on with Mr. Gillmans assistence In the evening
met at Mr Hamiltons for meeting Day moste Beautiful and fine though the
morning was cool.
Thursday 18th.
Waited on Mr.
Gillman in the morning and afternoon went to the Ioway encampement to see
the Indians and particularly a young man who appears to be low with
consumption or something bearing the same marks. I gave him some medacine
[XXXXX] three others and gave some [eyes] medicine. They are wonderfully
[Feb 19, 1841 Page 31]
afflicted with sore eyes. It
seems to be a sort of distemper prevalent among them. Some eyes have been
lost entirely, and many others appear to be nearly exhausted verry fine
day
Friday 19th.
Morning spent in arranging some
fence building or a man in hauling rails. Mr. Bradly & Mr. Hamilton
& I spent nearly one half of the day in conversation about the state of
the mission and our own spiritual consearns. We took the liberty of frankly
telling each other what we suppose ware our moste prominent faults This was
done in a verry tender and affectionate manner :& I hope produced some
good Day exceedingly warm & pleasant.
[Feb 20, 1841 Page
32]
Saturday 20
Emploid mostely in takeing care of
some ashes, and assisting Mr. Bradly to fall a large stack of timber. I
have had many thoughts about the state of the mission and our mode of
operation among the Indians, and am strongly enclined to think that some
chang muste be made before we do much for the Indians. I have been strongly
induced to think that I ought to apply for licence to preach the gosple But
my unworthy ness and Ignerence is so great that I do not know not to say or
do I am [presed] with doubts and fears and dullness, and on all this time
is passing away with great rapidity. Another Saturdy night is come Day
moste beautiful and warm Heard [XXXXX]
[Feb 21, 1841 Page 33]
Sabath 21st Feb.
According to prevous arrangement, It
fell to me to make some remarks at our meeting, which I did from these
words of the prophet [XXXXX] ``[XXXXX] thy that feared the Lord spoke after
one to another'' &c. I was much embaresd from fear that I should do or
say something which would be out of my proper place as I have no licence to
preach, and thare is danger of such persons going two for in such an
undertakeing. I strove first to show the particular sort of fear spoken of
by the profit, and then that those who was influenced by [XXXXX] fear would
speak one to another.
[Feb 21, 1841 Page 34]
I think
I drew some encouragement from what I said and hope it was not lost
entirely to all who ware present. Mr. Hamilton also made some apt remarks
in regard to the parity of heart necessary to make conversation acceptable
to be recorded before God.
In the forenoon Mr. H. & I
[XXXXX] [XXXXX] went to see some Indians at the vilage who ware sick and
gave some medicine we talked some with, and prayed for the sick, as this
was all that we could do. The healthy of the nation all being engaged in or
attracted by a [greath] bear dancer which was being celebrated in the
vilage Day Beautiful warm & clear
[Feb 22, 1841 Page 35]
Monday 22nd.
Returned to the vilage again to see the
sick took some medacine Found some drunk, and a great thirst prevailing
among them generally for liquor. They seem to be growing worse and worse. I
cannot conjecture wherein it will end. Day wonderful fine and warm, went
to the vilage without a coat and such on the way
Tusday 23rd.
Worked moste of the day at a Bed stead which I commenced a
considerable time ago. Spent some of the day in pleasant conversation with
Mr. Hamilton, in which we enter with great freedom. About daylight this
morning [caramarrya]
[Feb 24, 1841 Page 36]
an old
friendly Indian come and brought us the news that the Otoes had lately an
outfall, and fight in which 8 was killd and two deadly wounded. The whole
Indians on the [frontier] seem to be going downward Day more cool &
high wind from north.
Wedensday 24th.
Went to the
vilage in company with two young men one of whom come to have me go and se
his wife who was sick. I [XXXXX] her and two others and visited a number of
sick. Found some of them mending though some are yet quite Iill. On my way
home I was taken with a severe pain in the head and was very unfit for
anything all evening. yet I had as
[Feb 25, 1841 Page 37]
much or more real comefort in meeting as is usual for me. I felt my
weakness and the necessity of relying on God for all needed aid temperal
& Spiritual
Day fine thawed some & cloudy.
Thusday 25th.
Wrought nearly all day at a beadstead, split
some Boards for Mr. Hamilton. Last night old Pumpkin came in and staid all
night this morning we had a long and satisfactory talk and he went off in a
good humour which is rather uncommon
Day cloudy and moderate
and appears like rain
Friday 26th.
Completed my bed
sted after so long a time and was not a little rejoiced at the fact. for it
has been
[Feb 27, 1841 Page 38]
tedious and
difficult. We here labour wonderfully under disadvantage of saw mill or
anything of the sort having to rake all our wood from the rough timber with
Broad axe and &c. But in answer to this it is not necessary according
to the fassion of our county that [XXXXX] be verry fine. All that we have
is much better than we deserve. The Lord is wonderful in his kindness.
healthe and comfort seems to be ours.
Day some little snow and
dandy all day appears like rain
Saturday 27th.
Emploid with Mr Rubeke. in making a Spout for the eve of my house with a
view mainly to secure rain water for washing as the water of our spring is
of a
[Feb 28, 1841 Page 39]
character not well
suited for this purpose It is wonderful how the weeks are passing by I am
becoming alarmed. Soon the short days of my pilgrimage will be wound up.
and is thare a reasonable prospect that my work for the other world will be
done. I fear that the week which is just past has done but little for my
preparation in this respect. Be this as it may some record of it is in
Heaven, and it is according to truths Or the real state of the case. May
this reflection quicken me in the discharge of my Duties. Day moste
beauiful clear and warm
Sabath 28
Went to the Indian
encampment to see the sick and minister as far as I could to their
necessities Found some of them mending, but all who ware able had gone to
White Cloud. The chefs had bought some goods from
[Mar 1, 1841
Page 40]
a trader and ware about to make a present of them to a
number of Otoes who have been down some time on a visit. No regard is paid
to the Sabath day. even by those who know much better. In the evening meet
at Mr. Bradlys
Mr . B. made some remarks and we ware favoured
with the company and prayers of Dr Davis who came to make us a visit. Day
fine but cloudy
Monday March 1st.
Waited a while on
Dr Davis and moste of the day spen in labour at a fenceing which I am about
[having] built to enclose some pasture. In the evening I had more than a
common view of my [faultz] and my attachment to the world, and saw that the
one can be strengthened only
[Mar 2, 1841 Page 41]
by
the power of the gosple and the other overcome by [XXXXX.] I pray God that
these thoughts may be encreased for from them I do derive much benefit. I
cannot write [Tel.] of 1841 any more solem thought. Day fine morn rains
from S. P.M. from N.
Tusday 2nd.
Emploid all day in
laying the first rail of my pasture fence laid one hundred roods and am
quite tired. I am affrade that I am giving two much attention to my secular
consearns, and not anough to my spiritual at al events thare is more danger
of neglecting the one than the other Day fine morning cool Day clear
Beautiful.
[Mar 3, 1841 Page 42]
Wedenesday 3rd.
A.M. hauld some stuff for my fense put up a trough at the eve of my
porch &c. P.M. Went to the vilage to see the sick found some better and
others taken sick, and some ware deserveing thus as a verry wholly day. One
man who was quite sick and thought that he ought to be [lited] refused to
have this done. [XXXXX] sundown or tomorrow stateing that it was sabath
with [them] and he could not have it done now.
I went to see the
principle chef who was quite sick and whos eyes ware verry sore. He has
been drunk for a long time and will loose his eyes soon if he does not
referome. This afternoon a light shower of rain fell. and Distant thunder
was heard. The first rain fer near four months
[Mar 4, 1841 Page
43]
Thursday 4th.
Wrought until noon at my fense and
afternoon, spent in the house in writing. wrote a letter to Rev. Messrs
[Simpson] & [Bushnel] on the subject of duty I have done this with much
[beseting] and I hope that is fer the best. I want to be [XXXXX] useful my
conscience will not let me [yet.] I must not be satisfied with what I have
already attained or have done I must go on to greater attainments and
duties and works. Day was dark & cloudy, and very high wind from the
N. E.
Friday 5
Finished laying the [werm] or first
rail of my fense. I have just completed the foundation of a fense 167 rods
long encloseing mostely praire Morn. Light rain frose as it fell Cloudy
& cool & [XXXXX] & clouds from east.
[Mar 6, 1841
Page 44]
Saturday 6
Spent the day in study &
writing lettris. Two Caws, a part of 80 who came to visit the Ioways came
to the station, one a fine looking young man who talks good english He told
us of a great victory they had a short time ago over the pawnees. He had
taken six scalps. They who was killd ware all woman and children, the men
ware absent after the Buffalo He told of cuting off the childrens noses and
throwing them into the water cuting their faces so that they would die
more intolerable than death itself He spoke of these dreadful cruelties
with great compasion or rather plasure The other day Rubeadeau, a french
trader told of Sarper another french trader with whom he was in
[Mar 7, 1841 Page 45]
company, that in a fight with the
indians he saw Sarper run up on a wounded Indian take his knife rip him
open when alive, tear out his heart, and [XXite] it with [fury] while it
was yet beating and smokeing with life. Morning some snow fell day
moderate but dark and cloudy wind from E.
Sabath 7th.
Mr. Hamilton and a young man (Battus Roy) who has come to interpret some,
went to the vilages and did not return until late. We had meeting in Mr.
Hamiltons house I feal wonderfully condemned that I have not something to
say that is more favourable on my own part of the exercises of this day. It
seems that I am
[Mar 8, 1841 Page 46]
growing more
& more could. & I fear it will grow more & more so until I
perish in my [regin] [destouse] from my God. Lord pity me, look on me, in
me.
Day Morning snow two inches deep partly clear but cool
& wind so high from W. that cut little [XXXXX] was done
Monday 8.
Commenced to split some clapboards for Mr. [Rulite]
& in the evening houpe and fixed a half Barrel fer a wash tub. Day dark
and heavy looks much like snow.
Tusday 9th.
Spent the
day in study & conversation with Mr. Hamilton In the evening I was
taken with a severe
[Mar 10, 1841 Page 47]
pain in my
head which prevented me after night from pursueing my studies The Lord
knows what is best, and I will submit without a murmur. Day [singular]
Snow commenced to fall sometime in last night and continued to fall all the
day without a single recess. In the evening the snow was several inches
deep and being verry wet it was so lit day warm and wind from N. E.
Wedensday 10.
Studied and went to the vilage with Mr.
Hamilton On last night an Indian died in the encampment. Another has gone
their long home and we have reason to fear without hope solem thought Day
fine sunshine from 11 oclock wind from South
[Mar 11, 1841 Page
48]
Thursday 11
Spent all the day in relaying and
cleansing my loft, being comprised of Clapboards, much dirt had
accumulated, and the job was far from being a desireable one. Mrs. Irvin
spent moste of the day at Mr. Hamiltons and in the evening we suped there
Day perfectly clear, and Thawed in the sun shine.
Friday
12th.
Split some Clapboards for Mr. Rubeti and in the evening
Jeffrey came to our house and I spent moste of the evening with him. Day
clear but cool.
Saturday 13
Continued to split
Boards and in the evening prepared some husks for a bed. Day clear &
more warm than some past. Wind from [W.]
[Mar 14, 1841 Page
49]
Sabath March 14
We all started to the vilage
this morning to have a meeting among the Indians. Jeffrey had promised to
be present to interpret. When we got to the encampment we found them all
engaged in a great feast and a clamer, in behalf of a great war party which
is in contemplation to be in the spring, in company with a number of other
nations against the soux. After this was over we got a number collected at
Waehomouyas. for religious servise, we each spoke to the company and
dismissed without anything interresting. In the evening meet at our house
for prayer. Mr. [Ducham] an old catholick priest man showed great signes of
penatence, wept nearly all the time of meeting, and was in deep consearn
but was unwillg to talk on the subject.
[Mar 15, 1841 Page
50]
In the evening I was quite unwell. Lay in bed moste of the
time and took some medacin later at night. Day fine cool wind north.
Mondy 15.
Ill from the effects of medicin last night.
Talked some with Mr. Ducham who was consearned on yesterday and today was
hauling rails for me. He was some unwilling to talk It it was evident that
he was under conviction. He saw much of his sinfulness and badness of heart
as he expressed, and [XXXXX] the [policy] of the catholick preasts. I trust
he will yet be seen in the redeemer. I spent moste of the day in my study.
A. M. Clear P.M. cloudy wind north, and cool.
Tusdy 16
Split some Boards aided Mr. Hamilton in butchering and wrote lettres. I
had two men assisting me [they] built fense at a fast rate
[Mar
17, 1841 Page 51]
put more than 150 rods in little over half the
day. I must be more drawn from the world if I would be with Christ I think
I am. I feal more the shortness and [frailty] of my days. though tody I
felt well [in tirely] Day moste fine & clear
Wedensday
17th.
Spent moste of the time in reading & study, and
finished splitting Boards for Mr. Rubeki 840 in all In the evening meeting
at our room considerable interest and feeling I trust the Spirit of the
Lord is dealing very [XXXXX] with us and warning us of our danger and
admonishing us to flee from the wrath which is to come. Morning clear soon
clouded up and from 9 to 11 a shower of could rain P.M. clear wind high
from the south often ran [XXXXX] warm
[Mar 18, 1841 Page 52]
Thursday 18th.
Emploid all day in working at a wagon bed
I am preparing to start to Liberty. which I will do the Lord willing soon
in next week. In the evening Mr Rubeki came from Liberty with some letters
& papers but no news of importance. Day exceedingly windy threw down
some fence to the ground removeing the blocks on which it stood.
Friday 19
Continued working at the wagon Bed and nearly
completed the job.
Day cloud. But warm
Saturday
20th.
Soon in the day sarted to the vilage. but found many of
the
[Mar 18, 1841 Page 53]
Indians verry drunk. It
was reported that all the Chefs ware drunk. It may be so All that I saw
ware, and many more ware. The Caws are seen now tradeing for Corn, and the
[XXXXX] articles of trade is whisky. it is ready sale. In the afternoon I
hauled some wood preparing to go to Liberty. Settle up with Mr. [Rubeki]
owe him near 10 dollars. This evening at worship we conducted reading the
bible in course, and had some intenesly reflections on the occasion. Had a
pleasant walk at dark, and solemn thoughts on the subject of death and
futurity. May God enable me to number my days so that I my apply my heart
unto wisdom Day quite warm some signs of vegetation first
[Mar
21, 1841 Page 54]
Sabath 21st.
In a low state of mind
intill after or at the close of meeting at Mr. Bradlys. I red in meeting a
letter of Rev. [Fetch] describing as much as possible the Love of Christ
which indeed paseth all knowledge I beleve that I have indeed be narrow
views of Christ. I have not any adequate senese of this great subject. I
must now and feal more of its power and reality. Rain commenced about one
oclock last night. and continued near all day
Monday 22
Spent the day in preparing to start to Liberty in the morning. but I am
now so unwell that I fear I will not be able to start. It may be that is
the last [entrance] I will ever
[Mar 23, 1841 Page 55]
make in my diary. I am fast on my journey home, and the last line in this
will be soon inscribed. But Oh that my worthless name may be writen in
Heaven. that I may be more filled with the love of Christ [XXXXX] I thought
of yesterday Cleared up & pleasant.
Tusday 23rd
According to expectation I started to liberty soon this morning in
company with Mr. Ducham (a hired hand) and am now seated writing in my
wagon more than 30 miles from home
Through all the day I have
been quite ill about noon I was so bad as to be strongly disposed to turn
back Pain in my head and stomack & bowels disordered. But the Lord is
wonderful kind and I am as wonderfully insensible I think I never saw
myself as dull and if it can be said actually dead.
[Mar 23,
1841 Page 56]
I have done nothing all my life. I have spent some
time this evening in reading in the life of [Payson] this evening. He
speaks of himself as being bad. but how much worse I. I know not what to
say. I have been neglecting everything. I hope my sickness will be a
blessing to me I have resolved to day I hope in the strength of the Lord
that If I am [spared] to reach my home again I will [profess] the
observation of a day of fasting & prayer in the family. Lord help me.
[And on the way as for as I may be enabled to [prosecute] my journey I will
try live as much as I can as be comes the profession I sustain. Many if not
all my Christian duties have been sorely neglected. Yet all things has been
clear on the part of God. The present is a token of his temporal kindness
[Mar 24, 1841 Page 57]
while thunder is rolling not
far off and no doubt heavy rain falling near us. we are dry and commodious,
and I can write and read without inconvenience except from my oposition.
[Did]
the rain which appears to be falling not far off extend to
us it is hard to imagine how uncomefortable it would make us. and more than
this I feal much more comefortable in health than I did some time ago. Day
favourably warm, but draw to rain at a distance after night with thunder
Wedensday 24
Arose soon this morning and prossecuted on
journey. I felt some better but sufferd much through the day, expected to
be unable to accomplish my journey [but] I hope my trust was in the Lord.
[Mar 25, 1841 Page 58]
About noon we reached
Levanworth where we crosed the Missouri with but little delay and made
about ten mile crossing the Platt, and stoped with Mr Hause an
acquaintence. Day pleasant
Thursday 25th.
This was a
day not a little anxiety. I expected to meet my father and mother at
Liberty whom I had not seen for a year, and who was to accompany me to the
station and spend some time with us. I think that I was two anxious. I
tried to resign it to the disposel of God but when I woul suppose that they
ware not thare I could hardly endure the thought. I went on trembelling and
hopeing
[Mar 26, 1841 Page 59]
fearing to enter the
town lest I should be disappointed. But before I got fairly into the town I
saw my father at considerable distance and knew him two well to be
mistaken. I found also my aged mother and all well, we had an affectionate
meeting [father] deeply [interested] spent the evening in enquirey about
provisions goods &c. Day warm and fine roads good
Friday
26
Wonderful buisy day in buying good and prepareing to start on
my way home wards tomorrow some rain very warm
Saturday
27th.
Had engaged a team which with my own loaded up
[Mar 28, 1841 Page 60]
as soon as we could and start on our
way home ward, we made about 20 miles to my friend Mr. Hause where we
stoped for the Sabath
this day we ware moste singularly
favoured in [XXXXX] to rain great appearance of rain in the morning but
kept off all day untill we got in the shelter when it commenced to rain
with thunder and lighting very heavy
Sabath 28
was
favoured with an opportunity of going to baptist meeting. the theme of
discussion was a through grace are you saved through faith and that
[Mar 29, 1841 Page 61]
not of yourselves it is the gift
of God.'' Spent moste of the remaining day in the woods alone. My mind was
wonderfully divided and distracted about my [XXXXX] much more inclined to
think of that than things of the Lord Miserable creature I am that after
all Gods kindness I would so behave Day fine but warm
Monday
29
went to westin a small town on the Missouri to buy a load of
flour &c. to take to the Station Showers of rain & snow and quite
chilly
Tusday 30
Started as soon as we could. At
Platt we ware detained in crossing and my
[Mar 31, 1841 Page
62]
patients was severely tried with my wagoners who ware much
disposed to idle times About 5 oclock we reached Missouri at Levanworth,
and got all the teams over by dark day cloudy but dry & favourable
Wedensday 31st.
As soon as it was convenient this
morning we ware on our way to Ioway. We travelled verry slow but ware quite
successful, having no misfortune, and often makeing about 20 miles we
stoped for the night at a beautiful small creek and found a very choise
place for camping. Day fine & night remarkably so fare &
beautiful
[Apr 1, 1841 Page 63]
Thursday April 1st.
1841
Started soon on our journey and all things considered was
quite prospered true we turned over once but with no material injury to any
of the frate. After making about 18 miles we encamped for the night by the
side of a beautiful rill which abundently supplied us with good water Day
very fine though some appearence of Rain
Friday 2.
Last night we lay about fourteen miles from home and our prospects ware
quite high for reaching home today. Elated with this expectation we started
soon after sun rise and about one Oclock reach the long
[Apr 3,
1841 Page 64]
looked for and much desired home I fear that our
desires ware not so burneing for our heavenly home as they have been for
our temporal. I hope that I was thankful to find all things well, when I
came near home my mind was filld with much frightful immaginations.
Fancying that many things ware in a bad condition But the Lord has always
outstriped my expectations. But I am yet unbelieving . and slow and dull to
learn
Day pleasant beyond expectation
Saturday
3rd.
Spent all the day in [XXXXX] and arrangeing the goods which
I had procured for our station while at Liberty. Day verry fine
[Apr 4, 1841 Page 65]
Sabath 4th.
Meeting in the
morning at our usual place and in the afternoon at our dwelling. Today Mr.
Hamilton and the rest of the males at the station except myself went to the
vilage and had a small meeting among the Indians. We labour under many
difficulties on account of an adaquate and faithful interpreter many of the
Indians came to the station mostely with a view to get some provisions as
they had understood that I had brought up a supply of provisions Day
fine
Monday 5th.
Spent nearly all the day in [XXXXX]
and puteing away the goods which I brought up from Liberty Last night some
rain Day fine
[Apr 6, 1841 Page 66]
Tusday 6th.
Went with Father to the Indian fields to assist him in commenceing
to plough for the Indians. He has engaged to farm for the Indians this
year, an to give them instruction in this department of manual labour while
it is my intention to try to give them mental information as far as I can.
I ought to be very comefortable and happy now I have now my aged father and
Mother with me, who are willing to do all do all that they can to make me
comefortable and aid in all the affairs of the family. I think that I now
will have much time for study and hope that I may be enabled to improve
every opportunity
Morning cool and wind from South day warm and
vegetabas comeing on
[Apr 7, 1841 Page 67]
Wedensday
7
Accompanied Father to the Ioway vilage and aided him some in
puting in some wheat for White Cloud Stoped some time with some of the
chiefs and found them I thought some of them more disposed than usual to
work and farm for themselves. They are all anxious to have work done but
are lazy about puteing two their own hands. Could they be induced to
industry I would have strong hopes of their soon becoming a respectable
people Day fine
Thursday 8
Was compld to stay at
home contrary to my wish to assist in rolling some logs on our corn field.
and after this plough some in the garden for early potatoes. I find my mind
very lazy
[Apr 9, 1841 Page 68]
about study. In fact
it seems that I can scarcely study at all. as soon as I get my mind as I
think composed and fixed it is away far off the mark farther than when I
first commenced to bring it to the mark I am poor, will & uncultivated.
fit not for refined society in this world and oh how unfit for the society
of Angels & heaven Day warm but appears like rain
Friday
9
After assisting to roll some logs I went to the vilage and to
the Chefs houses. At the vilage I found some drunk among whom was one of
the main chiefs of the nation. This is verry common. In fact the chefs are
as great drunkards as any in the Nation. After spending some time in the
nation I started to the Chefs where their farmer was ploughing was
[Apr 10, 1841 Page 69]
made verry uncomefortable on account
of rain which prevented me from doing some things among the chefs which I
had in view Father I started home through the rain got some wet but was
sheltered by an Indian [cloake] which was given me by one of the Chefs for
that purpose Day verry cool and moste part of the afternoon wet with some
thunder and lightening.
Saturday 10
Started soon to
the vilage and made my return as soon as possible, and spent moste of the
evening consulting with Messrs Bradly and hamilton on busness of the
mission Trouble with severe drowsiness, which led to a short sleep on the
floor. Day could and damp cloudy & wind from East.
[Apr 11,
1841 Page 70]
Sabath 11.
Remained at home all day and
attended meeting at Mr. Bradlys This day we had for some time set apart to
be observed as a day of fasting prayer and thanksgiving in view of the many
mercies enjoid and given particularly in preserveing and bringing our
parents and in prospering me on my journey to Liberty. we had an extra
meeting in our own family in which I red a discourse, on the exaltation of
Christ,'' which I hope was not altogether [undefying] to us Day gloomy and
could some snow fell in the morning and through the past night considerable
rain fell.
Monday 12th.
Mr. Bradly and I started to
the vilage with a view to encourage
[Apr 13, 1841 Page 71]
some of the Indians in engageing to labour to which some of them
seem more than usually inclined. This is one of the moste favourable signs
of the times which we now see After we reached thare we understood that a
french man had landed at the River on his way to the Bluffs with provisions
and wishd us to go and get some. we went but found he had gon past, and did
not see him.
Tusday 13th.
About noon started to the
Indians, but hearing that the big vilage was deeply engaged in a Buffalow
dance I did not go to teach as was intended. Today rather an [odd] [secen]
occurred among the Indians. on last night a white man come over the River
under
[Apr 14, 1841 Page 72]
of wishing
to borrow a horse to go to the Kickapoos, and to pay for this brought with
him a gal. of whisky & a deer skin. This morning the suspisions of the
first chief arose and he sent a number of men (Indians) and arrested and
tied the man and brought him back to his house and he is now thare, under
gard waiting the arival of the agent. It has been found sinse that this man
has ben [XXXXX] in passing counterfeit money and of flying from justice.
How right it is that he [XXXXX] in this tresh Day fine though high [N.]
wind
Wedensday 14
After assisting to roll some logs I
started to the vilage. I found moste all of the people old and [yong]
gone
[Apr 14, 1841 Page 73]
to a great danse to the
object of which was to put some spots as marks of honour or distinction in
the forheds of some young girls. This is done by the old father of
Ceromonus who does it by applying powder on the skin and then pricking it
with needles until it penetrates the skin. Near the whole vilage and nation
was assembled and most of the young woman and even small girls and children
ware [painted] and took an active part in the danse. I could not but admire
the courage of some little girls who would go forwards alone befor the
whole assembly and danse before the musick undaunted a severe reproof to
backward Christians who an [offacer] to go forward in the cause of Christ
Ten has struck evening spent in writing and at Mr. Bradly at meeting Day
fine warm & wind E
[Apr 15, 1841 Page 74]
Thursday 15
Went to the vilage to teach but was prevented by
their drunkenness from doing anything at all. Day fine but warm and looks
like for rain
Friday 16
Was prevented from going as
soon as ordinary to the vilage on account of rain Went in the afternoon and
found them all sober and was able to collect more than 20 schollars who
gave good attention, and I was surprised to find that they have retained so
much of what they learned last Spring They can sing and count as fluently
as ever and seem to be well pleased with the notion of learning This
morning I suffered myself to be led a stray by impatience
[Apr
17, 1841 Page 75]
and let my feeling handle me more than I
ought, and a sense of my sin led me to fast and beg to pray that I might be
[mortified] and humble which I hope was granted I am miserable blind and
naked. My leisure moments have been spent his moment in writing a sermon
from Peter ``Such as I have [given] I unto you'' It is about done and I
think I am some the better of it Began to rain about 9 ½ and
continue till after 12 fine growing shower with heavy thunder &
lightening which struck once in a tree near Mr. Bradlys house, afternoon
pleasant & warm.
Saturday 17th .
On last evening
an Indian came to our station, and said that an Indian woman had died, and
that it was the wish of the connections, of the diseased that we make a
coffin and bury the body in
[Apr 17, 1841 Page 76]
english style. This morning we ware prevented from begining soon to make
the coffin by heavy rain. About nine oclock an Indian come down to urge us
to be in a hury to go and bury the person As soon as we could Mr Bradly
Father two others & I took the wagon and some Boards with tools for
makeing and diging the grave. We went to the house and found them waiting
with great anxiety Mr B. and others went to dig the grave while I and
Father made the coffin. As soon as it was maid we put the Body in and took
it immediately to the grave which was ready. we buried it all in english
fassion. though the old man wished a small hole left in the end of the
coffin and had all her dress affairs entered with her In this case they
have shown more enter reliance than usual submiting all to our management
and
[Apr 17, 1841 Page 77]
seeming to be well pleased
with all that was done. The poor old man wept sorely and gave full evidence
of sincerity in his lamentations. Such occasion afforde favourable season
for religious talks with the Indians but not being able to attain a
suitable interpreter the occasion was pased without improvement. After all
was over the day was so far spent that I did not attempt to teach but come
home with the wagon and pased the evening in reading and meditation was
much edified I think in reading one of [Burdens] sermons from these records
``be ye also ready.'' Morning moste wonderfully cloudy and dark so much so
that a candle would have ben serviceable in the house rained until about 8
or 9 oclock and then gradually cleared off and afternoon clear & fine
[Apr 18, 1841 Page 78]
Sabath 18
This
morning Mr. Bradly Father and I started to the Indians to try to holde a
meeting among them Mr. Hamilton could not leave. We went doubting but in
some respects we suceeded better than was expected. As soon as we landed we
found the Agent & govermental interpreter thare. The agent seems to be
verry frendly and though not a [proffeser] is willing to cooperate with us
in all our undertakings he willingly let Jeffry the Interpreter go with us
and was entirely willing to wait untill we had a meeting though his anxiety
for going on was considerable. We had a meeting at [Wachamonjas] and thare
ware present more than a dozen men beside the woman & Children. We
talked to them and was pleased with the attention
[Apr 19, 1841
Page 79]
given it has I think been better attended and more
regard to what has been said than is common. But not anything special seems
to have occourred. We ware pained at seeing a number of the Ioways and
Sacks starting on a war excursion against the Sioux we understand that they
are to be meat by the potowatomes & Otoes Poor ignorant creatures they
seem to know not what they do Day warm & favourable
Monday,
19
Went to the vilage but did not get more than 13 schollars The
vilage seems to be emptied of all the [heathen] and a [XXXXX] men. Day
fine
Tusday 20th
was not able to start to the vilage
until near 4 oclock but
[Apr 19, 1841 Page 80]
favoured when I reached the spot. found 23 Schollars who behaved well and
seem to learn quite well. When done teaching I started to the chiefs houses
in company with an Otes Supersticious Omshaw we had not gone far when the
appearence of rain was quite strong. I observed to him that we should be in
haste, it would rain. He said No. after going a little further thunder
broke immediately over our heads when I said it will rain and we must hury
He said no. and after going a little further he set down and took out his
tobacco pouch and after throwing some upwards to the great Spirit he
muttered something low I could not understand. After this he went on and
struck up a [loud] song or a sound more like the wailing than anything else
He told me on inquiry that he was singin to the great Spirit, and there
would be no rain which actually was the case at that time one shower but
fine warm growing weather
[Apr 21, 1841 Page 81]
Wedensday 21st.
About 10 oclock word came that a portion of
the war party which started out a few days ago had fallen in with some
pawnees and that they had killed 9 and this morning had returned with all
the tryumphs of victory bearing with them scalps ears hands feet &c. At
the usual time I started to the vilage and found two much truth in the
report. when I came insight of the sacks (which comes first to view) they
ware busly engaged in dancing the scalp dance which was accompanied by the
war whoop not a few. It was a time of recess in dancing when I went but
they ware prepareing for it and soon began I saw the hand the scalps an ear
and a heart cut and stretched on a stake and [XXXXX] for those who [XXXXX]
to eat of. from all that I can learn I think the pawnees who they killd
ware on there way to a frendly
[Apr 22, 1841 Page 82]
visit. But these bloodthirsty reches fell upon them and butchered all but
six who made their escape. In the evening we came by the vilage when men
& woman ware deeply engaged in dancing But they did present a moste
wonderful appearence and made impressions on mind which will last as long
as memory. It is wonderful the low condition into which the depraved human
race will [run], and how wonderfully these creatures glory in their shame
Day favourable
Thursdy 22nd
Went to teach but found
the vilage nearly emptied. They had all went up to [Noncheningas] to the
great Scalp dance which was to be celebrated there. I got seven schollars.
who did well the rest being abcent Day warm & showry
[Apr
23, 1841 Page 83]
Friday 23 started at the usual time but when
near to the vilage saw that many ware drunk, proceeded in teaching and did
well for a time but as the second class ware reciteing all ware scatered I
may say in an instent by a drunken Indian who come into the house some hid
in one place and some another while some went out of the house Now can
imagine the real appearence of things. I feal at times much discouraged.
though in some respects I cannot say that I am much I think my mind is more
loose from my secular conscious but am I doing mor good. I am reading and
writing much but is my heart growing any better. I fear not or I am geting
more of a view of it, which my god grant All day cloudy forenoon some rain
evening more settled but cloudy
[Apr 24, 1841 Page 84]
Saturday 24.
Went to the vilage at the usual time and was
crowded with schollars. I know whi it was but they crowded upon me beyond
measure. I would think more than forty The day was wet & I suppose they
could not so well play as usual. The wariors who for some days have been
dancing over the scalps was prevented from proceeding on account of rain
but the say that they will resume it tomorrow They are dreading some the
consequences of what has been done but still they seem to tryumph greatly
in it. I have had many serous thoughts about this [XXXXX] [mellncholly]
event. & I fear that it all has been permited to reach and humble us
and bring us to our right place. It our shortecomeings have been so great
that it be necessary thus to sacrifise the lives of our fellow men we
should tremble and be [offacle]. Be this
Apr 25, 1841 Page
85]
as it may it must have some intimate bearing on us. and we
must pray that it be sancufied to us. I have just finised a discourse from
peters example in healing the indigent man who was laid at the gaut of the
temple to cast alms. I think I have recd good from it and so have some hope
that it may be edifying to others. Very cloudy and dark day and much rain
fell both before & after noon all of which was could.
Sabath
25
Meeting at our house. It was my lot according to appointment
to make some remarks or take some forward part in the meeting. I had
prepared a discourse on paper from these words ``Such as I have given
[XXXXX].'' Acts. 3-6 Previous to this Mr. Hamilton and I
[Apr
26, 1841 Page 86]
Went with the interpreter to the vilage and
succeeded in collecting a number of indian children with some grown persons
to whom each of us spoke some. thare was one old woman paid strict
attention More than is usual for them. But that it was any intrest she felt
in the meeting I am not able to say. Forenoon verry wet. rain near half of
the day
Monday 26th.
As soon as convenient I started
on horseback with a view of going to the mill and teaching on my return I
took with me one bushels of corn pased white clouds. and found Jeffry
[Deruay] thare and at the mill found that the dam was broke and was
disappointed in geting grinding done Come by the vilage and taught but a
few schollars The
[Apr 27, 1841 Page 87]
large part
of the village lay abcent as hunting some meet for a feast to conclude the
big scalp dance Day could and some cloudy
Tusday 27th.
Started to the vilage in company with Jeffry and Mr. Bradly with a
view to look out a sight for a mill on a creek on our way. when we went to
W. Clouds we saw a company of Otoes about 70 in no. who had came to visit
the Ioways Went to the Otes vilage and found them just closeing the great
scalp danse. They had a long pole erected and the scalps & [o]
suspended, and ware about finishing all off with some drinking of whisky.
Day cloudy & some rain about 3 oclock P.M.
[Apr 28, 1841
Page 88]
Wedensday 28
Spent moste of the morning in
makeing a Board for an Ioway woman on which to carry a young infant. This
is the custom among them and it is I suppose the main cause of the peculiar
shape which many of the heads have. Before I was quite done with this a Boy
came with a note from the main chefs saying that his wife was verry ill and
stood in need of medacle releaf, and requested me to go up immediately,
which I did. I found the poor woman to be pitied in many respects she was
suffering moste severely under the inflammatory Rumatism, scarcely fit to
be moved even with the utmost care, and withall her husband and a number of
Indians was drunk and make a moste miserable and distracting noise around
her and through all the house. A large No. of Otoes had come down
[Apr 28, 1841 Page 89]
on yesterday and some of them with not
a few sacks ware engaged in drinking. all of which made things moste
unhappy for the poor woman. After doing what was in my power for her I went
to the Ote vilage where I taught some, and found many both man & woman
drunk One woman came in to the house when I taught and disturbed the school
not a little After teaching I made a door for the house in which I taught
at the request of the man who owned it. He said that the drunken Indians
trouble him so much that he muste have a door that which render this
amuseing is, that thare are but few in the Nation who get drunk more
frequent than himself. In the evening comeing home I got some wet in a
[smack] shower which continued at intervals until later After night meeting
at our house. I for a long time have not felt so unworthy. I hardly knew
what to try to say in prayer I was so wonderful
[Apr 29, 1841
Page 90]
unworthy and so justly exposed to the wrath of an angry
God what shall I do. I am so far from my God and the fountain of all good.
I am a writch [unclean] without thy spirit and thy grace I find that I come
short in every respect oh what shall I do. I am so unworthy and justly
exposed to the everlasting wrath of God All the day dark & cloudy but
no rain fell untill about 12 or 1 oclock, and fell with intervals
increasing until after five when we had a severe rain with some hail and
rain is still continueing to fall it is about ten.
Thursday
29th.
Started to the vilage at the usual time and of teaching
hung and fixed a temporary door to a Bark lodge or house in which I have
been teaching. found but a few schollars at the usual place of teaching,
and thought it best to go round the vilage and enter each
[Apr
29, 1841 Page 91]
of the houses and search out all that I could
and have them say a lesson. This in some respects is a good plan, though it
is not without its difficulties. After I reached home I was informed that
white clouds wife was rather worse and it was her wish that I should go and
see her. I accordingly started on foot, and with hard walking reached there
a little before sunlit. I found her in extreme pain. with a severe attack
of inflammatory rheumatism. I [bled] her copiously, and applied Blisters to
the parts moste affected, and as soon as possible returned home which I did
not reach until affer dark. an not a little tired. yet I think I felt some
thankful for the opertunity of serveing the poor suffering woman This
morning was verry could with high wind from the N. W. and the ground was
covered with sleet and snow and froze. things had the appearance of winter
[Misowagerate] the Sack Chifs and his party have just returned from a visit
to the Mississippi having 70 horses
[Apr 30, 1841 Page 92]
Friday 30th.
Went to the vilage to teach and found more
than 20 schollars, who did well after teaching I went to see the Chefs wife
whom I had visited last night. found her some better but sill quite ill
Dresed her blisters and gave her some advise. She told me that she was not
well used by the woman of the house (one of them being another wife of the
chef, he having [3] wives) that her husband when drunk had said she was not
sick or pained but that she was pretending. She is a half bread, a smarte
and interresting woman who appears well worthy of a better situation than
she now has. She is truly an object of commisseration suffering under the
[moste] unfavour circumstances and best accommodations is seen. but how
much worse here Day clear fine & dry
[May 1, 1841 Page
93]
Saturday May 1st.
Mrs. Irvin started with Father
to the chiefs settlement particularly to see the wife of the principle
chief who is ill and who I have been visiting I went on foot as soon as I
could and meet Mrs. I. at the chiefs and her and I come home by the vilage
where I taught some schollars only about 15. The woman have commenced to
work at their fields and are takeing off some of the children, Another week
is gone and its doings on my parts are recorded in the other world is it
favourable or the reverse? I fear & not without reason that it is the
latter. O. I am poor hell deserving sinner and can hope only in Christ.
Day warm and more fine than any for a long time past.
[May 3, 1841 Page 94]
Monday 3rd.
I may here
mention once for all that I nevr wrote a stroke in my journal upon the
Sabath. though all the forgoing writings implis that I did or I wrote as on
the presise day. To do this I think would be rong and I moste likely will
give up the practise and speak as it is Monday as in strictness all the
foregoing ought to be. On yesterday we had meeting at Mr. Bradlys It being
monthly consort. Mr. B. red an address sutable to the occasion. Some
freedom in prayer Day cool and Cloudy an a little rain in the evening.
Today I went to the vilage and found about 15 schollars. posed by
the chiefs houses and found some of them drunk
[May 4, 1841 Page
95]
and the poor afflicted woman not any better and but poorly
treated. There suffering in case of sickness is not a few. I was fed quite
high on sweet corn, to day so much that I do not now feel the better of it
Day cloudy & evening wet.
Tusday 4
Went as usual
to the vilage to teach, but found that moste of the male schollars were
gone out on a skuting party. I was told that it was with great difficuly
that they could be pursevaded to go. Some ware forced crying and weeping as
they went. This a moste dreadful thing forcing the children away to be
exposed to the vengence of an [XXXXX] Indian is little less
[May
5, 1841 Page 96]
cruel. But they must have them train for war,
this to them is more pleasing that any litterary attanments that they could
possibly make Taugh a good number of girls Day verry dark and cloudy and
some gently rain remarkable wet. Lesson time given to the book in
preparation for the press.
Wedensday 5
Before going
to school I spent my time in prepareing a manuscript of the Book we are
prepareing for the school. About 10 started to the vilage and taught what I
could find, But the Boys have not come Back from their late expedition some
I understand have gon for whisky and are expected soon. The woman are
commencing to work in the fields Day dry clear and fine
[May
22, 1841 Page 113]
May Saturday 22 [1841]
Spent all
the day in makeing preparations at the Book for the Ioways and had not time
to do ought else beautiful shower in evening
Monday 24
Yesterday we went to the vilage and had a meeting with a number of
Indians who gave medling attention. In the evening meet at Mr. Bradleys and
had preaching. Today I [sill] assisted with Mr. Hamilton in prepareing a
Book & I design starting in the morning if spared to Liberty to have it
printed and Im now tired and can scarcly rite Dry Dry & warm
Monday June 7th
All the time between this and the last date
above I have been absent from the station on a tour to Liberty for the
purpose of having some
[Jun 7, 1841 Page 114]
printing done for our School at the station. On tusday we left home and
came to the Missouri River at Rubedeaux, where we ware delayed in crossing
untill evening. I found a small canoe in which I crosed Mrs. I & Eliot
but we ware not able to cross or swim our horses by it. A french man &
I made the attempt but in doing so ware thrown into the water and gave up
the undertakeing. About dark through the petitioners of some mill rights
and others who had the kindness to aid I suceeded in swimming the horses by
the side of a Macanaw Boat we ware compeld to stay thare over night and
recd a hospitable treatment from the woman who was mistress of the
house.
On Wedensday the day following we went only to Mr.
Ballards and ware much pleased to meet with our old friends they gave us a
hearty welcome and then we spent the night.
[Jun 7, 1841 Page
115]
On Thursday I went on to Liberty and put up at the tavern
of Mr. Isenhour. In the evening I was so ill that I was utterly unfit for
any business severe pain in my head and loss of appetite. I found some
letters at Liberty and among others two from the Board containing
instructions for Mr. Bradly to leave the station for Chipaway. Friday I
made contract for doing the printing for the School and from this until
Thursday I was emploid mainly in seeing to the printing and correcting
proofs. My leisure time was mostely spent in reading the Bible and some
paper which I found at the office
On Thursday morning about 3
oclock I started homeward that I might improve the cool of the morning as
much as possible. About 3 oclock I reached Mr. Ballards after making about
42 miles. and found al in [XXXXX]
[Jun 1841 Page 116]
On friday morning we made early preparations for starting on our way
homeward but just as I was about geting on my horse I found that I was so
ill as not to be safe for me to proceed farther. I returned and went to bed
and took some medacine and was verry unwell all day Saturday we started for
home, and when we landed at Rubedeaux we ware stoped about 2 hours on
account of rain About 12 we crosed the River by swiming the horses by a
canoe and about dark we reached home entertaining as I hope many sincere
thanks for the kindnesses shown to us on our journy and in all our absence.
On Sabath we understand that the Indians ware so drunk that it
was useless to attempt a meeting among them. At 3 meeting was attended at
our room but
[Jun 1841 Page 117]
I was so ill that I
was obliged to lie all the time of the exercise in bed. Today I am some
better but I do not feel so well as to undertake a journy to the vilage. I
spent moste of the day in company with Mr. Bradly and in assisting as far
as I could in prepareing or aiding him in prepareing for the journy. On
Reviewing my late journy I cannot look upon it in any other way than that
we have been in a wonderful manner blesed and preserved. From the time I
crosed the
River at Rubedeaux untill the present I have not
enjoid one days good health not even an hours. I have also suffered from
enflamed and sore eyes. All this and much more I deserve yet amid all this
I have been able all the time to attend business and finally to reach my
beloved home. Of that I may be more anxious about a home in the Skies that
when I am done with this
[Jun 1841 Page 118]
troublesome life I may enjoy a substanail resting place at the right hand
of the majesty on high I am one of the moste poor & miserable creatures
over whom God extends his peculiar car. how unworthy the name of a
missionary. how unworthy the name of a christian. Oh Shall I ever live at
this poor dieing rate? I deserve more sever afflictions than any that ever
has yet been endured and it is only because that Christ has endured for me
that I so much escape *
Tusday 8th
Went with Mr.
Bradly to the chefs and vilage but was so hurried that I did not get time
to teach at the vilage. [Tare] was a large number of Boys come to our house
for fish hooks &c. and I took the oppertunity of giving them a Lesson.
* I may here remark in
[Jun 9, 1841 Page 119]
relation to the weather that all the while that I was at Liberty and
previously (in that region it is wonderful dry, and what is moste
remarkeable than has been almoste daily great appearences of rain Heavy
thunderclouds, appearing to be loaded with rain pass over in various
directions many are begining to despair of crops. It is thought that obacco
and hemp will [XXXXX]. But we will have ``seed time & harvest,'' This
day is as dry and warm as usual. The weather is as notable for heat as
drouth while I was at Liberty the Thermometer stood at 99 in the shade
Wedensday 9
Went to the village and assisted Mr. Bradly
who is ordered away from this place to another station by the Board, to
pack up and make the needful preparations. He does design to start on the
morrow, and it is
[Jun 10, 1841 Page 120]
contemplated having Sacrament or communion in the morning before he
starts. In the evening we had our proper meting but not untill after night.
Day wonderful dry and warm.
Thursday 10th
This
morning befor five oclock we assembled in our room and had communion, after
which Mr. Bradly and family took an affectionate and I suppose final leave
of all at the station. It was quite affecting. we have spent years together
on earth and in all probabuly will never see each other in this world. They
are fine affection and tender people and ther departure seems like the loss
of an dear friend. After they started I could not suppress my feelings. I
had to give them vent in tears. I pray god that we may meet in heaven
ususaly dry & warm is great [XXXXX].
[Jun 11, 1841 Page
121]
After they had started I started for the vilage but after
going near a mile I was met by an Indian who told me they ware so drunk at
the vilage that It was not worth while for me to go. I turned back and went
to my studies. very Dry & warm
Friday 11
found a
good number of Schollars who behaved well, all sober, but many much alarmed
from report of a party of Omahaws being in march for war aganst the Ioways
& Sax. But like all or moste reports of the sort, I suppose it very
doubtful.
The weather continues wonderful dry & warm, the
ground is powder and grass drying and but little of vegetation improveing
Saturday 12th.
Rode to the vilage today it being
moste severely warm I had
[Jun 12, 1841 Page 122]
more than 20 schollars, but had some difficulty and discouragements,
scarcely know how to proceed. They are takeing offence because I do not
give more clothes, or greater rewards for learning. I am at time almoste
led to dispare of the good of the poor Indians. It seems as if distruction
is inevitably ther doom God may have large blessings in store for them But
ther present condition is deploreable indeed They ware expecting more
liquor this evening. Just as I was starting to the village Mrs. Whitecloud
come with a light wagon full of ther moste valuable good for safekeeping
against the Omahaws, who it is said are on a march against the Ioways &
Sacks. Since the last war excursion they are in constant uneasiness and
confusion fearing that the enemis will fall upon and destroy them at once
[Jun 13, 1841 Page 123]
As far as consearns my own
feelings & experience I cannot see that it is much if any stronger than
it was [XXXXX] or more years ago. This speaks Badly of my experience my
time is growing more short. and I am nearder my journeys end than ever
before and I ought now to feel more ready than ever I did. But I cannot
think that this is the Case O Lord pity a Lord forgive do and difer not.
for surely I am wonderful needy. prepare me Lord for the morrow Day
amazing warm. In the evening great appearence of rain; but all failed
Sabath 13
Mr Hamilton & interpreter went to the
vilage while I remained at home thare is so much uneasiness about Omahaws
& Pawnees that it is hardly thought safe for all to leave at once
[Jun 14, 1841 Page 124]
In the afternoon
we meet at Mr Hamiltons and I red in meeting a part of Millers sermon on
the death of Wm. Bar. Last night wonderful appearence of rain Lightening
was constantly flashing but no rain.
Monday 14
while
at worship [Hromonga] came drunk the first drunk Indian which has visited
us this Summer. He was quiate and not disposed to be mischeevous. I went to
the chefs houses and found moste of them drunk. I had a good number of
schollars at the old vilage. I went to the Sack vilage to have a plough
brought home. found them replanting their corne, It has not come up because
of the drouth. Many temptations and seem to have but little strenght to
slow against them poor miserable creature But god is merceful Day quite
cool some rain must have fallen N. wind W.
[Jun 15, 1841 Page
125]
Tusday 15th. [June 1841]
Took Nancy to the
vilage to aid in giting some sewing thread, which was solen on yesterday
Before we reached the vilage we understood that maney in the vilage ware
drunk, when in light of the vilage we war satisfied of the truth of the
report. we sat down and for a time hesited wheather we should go in or
return home, we ventured in finally But could not teach. Maney ware drunk
some angry & disposed to fight. we soon found our way homeward, without
affecting anything. After night Mr. H. and I went to see Mrs. [Rubeth] who
is very low in sickness & did not return untill near midnight. Day
cool and mostely cloudy.
[Jun 16, 1841 Page 126]
Wedensday 16th.
Soon after sun up a gentle shower came on
which continued until near 12 and moste Beautifuly refreshed vegitation
which has been long parched under a [XXXXX] [some] It is truly a matter of
no small gratitude that providence has been thus pleased to visit the earth
with a refreshing shower. But do not I need a shower of divine graces more
than the earth needs the rain? Shurly I ought to ben moste desireous for
the soul. It was so wet & having no horse I remained at home. Sifted
flour convesed long with Mr. H. In the evening had meeting at Mr. Hamils.
for weather see above
[Jun 17, 1841 Page 127]
Thursday 17th.
Went to the vilage and was favoured in teaching
Schollars. few but did well. Just as I was concluding my teaching some
whiskey came to the vilage and it was soon serounded and produced its usual
affect. Noise, confusion and fighting much prevailed, and I soon left the
noise for home. Mr & Mrs. Hamilton spent the evening at our house
Morng very foggy and dark and some rain fall afternoon Cloudy & warm
Friday 18
Started soon and went round by the houses of
the chefs and when thare found their fences so bad and the grain in such a
[Jun 17, 1841 Page 128]
condition that I concluded I
would omit school and try to aid preserving the remaining crops. All ther
patches of wheat is destroyed except two. This is vexacious as It a short
time ago looked verry promising, and they ware much pleased as also was the
farmer. But ther Indolence which seems incredible and more than I can
easily bare. had two or three of them went out in the Cool of the morning,
they might have had their wheat in good prospect They seem to take no
thought for the morrow & particulary none for the next year.
``sufficient unto the day in the evil thereoff.'' Day foggy in the
morning. Cloudy all day & verry warm
[Sept 3, 1841 Page
177]
Friday & Saturday 3 & 4th Sept.
Continued to work verry hard at the house, untill about 3 oclock when I
finished the west room. from 3 to night I dressed shaved &c. Week
steals upon week and the last week will come. I have today had serious
thoughts that my last week may not be verry distant. I am takeing some
panes in fixing up our dwellings and it maybe that when I get them
completed I may be calld from them and am I assured of a house not made
with hands in heaven when I leave these tattering walls? Am I as labourious
and as anxious for an assurence of a heavenly house as I am to have our
present temporal dwelling in good repare? May I keep up a stead spirit of
self examination. Yesterday cloud today more clear both very warm
[Sep 6, 1841 Page 178]
Monday 6th.
On yesterday we
attended meeting at Mr. Hamiltons. He spent some time in explaneing the
difficult parts of the 8th Chapter of Romans. But the exposition was I
thought rather docternal than practactle. Today I resumed my labour at the
house repairing floors &c. which is difficult and disagreeable It
brings to mind the purgeing out the old [liver] or removeing the old
corruptions of sin and wickedness in the carnal heart. Day warm and verry
fine with severe winds from the south.
Saturday 11th.
All this week I have been so busy at my house and my eyes
[Sep
6, 1841 Page 179]
eyes so sore at night that I have not been
able to keep a regular diary of the time On monday I had Rubeth &
Decatre to mow & on tusday afternoon I put up what was mowed. On
wedensday I finished the floors of our two rooms and on Thursday I made
some other repares and assisted in cleansing the house. On yesterday and
today I made preparations for improveing the house on the other side of the
river By hewing logs getting some Clapboards and &c. On today I quit
work before night and spent some time in walking round the place and seeing
the fruits which providence has been pleased to give us. our Corn is good
potatoes pumpkins &c are of an excellent quality and verry abundent. On
looking
[Sep 6, 1841 Page 180]
over the Summer I
cannot but feel [assboured] at my [felling] fears &c. The truth was so
great in the forepart of the season that I thought thare would be no corn
and was fearing that we would die in want. But Providence has always out
striped my highest expectations and in a wonderful manner has done it this
year O how far beyond my [XXXXX] has providence for me and my family
through all our journey. On last night Mr. Tinker staid at our house said
he has been at the mountains one year and traded some whisky, at that place
it takes 5 gills to make a pint, when they measure the liquor they will not
fill the gill, measure quite full and then will not pour it all out
[Sep 13, 1841 Page 181]
They give a pint for a Buffalow
Skin He was onse [himself] he said in great Danger at the [Sheanne] vilage
in tradeing liquor, some wanted to take his whisky while others ware
opposed, and it rose to a severe fight among the Indians but he was not
hurt. nor did he know his danger untill near a week after the lodge was cut
to peaces in which he was. On Tusday evening it commenced to rain and
rained with out little intermission untill Thursday night. we supose it to
be the equinoxial storm. This morning thare was a little frost this day was
clear and cool
Monday 13th.
On yesterday Mr. Ham-
[Sep 13, 1841 Page 182]
had to fill an appointment on
the other side of the River and I accompanied him He made a discourse from
these words ``And in hell he lifted up his eyes being in torment. I made a
few remarks in conclusion, with a view mainly to enforce attention to what
had been said. Thare ware but few out, we ware told that the grog shops
ware two numerous and too well attended on the Sabath, to allow large
congregations at preaching. Dr Smith was thare and brought us some letters
Today I resumed working at the house split some clapboards and in the
afternoon I made a new tongue
[Sep 13, 1841 Page 183]
for the wagon. In the evening the Agt. Maj. Richardson came with his
family to Mr. Hamiltons and I suppose intends to reside here. It is a fine
arrangement it will I hope keep the Indians in better subjection. In the
evening before the agent come [Shooneton] come drunk but was peaceable. [So
no] after another came at full spead, let off at Mr Hamiltons but wa stoped
by Mr. H. and with the aid of a sober indian who came to attend to him, we
with some difficulty got him away Poor Indians are wonderfully drunken
yesterday morning clear afternoon Cloudy today morning few drops of rain
and appearance of more but afternoon clear & fine
[Sep 14,
1841 Page 184]
Tusday 14th.
Continued to work at the
house prepareing to raise it higher and put on a new roof. On Sabath last
mother and Rhoda ware taken sick and today both ware much worse Rhoda
especially. In fact she appeared verry low indeed she was destitute of her
sences for moste of the day and talked quite foolishly in the evening when
suffering moste severe pain She repeted part of her prayers verry distantly
especially ``If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to
take.'' This she done in a moste affecting manner which brought tear to the
eyes of those who heard and saw I could not but feal sorry to see the
inocent child suffer so much but God knows what is Best and his will be
done. Day pleasant & wind South.
[Sep 18, 1841 Page 185]
Saturday 18th.
Since the last date, I have been
prevented in various ways from writing regularly in my Diary, mainly from
two reasons, 1st sore eyes & 2nd sickness in the family. Rhoda and
Eliot has both been quite unwell, especially on Thursday night, and to day
It appears something like the Agu fever. It seems to renew its attack every
second day and is quite severe Rhoda has grown [quite] low she is scarcely
able to set up at all and while the fever prevails she is quite deranged in
mind. Has but little appetite and is growing weaker every day
Tusday 21st
Since the last date I have done but little except
take care of the sick of our Family. Rhoda & Eliot both have been very
sick. On Sabath
[Sep 18, 1841 Page 186]
Eliot was
taken with a severe fever and some simptoms of Croup or hives Dureing the
night he continued to grow worse and worse and by daylight he had every
simptom of an advanced stage in the Croup we found that something must be
done soon and we gave immediately an active [Emelick], and followed it with
a dose of Calomel which to all appearence subdued the dreadful disorder The
verry first motion of the vomit gave releaf The hoarseness was at once
removed and swet and [marshis] immediately followed the now appears quite
well except that he has a verry bad cold thought it appears loose and his
nose runs verry fast. We hope that with care he may be fully restored
[Sep 18, 1841 Page 187]
Rhoda has been quite ill
[XXXXX] vomited severely & repeatedly purged with calomel coil &
[XXXXX] besides by [injected] and Blistered She is extremely weak though
for two days she has had little or no fever and been eating as much as is
safe she is not yet able to walk having all the time to lie in bed or being
supported by pillows on chair. How wonderful kind is the merciful
providence which has ever protected us and restored us to health. Mrs. I
& my self have in the mean time been some unwell but are now
convelecent. ware I to attempt to enumarate the ways in which the mercy and
goodness of God appears to us I would at be lost. good food houses frends,
medacine, weather clothes Beds fuel &c are but a few of the ways in
[Sep 25, 1841 Page 188]
which God has in wonder shown
his care and tendernss to us May we magnify the Lord for his goodness to us
The weather lately a [sincXX] than middle of last week has been different
verry, from what was general through the Summer. Wet verry wet more or less
every day. On yesterday we had a moste severe rain more so than any for the
Summer it seems to be the clearing up Shower comeing from the [N.] W. and
very hard and continued for a long time. This evening is clear and the
weather looks as if it was settled.
Saturday 25th.
Since the last date sickness and business has hindred me from writing
regularly. Rhoda is much better indeed she appears to be with care out of
[Sep 25, 1841 Page 189]
danger. But Eliot is very
Bad we have at times nearly Dispared of him living. He appears to have a
fever of the intermittent kind which is verry obstinate and unyielding, and
which at times is attended with Diarrehea which is to us somewhat alarming.
Mrs. Irvin is verry much alarmed. In fact more, much more than she ought.
For my own part. I believe that I could rejoice in seeing him leave this
world though to the flesh I know it would be severe. But I know that this
world is so troublesome and dangerous that I cannot wish one who I love so
well to remain long in it; particularly when they are prepared for leaving
it with good hope of makeing a profitable exchange. I have all the time
worked busily at the house. On Friday we raised it several rounds higher
and today finished puting on the roof
[Sep 27, 1841 Page
190]
On Thursday we finished puting up our hay. Some of it had
lain out under sever rains but was but little injured. The weather rather
gloomy and warmer than is generally expected at this season
Monday 27
On yesterday Mr. Hamilton and Father went over the
[run] Mr. H. Had an appointment at Mr. Robineses on the point who is
reputed to be a whiskey trader. This is remarkable, what the real object of
the man in soliciting preaching at his house as is unknown but we moste
sincerely prey that It may be brought about to the good of the family and
the neighbourhood which appears to be nearly a [Bendity] or set of out caws
dead to every principle of morality and even [XXXXX.] we had
[Sep 28, 1841 Page 191]
not any religious exercise (publick)
untill afternight Day fine
Today worked at the house finished
the porch verry tired and scarcely able to write Eliot is some better. But
far from being well Day cloudy and little rain, warm
Tusday
28th.
Worked all day at the house and being alone I worked hard
and to some disadvantage In the evening I was so far through that I could
scarcely work at all. I fixed the front door and cut out and put in a windo
in the west end of the house Day fine wind from the south.
Wedensday 29th
Continued to work at the house. was alone moste
of the day. father being hauling stone to make him put a windo in the Back
of the house Day fine dry and cloudy
[Oct 9, 1841 Page 192]
Saturday 9th Oct.
Absence from home and busenes while at
home has prevented me from making enter in my diary since the last date. On
a week past from yesterday Mr. Hamilton and started to the nodaway. He had
an appointment thare to hold a sacrament thare, and. It seemed to be with
some difficulty that I could pearswade myself to go with him to the place
of appointment; my busines at home appearing so urgent. But I went & I
have great reason to bless the Lord for his loveing kindnesses to me his
mercies ware moste clearly shown. The occasin was one of no small
importance. Mr. Hamilton laboured hard to set forth the truth of the gosple
and the importence of its acquirements.
[Oct 17, 1841 Page
109]
and I concluded to go to look a little for him. I started
on foot not expecting to go far, but went on and on with increasing haste
and anxiety, untill near ``wachamonus near 3 miles befor I meet with him He
had been lat in geting the meal across the river and then started and
finally left the wagon Day cloudy & cool and some appearence of
snow.
Saturday 17
At Day breake I started for the
meal which father had left on yesterday, got home before noon and in the
evening assisted in geting up some corn Day cool & cloudy but now snow
or rain.
Tusday 23rd. from some cause I have mised the
propectate of the month and have concluded to commence in the new with a
view of keeping up my regular diary in the proper time. I have been much
thronged with business lately that I have been culpabaly negligent on this
part, for the time to come I hope to be more prompt Days past have been
fine dry but cool & clear
[Oct 24, 1841 Page 110]
Wedensday 24
Spent the day in makeing some fence fixing my
corn cribes, which have just been filld with corn for the winter and
makeing all preparations in my power for the comeing storms of the winter
In the evening meet in our room for meeting Day was cloudy and strong
appearences of snow.
Thursday 25
About 10 oclock
last night a severe snow storm commenced and continued all night, and all
this day without the least intermission snow is more than a foot deep and
in many places drifted many feet. I did but little else than reed and but
little of that as my attention was directed much towards the beasts in the
storm.
Friday 26 worked some out and wrote some letters in the
evening got some news in the form of papers and feasted on them
[Oct 27, 1841 Page 111]
Commenced teaching our Children
Elisha & Swift from Mr. Ballards has come as interpreter and bords with
we have formed a class of their and our Children which will receive some
attention though winter if god permit Day some cloudy this evening clear
& severely could.
Saturday 27th
Today Mr.
Richardsons family left our room and somepart of the day was spent in this
way. A Box was received a donation from some Ladies in Louisville Ka. and
the examination and division of in also took some part of my time. The
residu was in the study and instructing the Indian Children. I did think
that this winter would be appropriate closely to study bu I find my time
wonderfully [solen] away. My prayer is that it my not be to the loss of my
[sad] Day clear but night very could. Snow deep
[Oct 29, 1841
Page 112]
Monday 29
On yesterday we had meeting at
Mr. Hamiltons, we had a good sermon from Mr. H. Today I was quite unwell
did not pretend to do much other than lay in the house and what time I was
able read and write. Day very clear and fine but snow deep and could
Tusday 30
Still unwell and did but little, red and
studied what I was able I fear I am getting the Dispepsia the simptoms seem
to indicate that Day fine and more moderate.
Wedensday 1st.
Dec.
Some better, [XXXXX] some out, at takeing up my potatoes
[Dec 2, 1841 Page 113]
or rather picking out the rotten
ones from the sound and put them good away for winter. Meeting at Mr. H.
had some freedom and [XXXXX] on [draft] more than for some time past. Day
was in and afternoon Cloudy
Thusday 2nd.
So unwell
that I did not pretend to do much of anything. Was quite ill though I think
I was some better Poor man at his lust is but a frail mortal and must soon
leave this mortal state, with me it must soon be so In the evening Mr.
Dixon came here from the Platt River and county to make arrangements for
geting some flour brought from the River Day moderate thawing icle almost
gone
Friday 3rd.
Spent the morning in some
[Dec 4, 1841 Page 214]
busines with Mr. Dixon when he and
father started about eleven oclock for the Platt father does not think of
comeing back until next week perhaps the last wishes to buy a wagon and
oxen for the Indian farm got some wood &c. Day fine moderate and
thawing.
Saturday 4th.
Spent the moste of the day at
the Smith Shop in make a crane for our kitchen fine place Day verry fine
clear and moderate
Monday 6th
Yesterday meeting was
at our house Mr. H. preached a practicle sermon & in the evening we
meet for monthly consert I made some remarks [XXXXX] [XXXXX] to show that a
christian spirit is a missionary spirit. wherever we find deep [XXXXX] we
find a true missionary spirit or love to [man]
[Dec 7, 1841 Page
215]
Today we went to assist Mr. Montague to put a stable for
the Agent spent all the day and in the evening was unfit for study having
in addition to my weariness a severe tooth ake and bad cold. Day very fine
clear and moderate.
Tusday 7
Assisted in measureing
some corn for the Agent and geting some wood In the evening Mr. Estes come
with some hogs for the agent and ourselves quite warm and mostely clear
Wedensday 8
On yesterday Mr. Estes from the Platt
came with some hogs for the Agency and mission and today we all engaged in
killing which took up near all the day In the evening we had meeting at
[Dec 9, 1841 Page 216]
our room Day fogy in the morning
and gloomy all the evening
Thirsday 9th.
All this day
was spent in cuting up salting away &c. at the meet which was butchered
on yesterday, found my meet much better and much more abundent than I
expected. How merciful passing all immagination is the merciful preserver
of our lives and giver of all things. We at this station have been moste
wonderfully provided for this season having all our provisions delivered to
us in good order and at a verry cheep rate 50 per cent below what was
usual, and without any time being lost in hunting or strength spent in
[delivery] after the provisions on hand. Surely we should be at least 50
percent more devoted and more obedient than formerly Day very fine,
remarkably warm
[Dec 10 Page 217]
Friday 10th.
This day was emploid in finishing up our butchering matters hauling
some wood covering some potatoes and &c Still strongly emprised with
the thought of Gods wonderful kindness. I am [XXXXX] to doubt that we may
enjoy our good things in this life only may God in his mercy [portend] Day
very clear & moderate
Saturday 11th.
Spent all
the day in assisting Mr. Martin in puting up some [buddings] which he had
undertaken to put up for the agent, at the Agency on the Sack land. Mr.
Martyn come to spend the evening and as he is siting talking I cannot write
much correctly Day very fine warm and dry.
[Dec 13, 1841 Page
218]
Monday 13th.
On yesterday Mr. Hamilton preached
a fine sermon from these words prepare to meet thy God. It was a most
pathetick and important discourse and verry appropriate in preparation for
our expected Communion on next Sabath. Day gloomy and moderate
Today spent some time in teaching the Children Choped some wood studied
some and wrote some also Many conflicts and trials especially of an
earthly nature perplexed wonderfully with a worldly minds spirit when shall
I get rid of this spectre which so much troubles me night and day Day
cloudy and moderate
Tusday 14
Spent the day in study
[Dec 21, 1841 Page 219]
so much pain in my head from
study and mental fatigue that I cannot write much Day moderate cloudy and
warm
Tusday 21st.
Since the last note my time and
feelings have been so interrupted by sickness and especially pains in my
teeth that I could not muster courage and composure to write. On last
Sabath the Ordinence of the Sacrament was attended in this place, and moste
of my time prevous was spent in some way trying to prepare myself for the
solemnities and importence of the ocassion. Friday last was our fast day I
had some temptations and much coldness. But I must believe that God
manifasted himself in some good [gigree] on the Sabath, in affording
composure of mind and freedom from worldly thoughts, which do so often and
miserably perplex me I am one of the poorest ungreatful, and groveling of
all gods creatures, forgeting my lust interests and
[Dec 21,
1841 Page 220]
[XXXXX] shamefully and sinful to this world which
perished. The Sacrament is now over and my obligations are increased and
vows renewed May the Lord enable me to live to his honour and especially to
the destruction of this sinful love of the world. On yesterday I went to
the ferry to inquire about some oxen belonging to the Ioways which ware
left thare a few days ago after a vain attempt to swim them across the
river The distance was aleast 18 miles and I went & returned in one day
though I did not start until after ten oclock I reached home about 8 or 9
oclock after a could and tiresome ride. I was well prepared with clotheing
and did not suffer much I still feel quite unwell weak and want of
strength and energy My days may be drawing near a close. God knows my
business is to be ready, which may God grant for Christs Sake
weather could fuseing and mostly cloudy
[Dec 22, 1841 Page
221]
Wedensday 22
On last evening I became so unwell
that I found it necessary to take some phisick which prevented me from
doing much today but nurce myself. This evening I feel much better, was
able to go to the agency to prayer meeting which was appointed thare this
evening to accommodate our kind Christian neighbours in that place. Mr. H.
gave a good exortation in regard to the proper place of moving our treasure
Day moderate and some snow fell.
Thursday 25
Choped
some wood, and spent some time at the Smith Shop. Just as I came from the
Shop I saw by the corner of the field a sack squaw wrestling with a drunken
[XXXXX] who was so drunk and cold as to be about
[Dec 22, 1841
Page 222]
insensible, he had fallen down and lain for some time,
and became so numb with could as not to have the use of his limbs. I went
to her assistence, and we ware soon after joined by Mr. Hamilton, and
together we took him to his lodge. After super I heard that two had been
seen still farther back along the road who ware unable to walk and who from
the couldness of the evening must soon perish I started after them, it
being some time after dark but at first did not find aney and returned, but
geting more direct information I started with an Ioway Indian and we found
the one neardest our house. He was nearly child not able to walk and his
blanket froze to the ground. We got him up and by our walking under each
arm we dragged him to the house We then started for the other who we found
at least a mile from the house and who appeared to have lost nearly all use
or pacers of his limbs He could not speak or walk and for some distance we
had to infact carry him along, but gradly he become
[Dec 24,
1841 Page 223]
more able to support himself, and after much
labour and with the aid of an ocasional rest we got him home also. After
they came a little to me succeeded in getting them to their own camp which
was about a quarter It appeared that their people ware [grount] or careless
of the situation and as the night was severely could the moste so if aney
we have had this season they must have soon persisted. It is a privilege to
be able to rescue even one of these poor creatures from an earthly grave
But how much more important to be instrumental in snaking them from the
edge of eternal destruction. Day mostly clear and severely could.
Friday 24
Part of the day was spent in getting
some wood, the rest in study and writing except some time with the agent,
and the Indians in my room Day fine not severely could but freeseing.
[Dec 25, 1841 Page 224]
Christmas 25 Dec.
Spent moste of the day in geting wood for the kitchen. Finished a
discourse which I have had on hand for near two weeks. It is a long time
but poor enough. I am not shure that am right in not spending this day more
in devotion to bring to mind more forcibly the Saviours [condiscention] and
amaseing mercy. It is thought to be a catholick notion but one thing is
clear I cannot prey too much or have too affecting views of the Saviour in
his amaseing plans of love to the children of men. Every occasion ought
moste clearly to be improved which would be in the last calculation to
exalt and enlarge our views of this subject Day beautiful could and
clear
[Title Page 1842]
Diary & Journal
At
Ioway Mission
January 1st. A.D. 1842
S.M. Irvin
Vol. 5th
[Blank page]
[Jan 1,
1842 Page 3]
January 1st A.D. 1842
Commenced the year
under greater favourable appearences and circumstances. The day was moste
fine being clear and miled and the ground covered with a light skift of
snow Our family at the station all enjoy good health and in the year that
has past we have all been much favoured in this respect. But maney of the
poor Indians have gone to their long home and maney have suffered severly
from sickness and other ways. Maney missionaries no doubt and eminent and
useful servents of God have been calld hence to be here no more, while we
have been favoured with blessings without number. Shurely our Souls should
magnify the Lord for all his tender mercies and care. In the morning we
meet before day light to unite in prayer for Gods blessing on us and his
favours to be con-
[Jan 3, 1842 Page 4]
tinued
through the comeing year; and at four oclock we meet again for the same
purpose. But moste part of the day was spent in assisting Mr. Reaves to put
up a stable for Mr. Gillmore
Monday 3rd.
On yesterday
we had two meetings at our house and spent some time among the Indians who
ware camped near us. one old man seems to be near his grave. We spent moste
of the time in trying to talk and pray with him we ware embaresed with our
present interpreter who seems to be verry imperfect both in English and
Indian. The old man [Corger] (a chef) showed some desire of knowing a
better way than the one which he had pursued. But he showed wonderful
ignorence and some bigoty in his own views. Today he sent up word that he
wished us to go and see him and prey for him at least 3 or 4 days. Today
Mr. H.
[Jan 4, 1842 Page 5]
and visited him and found
him some better to all appearences. He told us that he had seen the spirit
of some friend which had long since died. This is a verry prevailing notion
among them they suppose that the spirits of their friends return to invite
them to the other world and purhaps escort them to the place of their
future abode. Mr. H. sung and preyed with him, and he seemed to receive it
verry well We spent some time in searching after some timber to make boards
Day dandy but moderate looks some like snow.
Tusday 4th.
Spent some part of the day visiting the Indians and some in cuting
two clapboard trees. In the afternoon I went down to near Woolf River to
look for some stone that would be suitable for a foundation to the intended
building. Maney strong temptations about the world and the [tings] of
disposed much
[Jan 5, 1842 Page 6]
to try to secure
a large portion of it. It is vain trash and I know it and withall I find a
strong disposition to reach after it, greatly to my sin shame and
condemnation Day nearly totally clear but quite could wind West evening
south -------
Wedensday 5
As I was about going to
work Mr. Richardson came to have me asist him in makeing out some accounts
to send on to St. Louis, and in this way I spent nearly all the day. In the
evening we meat Mr. Preston Richardsons for prayer meeting I felt some
couldness as usual. What a pity to be could on the way to heaven when thare
is so much life and warmth Day very moderate thawed considerable wind from
the South.
Saturday 8th.
Since the last date I have
been moste of the time assisting Maj. Richardson to arrange his accounts
and make out his quarterly report for the last year, and having company
[Jan 5, 1842 Page 7]
every evening I have neglected to
wriote. On wensday Mr. Ballard and Mr. Dixon came with some hogs to the
Indians and did not leave untill today The evening was spent with Mr.
Ballard and Mr. Dixon. But the subject of religion was but little on hands.
It is true, we worshiped regularly but that seems to be nearly all our
devotion
It is a thousand pities that travellers on the same
way can not talk more about the way the entertainment the trials the
prospects and such like of the way The Sacks recd near 50 hogs verry large
& fat. the design was to mak Bacon of it but they ware so folish that
they would like it all at once. It was impossible to prevail upon them to
change their course It is another mark of their degradation and folly. But
in relation to spiritual things they are much more [ineconomical] Poor
mortals seem to [XXXXX] swift towards destruction Weather quite moderate
& generally cloudy & gloomy
[Jan 10, 1842 Page 8]
Monday 10th.
on yesterday we meet in Mr. Hamiltons house
for meeting. and according to Mr. Hamilton request I set the exercises I
had some remarks prepared on the 30 chapter of Isaiah which I red. It was
but poor compared with what it ought to be and what I at all times to be
prepared to make extemporaneously. I am por and ignoreant and slow to
learn, dull of apprehension and willing to remain in the dark. Today I
commenced hueing Barn logs Mr. Clifton & Mr Oneall came over the River
to get some work and I emploid them a day or two to assist at the work They
are good bonds and having the help of Mr. Richardsons Black man got along
quite well Days fine moderate in day time
[Jan 14, 1842 Page
9]
Friday 14
Since the last date, I have been busily
emploid mostely for both night and day, Monday & tusday was spent in
hueing logs for the stable. The days since except this has been mostely
spent with the Agent in arrangeing his paper and makeing his last quarterly
report.
Last evening was spent later at the work and we ware
enabled to make a finish of all the busines nessary on the present report.
It is moste astonishing how the time is passing away Another week has
nearly gon by and not done much for [new] for the good of my Soul or the
glory of god I fear I am growing more and more worldly minded instead of
growing dead to world geting nearder to it Shame! Shame! All the days of
this week have been moste beautiful pleasant and comefortable
[Jan 15, 1842 Page 10]
Saturday 15
Spent moste of the forenoon in Mr. Hamiltons room, conversing on the
subject of our labours among the Indians, desirous of falling upon some
more efficient way of labouring among them particularly in regard to
teaching them letters and the subject of religion. Our [frailties] are poor
and we are purhaps more poor in improveing them Days and weeks are passing
away and but little doing one thing is clear, we find the Indians both are
drawing near to the great day of final accounts, for several nights
together our ears have been almoste constantly [selected] with the noise of
the Sax dancing Two Pawnees have lately came down and great [XXXXX] has
been made. [Dousing] has been nearly constantly kept up Many present has
been give &c. Day wonderful fine mild and warm, in
[Jan 17,
1842 Page 11]
the afternoon I choped some clapboard stuff and
went to visit old Mr. Plumb who has so long been to all appearences near
the point of death, he is some better
Monday 17
On
yesterday we had meeting at our room and though the day was favourable and
a number of people in reach of the meeting but few attended. It is a pity
to see so much carelessness in the minds and conduct of those who have such
immortal and important intersts at stake But no doubt their inactivity and
inattention is not by any means greater or as great as ours, in proportion
to the ability, profession and oppertunity of honouring god and doing good
to souls. Day very fine day and warm Today I as sent for to the Agent to
aid him in some accounts which he is making out for goverment. I went
soon
[Jan 18, 1842 Page 12]
morning and returned
about noon and went back in the evening About 3 oclock the whole company of
Chefs braves and principle men of the Ioway nation came to the agent to
make him a visit and it fell upon me to interpret they behaved quite well
and ware as [formal] and orderly in council as I have ever seen. Day
remarkable fine warm clear & dry
Tusday 18
Continued to aid the Agent in writing and a large portion of the day was
taken up with a council with the Ioways in which I had to act as
interpreter I succeeded much beyond my own expectation, and was to the
satisfaction of both parties than I thought would be in my power This day
was remarkable high wind from the South and almoste as warm as summer.
Wedensday 19
Commenced to hue timber but the day was so
severe that we did not
[Jan 20, 1842 Page 13]
not
continue longer than to the midle of the day. In the afternoon I was in the
house moste of the day. This is a wonderful contrast to yesterday about
midnight last night it commenced to thunder and rain some. Before day it
[thunder] [XXXXX] [how] and in the morning the grove was covered with snow
and the rain which had fallen was all turned to ice the wind and snow came
strong from the north and is now severly could.
Thursday
20th.
Was under the necessity of going to the Agents with one of
the chiefs on some businss. In the day I hauled some wood and choped some
also. spent what time I could in writing reading &c Day cold but clear
& fine
Friday 21st.
Worked all day hard at
hauling stone for the foundation of the stable had the gilmors oxen and
hauled only two [tons] from
[Jan 22, 1842 Page 14]
woolf River. the day was severly cold on the prairie but clear and
beautiful
Saturday 22nd.
Attended to busines for the
Agent moste part of the day went with him to see old plums (Ioway Chef)
who is near to the point of death. Poor old man is near to the other world
and surely his prospects are very dark His mind is nearly gone and he
cannot seem to comprehend what is said Day fine moderate & clear
Monday 24th.
On yesterday we went down at the usual time
to plums to hold meeting. As soon as we went in we saw it evident that the
old man was near his last. He was utterly insensible of all that was
passing. We proceeded to have meeting which was attended with the usual
difficulty in want of a good Interpreter. About the close of the meeting
the old man breathed his last a loud lamentation was soon commenced
[Jan 22, 1842 Page 15]
by all the friends present. On of
the old woman his wife (for he had two wives) came towards Mr. H and I and
causeing her hands placed one on each of our heads and said helpe me I am a
poor widow or to this amount. These two old woman (one of whom was entirely
blind attended him carefully though all his illness. I cannot think that I
have ever seen more tenderness exhibited in the moste tender relations of
sivilization. They wished something to wrap him in and expresed a desire
that we should aid in his interment and adopt our manner of burying. Today
we commenced at this as early as possible. made a coffin out of clapboards
dug a shallow grave and in part buryed him in their own way. This took
moste of the day. In the evening I went out to the agent and spent part of
the evening - Both days ware very fine night could but days clear and
moderate.
[Jan 25, 1842 Page16]
Tusday 25
In the forenoon assisted in making a bridge over the creek between us and
the chiefs houses. In the afternoon sawed some clapboard stuff and choped
down wood. In the evening wrote apart of a letter to the Board of directors
of our mission suffer from time to time sever trials and temptations about
worldly maters May the Lord pity me and draw me away from all that is
offencive and to what is good Day very fine moderate and clear
Wedensday 26
In the forenoon we all went to work at and finish
the new bridge on to the way to the chefs houses, we finished a very fine
bridge indeed which will afford the Indians a fine example of good bridge
building In the afternoon I wrote some and red considerable. In the
evening meet at Mr. Hamiltons. Day fine very warm
Thursday
27
Assisted the Agent in his busines near all day writing
&c. Day wonderful fine wind strong from the South.
[Jan
28, 1842 Page 17]
Friday 28
Some time ago Father had
bought a yoke of oxen for the Ioway Indians and had left them on the other
side of the River. Several attempts has been made to bring them over but
all have [XXXXX] to failed, and they are still thare on expense. It was
thought that I go down today having an opertunity for company and bring
them up together with some flour which was at the river. The Agent was
going to Robedeaux and we started early together. We reached the ferry at
one or two oclock The Agent went on & I stoped to take over the flour
&c. I found the cattle ware gon from the place and, so that I could not
do anything at crossing them today, we crosed the flour, and encamped on
this bank. we had quite as comefortable a night as could be expected in
january at a camp without a shelter but few bed clothes, and scarce of
[victels.] We had a little meat and flour, and one pan was all the vessel
of any sort which we had It was difficult to cook but we enjoid ourselves
quite well.
[Jan 29, 1842 Page 18]
Saturday 29
Before day the wagon with flour started on before day & I
waited untill daylight to hire if anything was known of the oxen. At day
word came that the [Oxen] had came up last night, and so it was necessary
that an attempt be made at crossing them. Our craft was a loos platform
laid on two canoes without pening or a hard rail. One of the oxen we got on
after some difficulty and with great care we succeeded in geting him over.
We then got the other on but he was restless, and after going a little
distance he run round on one side of the platform and sunk one of the
canoes plunged in to the water and made for shore. In the scuffle he puld
me off too. I fell in the water, and first I tried to reach the botom but
could not touch I was then compeld to swim to shore, which took me some
time atleast longer that I was desireous of being in the water at that
temprature. I had all my heavy clothes on but was able to swim quite
easily. Thare was below me a quantity of drift snags &c which I feared
I would be [drin] into but I reached the shore in good time I immediately
ran to a house which was but
[Jan 30, 1842 Page 19]
a
short distance off, and dried myself as well as I could whilst they repard
the platform took breakfast and &c. we afterwards succeeded in swiming
him by the side of the platform I then started homeward which I reached a
little after sun set. Gods mercis are at all times clearly manifast, but up
on this occasion verry conspicuous. Had I been thrown out in the midle of
the stream I could not have reached the shore without having been moste
severely child, and moste likly lost, and in how many ways might I, even
near as I was to the shore have been alarmed, strangled, entangled in my
clothes, struck on a [XXXXX] thrown under drift or in some way been drowned
or distrod. May I live to the honour and servis of that God who has in such
a special manner made my life his care.
The two days have been
exceedingly fine clear and warm wind from the South, and gentle fresing at
night.
Monday 31st.
On yesterday we went to nohats
lodge and had some religious exercises. Chancy was our only Interpreter,
while thare Mr. Hamilton took quite sick and in the afternoon was not able
[Feb 1, 1842 Page 20]
to attend our meeting. It fell
to me to conduct the meeting. I made more than an hours remarks on the 10
chp of mark. thare was a number present who behaved well and gave
respectful attention.
Today I did some busines for the Agent,
and hued some logs, together with writing a letter, containing some facts
in relation to the death and interment of Plum. Days continue verry
fine
Tusday Feb. 1st.
William, Maj. Richardsons Black
man is very sick, part of the day was spent in attending on him hueing some
logs and &c
Wedensday 2nd
Spent the day in hueing
for the Stable. Mr. Pierce came in the morning to assist me in choping but
about 8 oclock Maj Richardson sent to have him go for the doctor to see a
negrow man who was verry sick, so that I was left alone except what aid
father gave me which was not much
[Feb 3, 1842 Page 21]
he being absent a part of the day at the Agents. In the evening we
had prayer meeting at Mr. P. Richardsons But it was rather cool to me and I
suppose from appearnce it was the same to moste present. It is a pity a
great pity that it should be thus may God forgive and to his great name be
all the praise Day very warm Geese pased near to our house today on their
way north.
Thirsday 3rd
This day was spent rather
idilly and very undesireably. On yesterday Dr. Smith was sent for to see
[Wm] Richardsons black man, and it was expected that he would [XXXXX] the
man today by 12 oclock I went to meet him and assist him to the mission and
Agency. I went early to be in time and spent all the day excep what I
[XXXXX] on the [bout] some exposed and uncomefortable. before sunset word
came that he (the doctor) was gone home and I had to return home as I
went
[Feb 4, 1842 Page 22]
From my exposure and the
want of food I had a severe headake and was quite unwell But since rest and
supper I feel much better thanks be to the giver of all good things His
mercis never fail and his tender mercis are over all his works. Day
moderate and wind changeable.
Friday 4
Spent part of
the day among the Indians and a part at Mr. Richardsons with Mrs. Irvin and
seeing the sick. Wm is Better But jackson the quapaw Indian is [now[ very
bad indeed today he is now much worse than ever. This evening I was quite
unwell pain in my hed and [XXXXX] stomach Day fine
Saturday
5th.
Spent part of the day in hueing logs for my stable and part
of the day was at the Agents and with Mr. Hamilton among
[Feb 7,
1842 Page 23]
the Indians. We went just to the Ioway encampment
and then to the Sacs, where they ware busily engaged in playing what is
calld the Mockison game. They displayed much earnestness and great
enthusiasm the game agitateing their bodies and extending their voices to
the utmost. They ware painted and dresed in a great variety of forms, and
made many strange appearences. The day was moderate and the house quite
warm so that they swet [farely] in their exertions. It is wonderful what
interest they take in this which to us appears the height of nonesense. The
poor Indians seem wonderfully contented with their old way of living. The
prejudices strong and hard to overcome. The improvement seems to be but
slow if inded they advance attall. Day quite warm wind South.
Monday 6th
On yesterday we meet at Mr Hamiltons and he
preached a well
[Feb 8, 1842 Page 24]
digested
Sermon, and In the evening we meet at the same place for monthly consort.
In the day I felt very cold and lifeless, but in the evening I had more
earnestness and freedom at a throne of grace than usual. It is touching to
think of so many millions of heathen sunk in darkness, and especially so
maney immediately around us who are so careless and unconsearned about
their everlasting interests Today I hued some timber, and not being very
well I spent a part of the day in the house Yesterday was about as [XXXXX]
as usual, but today is much colder than has been for some time inded this
evening may be said to be verry cold.
Tusday 8th.
Father and I sawed with the croscut some Clapboard timber
[Feb
9, 1842 Page 25]
in the forenoon, and in the evening being verry
tired I rested some part of the time and had a long conversation with
Jeffry [Deraury] who spent the evening with us, it was however not the most
profitable, he being a great talker and not a very inteligent man. Day
sharply cold and clear.
Wedensday 9th.
In the
morning went with Mr. Hamilton to the agents to see a sick man and being
pleased with the agents company we staid untill about noon. In the
afternoon I [Botled] up some clapboard stuff and am now quite tired. Day
Beautiful warm clear & wind South
[Feb 10, 1842 Page 26]
Thursday 10th.
In the morning went to see Jackson who
was sick at the agents. I commenced today to split clapboards for the
stable but having much to take my time and attention I got only little more
than 100 split. In the evening I felt some unwell and quite humble, saw
much the vanity of earthly things, and a strong desire to be more free from
these things which ware so incumbersome to the soul. Day warm and
cloudy
Friday 11
moste of the day was spent with
father and Mr. Hamilton trying to make some arrangements about father doing
or having
[Feb 12, 1842 Page 27]
done our farming. We
also are thinking of lowering our salaries to 300, it being formerly 400.
If our farming and such expences are taken off we ought to live on less I
have some head ake and some unwell my calculations may with myself ere long
be [prostreaited] in the dust But oh to have a resting place in the
heavens--. Day cloudy some snow fell and frose a little.
Saturday 12
Part of the Day was spent in spliting clapboards
and a part in the day in reading and striveing to prepare for the Sacred
Sabath approaching Day very fine rather cool very clear
[Feb
14, 1842 Page 28]
Monday 14
On
yesterday we went to the camps a short distance below to hold meeting. The
few who attended seemed to show more of an enquireing disposition than is
common. It is common for them to give their assent to what is said wheather
they understand what is said or not. Their enquiries are at times amuseing.
Today one enquired wheather, if some good Ioway should get nearly up to
heaven, if thare was any danger of [Plum] falling back again. It was also
asked who put the wood on the big fire in hell They show great ignorence
but it is pleaseing to see them enquire. In the evening we had preaching in
our room from Timothy by Mr. Hamilton. Moste of this day was spent in
spliting and hauling some clapboard stuff Tdays ware both remarkable fine
indeed the weather is serprseing fine none such.
[Feb 15, 1842
Page 29]
Tusday 15 Feb.
It was my intention to go up
to one of the chefs houses to assist a young man in making something like a
wagon to haul wood and such things on This is one of the moste persevereing
young men on the Ioway nation, and we think if he is properly encouraged,
and some inducements put before him he will soon be able to surmount the
prejudices which are so deeply [XXXXX] and [XXXXX] with the nature of these
heathen. But the day turned out very sormy snowing and blowing and I did
not go. Assisted in puting a Botom in a chair and fixed some acounts with
Mr. Hamilton and aided him in measuring off a lot of ground for pasture
Day [brisy] snowy and not much cold
Feb 16, 1842 Page 30]
Wedensday 16
Soon in the morning went up to old pumpkins
to assist his sun in law in makeing a sled. I was surprised to find that he
had got out quite a good set of runners, and had sawed off four blocks to
make a wagon He shows quite a jenesous and willingness to work. we took the
runners home and promised to assist him in finishing it In the evening we
had meeting at Mr. Richardsons Mr. Hamilton was not present and I tried to
conduct the meeting, talked sometime from the 7th chapter of Math. Had some
liberty in prayer. yet the congregation showed but little affected with
what was said. It is not fit I am so unworthe that I should see any good
resuling from what I might say Day could wind [XXXXX]
[Feb 17,
1842 Page 31]
Thursday 17th.
In the morning Choped
some wood and in the afternoon split some Boards the ressidue of the time
was spent in reading and Study In the evening a number of young Ioways
drest and painted in good stile come rideing up, on their way to the
vilage. They ware the Souldiers who ware appointed sometime ago to keep
order and chastise the first one who would get drunk we understood that
they had flogged one or two we hope the affect may be good but I fear it
will not continue Morning cool and high wind east afternoon warm wind
south
Friday 18th.
This morning about 3 oclock Mr.
[Richeti] came to our door with an express from Maj. Richardson requesting
that I and Mr. Campbell would appear in weston this evening at 4 oclock
[Feb 19, 1842 Page 32]
He had taken a man who had stolen
an Ioway horse and wished our testamony to convict him of the theft. The
distance is about 55 miles and the time verry short. The morning was so
dark that we could not see to travel untill brake of day. as soon as we
could see we started rode very hard, crosed the Missouri at Roubedeaux left
our horses on this side got fresh horses and went on and reached weston a
little before sun set. It was moste a sever days wride we got there in time
to give in our testamony and made all possible preparations for an early
start homewards in the morning. Day generally clear but cool and wind
north.
Friday 19th.
Started as soon in the morning as
we could get a little refreshment, travelled hard and reached Rubedeaux
about 3 oclock. as soon as we could get a little [XXXXX] we started across
the river which we found very difficult on account of the ice. got about 6
miles
[Feb 21, 1842 Page 33]
before the sun set and
came the rest of the way after night. I was exceedingly tired and [no
morsel.] I had traveled about 110 miles in two days. I could scarcely walk
But was [XXXXX] with good health. God is wonderful kind but I am still
ungrateful miserable Blind and naked How my heart ought to swell to God for
his tender mercis and loving kindnesses may I Oh God grow in grace
propertion to my opprtunitis Day cloudy and quite could but calm
Monday 21st.
On yesterday I was so tired that I didinot feel
able to walk to the Ioway camps to meeting with the Indians I was
unussually fatigued At 2 oclock we meet at Mr. Hamiltons for preaching Day
moderate Today the moste labour that I did was split some clapboards, and
spend some time at preston richardsons. I am much rested and now feel quite
well Day warm and mostely clear
[Feb 22, 1842 Page 34]
Tusday 22
Spent part of the day in spliting
boards and the rest in study and writing Emploid Monwell to Chop me some
wood and we are begining to feal some anxiety about the Agent who has been
absent several day beyond the time he should have been at home Day very
fine moderat.
Wedensday 23rd.
This morning Father, Mr
Pierce and some of the Agents family started down to Mr. Sollarses to get
some meal and flour which had been left thare for us and them at this
place. Soon after they started Jeffrey Doraway came to our house to have me
go over the river with him to assist him in selling his claim of land. I
went and spent near all the day As I come back I meet a number of
[Feb 22, 1842 Page 35]
Ioways and Sacks going over for whisky
The Ioways have for some time past suspended their drinking. They made a
law some time ago that the first one who would get drunk within 20 days
should be whiped by proper persons who ware appointed from among their own
Braves for that purpose. The time has now expired and they are now to have
permission to drink 3 days. They then contemplate suspending all drinking
for 30 days and after that for 40 days &c. untill the miserable busines
will be ended. This if persevered in may do something we moste sincerely
hope it will. Day moderate quite warm warm wind from the south. In the
evening we went to Mr. Hamiltons to meeting but he was not at home having
went out to the Agents to try to assist in stoping
[Feb 24,
1842 Page 36]
the bleading of a wound Jackson A Quapaw Indian
who has been [working] at the Agents unfortunately cut his foot this
morning and it still Bleads. I went out to see what detained him but found
they had succeeded in stoping the Blood. When we got home it was so late
that we had But family worship together Day fine wind south dry and
warm
Thirsday 24
Went according to promises to assist
Mr. Campell to raise ahouse But he not being fully ready we put it off. And
I spent moste of the day that remained in spliting Clapboards In the
evening Father came home having left the wagons several miles behind. Day
exceeding warm high wind from the South ground thawing geese flying Days
clear nights slight frost.
[Feb 25, 1842 Page 37]
Friday 25
Spent this day mostely in spliting clapboards.
Jeffry Doraway come in the afternoon and spent some time in chat supper and
spent a part of the evening at Mr Hamiltons. In the evening father and Mr
Pierce came home from the River with some flour and meal Late and very
sleepy Day very cloudy and appars much like rain. In the evening some snow
fell
Saturday 26th.
In the morning went to see if Mr
Campbell intend to raise, did not. I went then to assist father in
grindeing the axes. In the evening was sent for to go and Blead the Agent
who has just returned and is quite ill Morning gloomy afternoon warm &
clear
[Feb 28, 1842 Page 38]
Monday
28
On yesterday we went with nancy down to the Indian camps, and
got a few men together who gave rather better attention than is usual. They
showed some disposition to enquire when they did not understand. They
usually give their assent wheather they understand or no, but today when
anything was spoken if it was not well understood they would immediately
enquire which is very encourageing. In the afternoon had preaching in our
room. spent the evening in reading [hunted] and the usual time spent in
[XXXXX] the children Day very warm [XXXXX] and some dandy after night
some thunder and rain
Today I spent moste of the time at the
agents at a council with the Indians Day warm and mostely cloudy.
Tusday March 1st.
Assisted Mr. Campell in puteing up a
dwelling house. He is a trader that has been among the
[Mar 1,
1842 Page 39]
Indians for more than 20 years. He has scoured
much of the region west of the mountains particularly towards California He
describes that county as being verry poor. unfruitful sandy and mostly
Barren furnishing but little vegetation and consequently but few animals,
scarcely anything but rabits are found thare. He also states that thare are
immence groves of white pine in the valeys of the R. Mountains. May we not
easily imagine in these days of enterprise and improvement, the day to be
near at hand when this lumber shall be driven like the wind over these
planes with [steem] cars and the west rending habitable from this now
appearently Barren and nearly unexplored regions Day very soft and warm
but Cloudy The froste appears to be comeing very fast out of the ground
[Mar 2, 1842 Page 30]
Wedensday 2nd.
The
moste work that I done a [XXXXX for the stable I am about building In the
evening was compeld to go and work hard to stop fire in the prairie which
was about our fences. After dark we ware on our way to meeting at the
Agency and had to stop again and extinguish the fire which was at the loss
of considerable swet. Day warm and some cloudy wind south.
Thirsday 3
Split Clapboards [XXXXX[ and on examination it was
found that the green flies ware threatening our meet I took it down and put
it away. It is wonderful how abundent the flies are at this season of the
year The day
[Mar 4, 1842 Page 31]
was nearly as
warm as in june and a high wind from the South
Friday 4th.
Spent some part of the day in conversation with a young man who has
come to our station, who has it in contemplation to go alone among the
pawnees with a view of trying to instil the gosple among them. He
contemplates going entirely alone and upon his own resources, without much
education and in poor health. It seems one of the strongest enterprises
that I have every seen or heard off. Mr. H. and I have done what we could
to give him correct information and disswade him from his strong and novel
plan. split some Boards and in the evening went with some of the [XXXXX[ to
the agents to interpret some for them saw Miss Richardson the Agents
[XXXXX[ who has just come [town[, day cloudy and cool
[Mar 5,
1842 Page 32]
Saturday 5th.
What labour was done to
day was at puteing up eve troughs to the house and smokehouse mainly for
the purpose of collecting rain water for washing Our spring water is hard
to wash with and to make soap and it is the part of wisdom to collect as
much water in this way as possible. Time flies on rapid wings Another week
is gone by and has left but little of anything behind it for me and the
reason is because I have not made the best use of my time that I ought. I
believe that I am getting more and lazey, and indolent in doing those
things that I ought. I am wonderfully anoid with temptations of various
kinds like [XXX[olly] temptations of a worldly nature They seem to have
wonderful success in my mind. May the Lord rid me More and more from them.
Day cloudy and cool - Some snow fell.
[Mar 7, 1842 Page 33]
Monday 7th.
On yesterday I stayd at home
and Mr. Hamilton and Father went to meeting with the Indians, but had poor
success. They ware disposed to laugh and make sport particularly of Nancy
our interpreter, they did so bad that she became discouraged and would not
or rather could not interpret. In the afternoon we had preaching at Mr.
Hamiltons and in the evening meet for monthly consort. I had more freedom
and enjoyment in prayer than is usual I would bless and magnify the Lord
for this and all his tender mercies. Today. What work I did was hueing
Today the Ioways came up to dance for the Agent, and asked permission to
dance at our house but I told them that I
[Mar 8, 1842 Page
34]
did not wish it, but would give them some potatoes if they
would pass us by, they readily agree to it and so with but little delay
passed on Both days Beautiful and nearly clear. Especially today. Night
before last some snow fell but soon disappeared.
Tusday 8th.
Assisted Battess Roy to raise a house and hands being scarce we
ware under the necessity of working verry hard harder than was ought. When
I came home I was verry tired and lay dow a spell to rest. I found that I
had taken something like a cold and was sore all over towards Supper I was
taken with a fit of the hiccougs. which continued with more or less
violence until bed time. I became quite horse and felt more and more
unwell. My lesure hours was taken up with reading the life of Brainerd
Excellent memoix oth that thare ware many more such Day warm very high S.
wind
[Mar 9, 1842 Page 35]
Wedensday
9th.
Was quite ill all day. did but little but read and study
all day and in fact did but little at that. I think that I hurt myself on
yesterday at the rasing and last evening I took some medacine but did not
do much good. I have had many serous thoughts about our mission. It seems
to move along so lowly if inded it goes along at tall. Is it not going
Back? Is thare not more consearn about the world than about the Indians? I
fear that the great day will confound maney, if sins are not repented off
Day cool and high wind in the south
Thirsday 10
Spent the day in the house. felt considerable deadness to the word. Saw
something of the vanity of earthly things and the sinfulness of striggling
after them Day cool and cloudy wind north.
[Mar 11, 1842 Page
36]
Friday 11th.
Worked hard all day at hueing
&c. in preparation for building my new stable. I am heartily tired of
labour and the bustle of the world. I hope the time is not far off when I
can devote my time more fully to my work. Having the hands in the word
tends strongly I find to lead the mind thare too. Day clear generally but
cold and something of a circle wind the [XXXXX] It is now coulder than some
part of january
Saturday 12th.
Spent all this day in
hard labour at the foundation of my barn was extremely tired. Some pain in
my brest feverish and quite unwell. I am no doubt making improvements for
the benefit of some othrse Day fine clear but rather cool
[Mar
13, 1842 Page 37]
Sabath 13th
Mr. H. and I went with
nancy to the Indian encampment, could not get maney together and those who
ware present soon got weary of the exercises and went away and even those
who remained seemed to have but an imperfect understanding of what was
sade. It will surely be a long time at this rate before the por Ioways can
be brought in to a knowledge of sacred things. They are emfatically slow to
learn. In the evening we had preaching at our house a goodly number
attended and gave good attention It is pleasing to have some whites attend
and show some interest in religious things All souls are of vast importance
in the sight of god and the least consearn is encourageing in this respect.
Today I was quite unwell and [stray] symptoms of my old [XXXXX]
complaint
[Mar 14, 1842 Page 38]
God has for a long
time given me an unusual amount of good health. But it has been shamefully
improved. I wraped myself too much in the world and its consearns and in
this way [XXXXX] my tallent in the earth Or I am like a barren fig tree,
and I have great and good reason to fear that the sentance may soon go out
against me as it did against it. I may soon wither away the Axe may be
already lade at the root of the tree. I bless god for afflictions or
anything which may tend to humble me and bring me to my right mind. I
cannot expect to be here verry long time is carreying me along with
amaseing rapidity. Oh that I may improve the precious time as it goes by.
Day cloudy and some moderate.
Monday 14
This morning
Father started to
[Mar 15, 1842 Page 39]
the river
for some flour which is to be thare for us. I spent some of the morning
with the Agent and notched down some logs on my building. In the evening
assisted Mr. Preston Richardson to lay out his field for the sac farm Day
moste beautiful warm and clear
Tusday 15th
Continued
to work at the Barn In the evening Father came home with five barrels of
flour. I am wonderfully favoured with easy supplies of provisions
especially this winter and fall. I ought to be more entirely devoted to the
[XXXXX] of that being who so richly provides for my wants The day was warm
and beautiful beyond discription
Wedensday 16th.
Laboured as much as I was able at the Stable. But from a pain in my
breast and other inability I was not able to accomplish much
[Mar 17, 1842 Page 40]
The pain in my Breast seems to be
increasing should it grow much worse I cannot do much if aney thy thing
atall. I think thare in my case strong Symptoms of consumption and it may
have a much deeper hold than I am aware. I have been long consearned about
my Building purphaps more than I ought. The house which is in readinss in
the heavens does not consearn me as much as I ought. But I am hurried aloud
in the noise and hurry of businss and doubtless before I am aware will be
at my journeys end How poor and [Blesd] is erring man. Improveing him as if
he was to remain here forever. Day moste beautiful clear and warm &
wind
Thursday 17th.
Spent moste of the day in
workeing on the building which I am about puteing up. It is wonderful how
my time runs to waste And Oh ``my sins how great
[Mar 18, 1842
Page 41]
their sum. But I bless god and would take encouragement
that I have any sight of my condition befor god. God is all merciful all
wise and good. Day fine beyond discription.
Friday 18th.
Spent this day in reding up the rooms and in making preparations
for father and mother for living by themselves. Our family is so large that
we have thought best to separate, but it may be that we will go together
again before long. One thing is gratifying we will be very near, nearly the
same as one family. Today and especially this evening I have suffered very
much with a pain in my brest. strong symptoms of my old Brest complant. God
for some time past has give me a great amount of good health more than I
have had for a long time together, and it has been poorly employed may the
Lord forgive and enable me to reform Day very fine as warm as august. It
is oppressive [indeed] [geese] and frogs are hollering loud.
[Mar 19, 1842 Page 42]
Saturday 19th.
What work I
did today was at the Barn. I am growing exceedingly tired of this work. I
wish moste severely that it was all over. Had I known the labour that was
necessary I doubt that I would have undertaken it. My time is so fast
runing to waste that I know not what to do. I fear my little thread will be
spun before I am aware and I will not be ready for leaving this for another
world My God in infinite mercy pity and pardon me for all my transgrations
and sins Another week is at a close. Its closings are recorded and the
reccord cannot be revoked What is rong must if not repented of remain
untill the final day when all things will be clearly infolded. and ever
doing receive the just recompense of reward. My Brest is still panful. I
cannot see that it is much if any better It seems deep seated
[Mar 19, 1842 Page 43]
and may thare gnaw like a canker until
my life is Spent. May I make a wise improvement of time. I never was so
comefortabilly situated for retirement and meditation. I have a room
entirely to myself where thare is no noise nor distubence In which I have a
nice little libray of more than a 100 volums of fine matter. I hope that
the consearn of my farming and secular busins will soon be taken off my
hand, and I cannot see what will hinder me form making a profitable use of
my precious time. My family do not use the room in which I study and
consequently I am not by them disturbed. But I must remember I must not
live too much secluded. I owe duties to them above all others and a
faithful discharge of these duties or will calculate to fit me for, and
encourage me in other duties which I owe. Day wonderful fine very warm
strong south wind [&c]
[Mar 21, 1842 Page 44]
Monday 21st.
Time will not allow me to write much.
On yesterday I remained at home Father and Mr. Hamilton went to the vilage
but had not much success. We had preaching at Mr. Hamiltons in the
afternoon Day very warm & dry. In the evening some apparences of rain
at a distance
Today I worked anearly all day at the Building
Day very fine but a little cool.
Tusday 22
Worked all
day at my stable and as usual it is late and I am verry tird. I find my
mind wonderfully engrosed about my worldly matters. It seems that the heart
is affected with what the hands handle. It is wonderfully sow in the
present case. My improvements come into my mind on all occasions especially
when I would pray
[Mar 23, 1842 Page 45]
or think of
anything serious. Some new plan or calculation will spring up in my mind
and present itself as being far superous to all others and it then would
urge the necessity of being investigated and I fool away much of my
precious time, in planing and replaning things which but illy becomes my
profession. I still however look for better times a time not far distent
when I will give all this up into other hands and be enabled to devote more
of my time to that which is my abundent duty which may God grant and to his
name be the praise Day very fine extremely warm for the time in the year a
rain and thunder cloud pased near but we recd none
Wedensday
23rd.
Raised my stable or rather Barn today. had a number of
hands probably 15 Worked quite hard, and in the evening was quite
[Mar 24, 1842 Page 46]
worne out. suffered much from a pain
in my Breast and Back. So much so that I cannot rest well. Day very
fine
Thusday 24th.
Done what I was able at my Barn
commenced to put on the roof But the Wind blew so high that I could not do
much. I think I never saw a day of higher wind Trees were thrown down in
all directions. The fire got into the timber near us and I was affrad that
our Buildings would be distroyed. It took the moste vigilent care on our
part to prevent it Every thing seems perfectly dry and we are in great
danger But God mercifilly preserved us and suffered ``no harm to come near
our dwelling'' How merciful is his hand and how watchful is his eye nothing
can escape his notise. How fine is the
[Mar 27, 1842 Page 47]
foundation of the Christian? Those whom God protects is
abundently safe. It is a moste happy thought to be under the protection of
such a being But dreadful to be under his frowns Day Dry but moste
wonderful windy from the south and west.
Friday 25th.
Continued to work as I was able at the [covery] of the house. severe pain
in my breast and Back. My live must be affected I pray God that it may work
in me the peaseable frutes of righteousness Day very fine dry and warm.
Saturday 26
Was so unwell that I didnot pretend atall to
work The pain my my brest and Back is increasing. I went on some busines to
the Agents went to see the new Ioway vilage spent some time in walking and
meditation but the
[Mar 31, 1842 Page 48]
Devul is
wonderful busy puting vain and worldly thoughts in to my mind, though I am
walking on the verge of the grave and may in a day or two fall in. still he
would make me think much about the world, [now] more foolish in deed May I
be [more use]?. Day exceedingly fine
Thusday 31st.
Several things have prevented me from writing regularly in my diary. What
labour I have done since the last date has been at the Barn, and my study
reading and writing has been misselaneous. On Sabath Mr. Hamilton didnot go
to the vilage Mrs H. being ill I went with nancy and Mother. We had but
few. but the few gave as good attention as usual. After I had talked some
time one enquired if I was amoste done, saying that he was in a hurry that
a number of them ware agoing to hunt.
[Mar 31, 1842 Page 49]
and they wished to be off soon. On my way I saw at some distance a
french man makeing rails for one of the french traders who is settled near.
I was two far away to speak with him It is wonderful how the sabath is
disregarded by these and many other classes of people How can we induch the
Indians to understand the importance of such an observation while these
things are practiced so extensively under the eyes The people seems to be
give up to [momman].
[Apr 1, 1842 Page 50]
Friday
April 1st. 1842
Wrought some at the Barn took or had taken up a
number of potatoes &c. Was much wrought in mind about the improvements
I am makeing and the conveniences which I am geting about me. They are I
think too good I am no doubt takeing too much panes about these things in a
sinful manner neglecting things of greatter importence, indeed sometimes to
leave all and go where my temporal enjoyments will be less may spiritual
enjoyments more But without prayer zeal and selfdenial these things are not
at all attaneble. The weather is moste remarkable for heat and drouth.
This day is very warm and dry with strong south wind. which is but common
[Apr 2, 1842 Page 51]
April 2nd Saturday
Spent part of the day in work at the stable. and aided Mr. H. in laying
out his field. I think that my labour for the comeing summer is nearly at a
close. in fact it must be. I see much that ought to be done and seems to
require being done immediately. But it will not do. I have already spent
too much time and the Devil would perswade me to spend all in this way. but
it will not do. The more I fix and do in this world the less preparations I
will have for the next and the more attached to this and hense I conclude
that it is better to be more free from this and deeper interrested in the
next. which may God grant. for I find that of my self I can do nothing. my
resolutions will fail This morning we had a fine shower the first of any
account this spring. day cloudy and appearence of more rain
[Apr 11, 1842 Page 52]
April 11th. Monday
Since
the last date I have been prevented from writing regularly in my diary The
forepart of last week was spent in working what leisure time I had at the
stable. On wedensday morning I started to the platt country on some busines
and partly to see my particular friend Dr. Smith who Live in Buchanan Co.
On wedensday evening I reached Mr. Ballards and spent a pleasant evening
soon after I crossed the Missouri River I was overtaken with a severe rain
which continued almost untill sun set and rendered the travelling quite
tedious and slavish I reached my friend Mr. Ballards house alittle before
sun set and was well recd and entertained through the night. We didnot go
to rest soon having been separatd for a long time and much talking to do
The day following I went to Mr. Dixons
[Apr 11, 1842 Page 53]
Mill and store where I had some business and where I took
breakfast. Mr. Gillmore was sick and I visited him. He was verry low and
was anxious that I should remain with him but my businss was urgent and I
went back to Mr Ballards, and what was some singular while I was thare Mr.
Dixons wife (who is Mr. Ballards adopted daughter and who was there staying
& was delivered of a very fine sun. I started soon as possible on my
way made about 8 miles and stoped with my kind friend Capt. Hanson. The
day following I [XXXXX[ on stoped at Savannah for dinner [precured] some
goods and reach my Dear friends Dr. Smith. The day following (Saturday) I
started early for home by the point, left my horse at Mr. Hans and with
about 3 hours labour Succeded in crossing the Missouri in a canoe and got
home.
[Apr 11, 1842 Page 54]
The Sabath we went to
the vilage but meet with but a poor reception. They ware not disposed to
here and much inclined to find fault. Said we ware the means of killing the
children &c. &c. We had in fact no meeting. Came away cast down and
discouraged. But God works in his own ways we may meet with shock
opposition before much is done. Today I went to see the Indians with a view
of commencing to teach, but father Being sick I had to do a little for him
on the farm. There seems to be more than an ordinary coolness in the
Indians towards the missionaries But our ways are not Gods ways. ``He works
in a mysterious way his wonders to perform.'' Thare has not been any rain
since the last date Except what was notised in the first day The weather
is verry warm and
[Apr 12, 1842 Page 55]
vegetation
is comeing on verry fast. Things must be at least 2 weeks farther forward
than is usual at his season
Tusday 12th.
Soon after
breakfast this morning started to the vilage and found moste of the men
engaged in playing cards, the Children were mostely away and but little
oppertunity of having school and but little appeerent disposition on the
part of the people to have their Children tauguht. One old man told me that
I had better not go by [Hiwathoches] vilage. That [Moonkorackingas] child
was dead, and he had said that he would kill A whiteman, and he was affrade
that he might fall upon me. He said the Ioways ware dying off any how, and
he would kill [a] whiteman and then the Ioways would be kiled off quick
which would be verry good. Danger seems to stand around us But we would
trust the Lord Day cloudy but warm
[Apr 13, 1842 Page 56]
Wedensday 13
Went again to the vilage and to the chefs
houses, found some of the children at the chefs houses who ware verry
willing to be taught and who had not forgoten as much as I was affrade they
would through the Long winter. I assisted some in starting the plough at
whiteclouds furrow out some ground for them to plant potatoes on The show
rather an unusual disposition to work which is verry encourageing. In the
evening we went to meeting at Mr Richardsons. A number ware present. But I
was rather cool. Infact I must confess that this is two much my prevailing
feeling Day fine but rather Cool
Thusday 14
Contined my visits to the chiefs
[Apr 15, 1842 Page 57]
houses assisted them in plouging furing out planting &c. Taught
some and put up some fense. Industry must go hand in hand with the gosple
and hense it is importent to encourage every appearence of this sort. Day
cool a light sprinkle of rane
Friday 15
Went to the
chefs houses but ware told that many in the vilage ware drunk that one man
had been stabed in the back and he was dangerously wounded. Taught at the
houses but didnot go to the vilage Day fine cool wind [east]
Saturday 16
Went over the river on some busins. Was delayd at
the river and didnot find time to teach. Appearence of rain cool and wind
north.
[Apr 18, 1842 Page 58]
Monday 18th
On yesterday we went to the vilage Hiwathoches, and was favoured with
considerable of an audience, a goodly number came it men woman and children
and paid quite respectful attention at least we call it so, we are so used
to seeing misconduct that we have become harded under it, or unto it, and a
little attention seems very much. Had preaching at Mr Hamiltons in the
afternoon. Day fine Today I went to the vilage [collecte] a few schollars
but many of them had gone to their fields withe their parents and the
villages being divided it is difficult to get many at one place. Day very
fine, the weather is remarkable dry. The ground in a very dry state for
ploughing.
Tusday 19 Went to the village and
[Apr 20,
1842 Page 59]
as I came in view I saw one man who was evidently
drunk. He said he was from the other village, and that they ware very drunk
thare. I collected a few schollars but they soon disperced by the approach
of a drunken Indian I continued but a short time finding that many ware
drunk and more ware expected and while is this way but little can be done.
I went home and assisted in doing some work. Evening cool But days fine
clear and dry.
Wedensday 20th.
About eleven oclock
started to the vilage. meet two Boys in the woods who sade a lesson quite
well and ware verry attentive. Went on and was told by a friend that the
Ioways who had been on a visit to the Mississippi had
[Apr 20,
1842 Page 60]
returned, and ware near to the village and nearly
all ware drunk, and thought it was best for me to go home as I could not
teach any while they ware drunk and my heart would be sorry to see them Is
foolish I started and was son overtaken by some who ware going to the
village neardest to us. The second one who pased me, on seeing me seting
down by the way, gave out a yell and said he was angry that he was a brave
&c. and tried to sware in english. He whiped up his horse towards me
waveing his tomahawk round his head and repeating that he was a great
Brave. I thought it best to rise to my feet and be ready for him. When he
saw I showed no signs of fear he commenced to laugh and sade he was in
fun
[Apr 20, 1842 Page 61]
Had I shown any signs of
fear It would no doubt have been much worse for me I suppose he would have
run me to death if he could. I went on some distance farther and saw a
large no. more comeing on another way. I waited again until a number went
past, but was not interrupted by any of them though many of them ware on
the way drunk. It is moste afflicting to see the condition of those poor
creatures. They seem to rush headlong to destruction But God works in his
own way and we must be still. Had meeting at Mr. Hamiltons in the evening
had some freedom and earnestness in prayer and god seemed in some degred to
fill my mouth with arguments. Day warm clear and high South wind
[Apr 21, 1842 Page 62]
Thusday 21st.
On going to
the near vilage I found that moste of the Schollars ware gon with their
people to the fields and consequently got but few Schollars. I was
repeatedly told that at the other village they near all drunk and that at
the near village thare would soon be a quantity which would stop all
operations of the nature of teaching I soon took my way home Assisted some
in making a road to the village and [XXXXX] and I hauld several loads of
wood to our door and I spent some time in the Study Day verry warm and
high wind from the South.
Friday 22nd.
Found the
people of the vilage sober and was enable to collect a goodly number
together and teach. I went on towards the upper villag and when near I
heard the puffing of a steam Boat, and I thought it best to return and left
[Apr 23, 1842 Page 63]
Mrs Richardson know the fact
that if she though best she migh send up as the Agent was expected daily
and especially on the first Boat. I visited both as I went and come the
poor sick man who was stated a few days ago He is very Bad. I think
dangerous. It is solem to look at the poor Ignorent mortal perhaps on the
brink of the grave without hope. Before day this morning we had a fine
shower with heavy thunder day warm cloudy and appearence of rain
Saturday 23rd.
Today started soon to the vilage and for
accommodation to the farmer I concented to drive the oxe wagon with some
potatoes to be distributed among the people of the village. In the evening
I took a load of potatoes to neumongas village. when I went thare I found
that [Eurohocha]
[Apr 23, 1842 Page 64]
(the
unfortunate Ioway who was stabed a few days ago in a drunken revel) was
dead. Great Comentation was being made about his corpse. Just as we ware
comeing away a number of squaws and some men came from the other vilage to
wale for him. Thare was I think 9 or 10 of the squaws drunk and ware
makeing an outlandish and alarmeing noise. They appeared to be really sorry
but all was superficial and pretince Two had gon to dig a grave for him.
This is the first death at this vilage and it was caused through
drunkenness How strange that man cannot learn wisdome when it is offered at
so dear a price If they could be prevailed upon to quit drink and commence
industry how soon might they be a happy and fine people. Many strong
temptations and deep compunction of conscience
[Apr 25, 1842
Page 65]
particularly in relation to the improvement of time.
Time slips away with wonderful rapidity and I am gliding along to the toom
when I must [ear long] hand my fraid and foundering Book. Day remarkable
fine clear warm & high wind S.
Monday 25
On
yesterday Mr. Hamilton and I went up to the for vilage and meet with a
number of Indians for worship they behaved quite well a goodly number
attended and gave good attention for a time, but as usual many soon got
tired and went out. Had preaching in the evening at our house. on our way
from the vilage we saw signs of rain and it came up soon after we got home
Had a fine rain warm and evening clear
[Apr 26, 1842 Page 66]
Today, the Agent who has been at St. Louis gave me a call and
remained untill I went to the vilage. I got several at the village [necar]
20 who did well In the afternoon I red and wrote some and in the evening
[XXXXX] the yard for grass seed --. Day dandy and cool wind N. W.
Tusday 26th
Drove the wagon with some potatoes to wachamongas.
and did intend to teach some but about the time I was starting to the
village a drunken Indian come along in full spread and I concluded thare
would be but little oppertunity of doing much. In the evening I reviewed
some of my old writings I find them profitable It does appear that I am
going Back. The Lord pity me and send deliverence Day clear and cool.
[Apr 27, 1842 Page 67]
Wedensday 27th April
Visited both villages and had a considerable number of Schollars in each
who payd good attention. I visited moonhackshinga who was stated a few days
ago in a drunken revel. He complained of pain and a great aversion to
indureing it said it would have been good if he had been killd on the spot,
and not left to endure so much pain. Day fine
Thirsday 28
Today my family was so sick that I thought it best to remain at
home. Eliot our little boy was verry bad with something of a fever. Last
night was the moste restless and severe night that I think I never seen him
put in a night of pain and sickness He vomited moste severely and
repeatedly. Mrs. I. was also verry unwell and knows not when she may be
much worse. Mother is also quite ill and all considered I concluded to stay
at home.
[Apr 29, 1842 Page 68]
Spent moste of the
time in the house at reading &c. Day quite warm dry and fine
Friday 29th
Went to Both villages and had a good number of
Schollars who paid quite good attention. On my way home near to the village
I was meet by Capt John or chatonia an Ioway Brave who was quite drunk. He
came out of his way some distance to meet me He was much inclined to talk
and to detain me longer than I wish. I told him I was in a hurry and wanted
to be going. He [insisting] my stoping but I could not well indure his Bad
talk. I started on my way. He rode before me I went round him and pushd on
he again and again rode before me but I persued my course. He grew angry
and pretended to try to whipe me with his Horse whip I kept him off his
Horse being
[Apr 29, 1842 Page 69]
affrade of my
[cane.] He finally got off his Horse and came towards me I stoped and as he
came up I caught his hands and made him sit down and we talked untill he
got in a good humour. I got him again on his Horse and started him towards
the village after going some distance He return and overtook me again, said
he wanted to talk I told him to alite and we would go to a shade and sit
down He did so and we had a long talk sometimes he seemed angry and
sometimes not. sometimes he would try to sware and talk obsene in english
and abuse me and sometimes he would appear very good humoured and say I was
verry good &c. I finally got him on his horse and he starte for the
village and
[Apr 30, 1842 Page 70]
I starte
homewards after I had gone some distance he calld to me and ``sade goodby''
They are wonderful troublesome creatures when drunk, and infact dangerous.
It is hard to know when they will do mischief even to ther best friends.
But god governs the hearts of the heathen as well as all others and we
should rejoice and trust in him Day fine though some appearence of rain
Saturday 30th.
went to both villages and found all
sober and in a good humour moste of the children ware absent but at such
times it gives those who do attend a better oppertunity of learning Some
sign of rain But none yet the ground appears very dry [warmth for good
planting]
[May 2, 1842 Page 71]
Monday 2 May
on yesterday we had no meeting at the village. Having no
interpreter and Mr. Hamilton not [XXXXX] any [talk] wrote. In the afternoon
we had preaching and consort at Mr. H.s room. Today it was with some
difficulty I got to the village having so much to do. I did go but having
forgot my Books I didnot teach I held a number purhaps five or six a number
or sick more so than I think is common at this season of the year. Today we
recd 3 letters from Pa. All our friends are in usual health. Thanks to god
Morning warm afternoon could wind north.
[May 7, 1842 Page
72]
Saturday 7th.
I have been huried along through
this week, and so porly managed my busines that I have not wrote in my
journal aney since monday. One cause of my neglect was that Mrs. I. was
sick some part of the time Mrs. Hamilton has been confined and had a
[XXXXX] [XXXXX] on Thursday night. About the middle of the week I recd a
number of letters from friends in the east and some papers which took up
much of my time. I am affrade that I am making a verry poor use of time it
seems that I never was so well favoured externally for study and mental
employment and I am not shure that I ever done less I let my mind wander
wonderfully, and it so leads me about that I loss much time. I must try and
make out some sistem for the employment of my time which will be more
advantageous, which when I do may God grant to enable me to fill
[May 7, 1842 Page 73]
But to return to the ocurrences of the
week. I have been attending the village regularly, and found a number of
the Schollars sick in each day Some days I was not able to go to both
villages but always went to the one next to us. On yesterday as I was going
on my way to the village I met a large no. of the Boys many of whom ware my
Schollars they sade they ware going on a war party they ware equiped in
warlike stiles and had on his back the medicine [leag], and they ware quite
in a good humour. I proposed they they should say a lesson to this they
readly agreed and we took our seet in a shade near the edge of the prairie
After performing for a time the usual exercises of the school I went on to
the village and they went on their way on my way home I met the same party
returning in all the tryumphs of war. They said they had kill and scalpt an
Indian that they had been verry brave &c. they had the likeness of a
scalp suspended on a plole the customay made of returning from war. They
ware singing and dancing, whopping and hollowing in war like stile. This
was a war party in
[May 9, 1842 Page 74]
miniature.
They seemed to enter quite into a morteal spirit and ware much pleased with
what they had done. Here we may see heathenism in the bud. In thear fallse
and wicked amusement the children meet with the moste cordial approbation
of ther parents. They can perform but few things which will be more
interesting to the parents. Such as the father so will be the sons. The
Heir of Civilization and refinement does not engage in building playhouses
or [XXXXndeling] a toy than these do, in their miniature performence of
what they see from their parents. -- The week has been uniformly warm and
dry
Monday 9th
On yesterday no one went to the
village. I could not well leave home neither could Mr Hamilton. We meet in
our room A sermon. Today Mrs. I. and Eliot ware so ill that I did not think
it prudent to leave home Wind South Dry and warm
[May 10, 1842
Page 75]
Tusday 10th.
Went to the village on a double
errand to teach and search for a [feter] which had been stolen by an Indian
but in the latter was not successful. They Indians all seem to have the
faculty of denying well It is difficult to get stolen property except you
promise a larger reward than the loste article is worth, and this every one
will say is two expensive Day warm & Dry
Wedensday 11
aas quite unwell. Scarcely able to walk to the village but did go
to the near one, and got a number of schollars who behaved well. This is
the evening of meeting at Mr. Richardsons, but I thought I was not well
enough to go, and beside Mrs. I. was not well. Poor sickly dying mortal who
will not be here very long. Day fine
[May 12, 1842 Page 76]
Thirsday 12
Assisted all the time I had to spare in
planting corne. Went late to the village and returned as soon as I could
had several schollars who learn well Thare was much appearence of rain but
none fell. In the evening a high wind blew up from the north and became
quite cold
Friday 13
Had but few Schollars at the
school They are much away at their corne fields, and so loose much of their
precious time. If they could be collected regularly and retained aney
desirable length of time they might and [XXXXX] would learn verry fast. But
as they now proceed it is very difficult for them to learn attall. But
somethings seem favourable and we hope it will terminate in much favourable
and good. Day cool and cloudy But no rain
[May 14, 1842 Page
77]
Saturday 14
On yesterday Maj. Richardson
requested me to attend a council with the Ioways and Sacks at the new
Schoolhouse today. I went but oweing to the absence of some of the chefs
the council was defered untill monday. I spent part of the day in writing
and in doing some little work about the house Day dry and warm
Monday 16th
On yesterday Father took it of choise to go to the
village And I stayed at home spent moste of the time in reading mostly the
Bible and some exposition of it, have been wonderfully delighted and I hope
edified in reviewing the history of Moses as given in the [five] first
Book of the old testament writen by himself What purity and meekness,
humility and love
[May 17, 1842 Page 78]
In the
afternoon meet at Mr. Hamiltons for preaching. Today I went to the
Schoolhouse in the prairie having understood that the Ioways and Sax ware
to have a council and I was wished present. Now come I understood that they
ware drunk. I went to the village to teach found a few schollars but maney
ware absent. What a pity so little time to do anything and so little doing
It is afflicting to see so little doing and so much carelessness on the
Subject Days warm and very dry
Tusday 17th.
Started
soon to the village just as I got thare, Word came that I was wished at the
council and I got a horse and went as soon as I could The Sacks and Ioways
entered into council together. It was one of the moste unpleasant and
painful councils that I ever
[May 17, 1842 Page 79]
attended. Great jealousy existes especially between too of the Chiefs
Whitecloud and [neumonya]. Thare is scarcely aney friendly feeling among
them but much of the reverce. They become much and easily excited and do
not abash to tell clear lies on each other. Some ware on the point of
leaving the council in anger and some did leave before they ware done It is
a moste unhappy state of things, and I am affrade will grow worse I have
understood that these two chiefs ware a few days ago on the point of
fighting They ware so far as to have their knives drawn and that when duly
sober This is alarming But God may and doubtless will rool it fer good But
the present is a dark time on all hands poor Ioways when will they be sober
and have the spirit of the gosple Morning cloudy and looks for rain
evening clear
[May 18, 1842 Page 80]
Wedensday
18th
Last evening Pumpkin a very old and infirm cheif of the
Iowas came to spend the night with us. This morning he wished me to take
the wagon and haul him home as he was so infirm as not to be able to walk
except with great pain and difficulty. I consented with pleasure and after
some fixing we got started. I was surprised to see how infirm he was I had
to help him in and out of the wagon and even the joulting of the wagon
seemed to pain him verry much. I did esteem it a pleasure thus to wait on
the old man I may never have the oppertunity again of doing the old man
[offise] of kindness again. He, to be [XXXXX] is and a heathen more But he
is old and stricken in years, and if God has so cond taken care of him
ought not I lend my aid to do something for the old man
[May 19,
1842 Page 81]
This was the evening of meeting. We attended to it
before night. on the way I felt cold and bad. But at meeting I had more
freedom and [calledidness] in prayer than common. I am a wonderful poor and
ignorant worm of the dust and shamefully willing to remain so Today we had
a fine shower. It commenced about day brake and was moderate. the first
rain for some time.
Thirsday 19th.
Made what haste I
could in going to the vilage on account of Mrs Irvin being ill when I left
and She thought it probable that She might soon be worse I went only to the
near village and came back as soon as I could. In the evening I went to the
Agency and Smith Shop
[May 20, 1842 Page 82]
with
Mr. Neumonya who had some business with the Agent.
Friday
20th.
Just as I was geting up this morning Mr. Keck came in and
told me that he had lost all his clothes on yesterday, the Indian boys
having stolen them and he wished me to assist him in getting them back
after breakfast we started and with some enjury got on the track. Through
the aid and [firmness] of Mrs Doraway we got the clothes safe and sound.
The Boys had stolen them away and hid them in the woods in a large tree
top, where when one of the boy who was along conducted us with some
reluctence I couldnot but admire the firmness and vigilence of the Old
lady
Yesterday and today are both [XXXXX] and gloomy fine
growing time and Idle looks lik rain
[July,1842 Page 131]
to the corn fields and Some for plumbs &c. I started up to the
far village but when I got to the little creek I meet Nahoocheninga who
told me they ware so drunk at the village that he was affrade and had come
away, and so advised me not to go any farther while we ware siting talking
he sudently started up and said he herd them comeing and said we had best
go into the Bushes. we did so but heard no more of them he said that they
had fallen from their horses and would not come on. I then returned with
him to the old or near village. In the Evening we meet at Mr. Hamiltons to
pey for the Oppresser and the Oppresed Had some earnest feelings for the
poor slave. But I fer they are too trancient existing mainly during meeting
or conversation on the Subject. Surely they are to be pitied Great
appearance of rain But none has yet fell.
[July 26, 1842 Page
132]
Tusday 26th
Went to both villages and had in all
32 Schollars. They are now spreading about to there corne fields for the
purpose of making sweet corn this will take maney of the Schollars out of
my reach and will be a draw back to my labour poor ignorent mortals when
will the learn wisdom and become settled and sober! Great appearance of
rain heavy clouds in every direction But no rain fell
Wedensday
27th.
Went to the village and had thirty one Schollars some of
them are doing well I did not go to the far village because it was late and
because I found moste of the Schollars from thare at this near village
This morning thare was a beautiful shower while we ware at
breakfast and another in the evening It was moste refreshing
[July 28, 1842 Page 132b]
Thirsday 28th.
This
morning was prevented from going to the village by a moste delightful
shower of rain which commenced soon after sun rise and continued untill
near noon It was one of Gods moste rich earthly gifts as it thus seemed the
drouth has been great inded. The Shower was remarkable for its calmness and
warmth no wind and but little thunder all nature seems to rejoice May [en
dratitud] be paid to God for his temporal blessings. Went to the village
but found few children A Steam Boat had gon up to the point and moste had
gon thare for weather see above
Friday 29th
At
school and had a goodly no of Schollars. One of the Schollars Pawnee comes
regularly to the house to be taught. He is the moste promising Boy in point
of intellect that I know in the village and if he had a good
[July 30, 1842 Page 133]
chance he no doubt if spard and with
the Blessing of God would make a useful man fine rain Beautiful growing
weather How kind is providence in providing for all our wants and in this
particular in making such ample provisions for our food
Saturday
30th.
All week I have been in doubts about going over the river
to a Sacramental meeting which was Appointed on the other side of the
River. I was still wavering but concluded to go with father at least as far
as the river leaving it with the favourable circumstances to determine
wheather I would go on or not. At the River I found things favourable and
accordingly went on It was about 8 miles and we got to the place just as
the minister was closing his remarks. In the evening we had meeting at a
neighbouring house and Mr. Carsin (the minister) calld on me to make some
remarks with which I reluctantly complied. I was [XXXXX] favored now
[Aug 1, 1842 Page 134]
In freedom of Speech that I
thought probably I would be may I Bless God for his kindness and tender
mercies. After meting I went to Mr. Templetons to spend the night. Day
cloudy but dry and evening very cool wind N.
Monday Aug 1st.
Have just returned from the meeting on the other Side of the River
God has ben wonderfully kind. He has displayd his loving kindness and his
tender mercies. How excellent in all the earth is his name Yesterday was a
day spent in the Courts of the Lord But Oh I was it acceptable and to his
honour and glory after the elements was distributed Mr. Carsin earnestly
solicited that I should make some remarks which I strove to do and in which
I found some freedom and pleasure. In the evening at 5 we meet at the same
place and the Burden of the remarks fell upon me at this time I had more
than ordinary freedom of Speech. Today I returnd home with maney serious
thoughts and some what of an unsettled mind. Mr. Carsin insists that I am
qualified for
[Aug 1, 1842 Page 135]
being more
extensively useful thare what I am in my present situation declares that he
thinks I might with propriety be licenced to preach. This is a calling and
[duty] for which I have a thousand times wished that I was qualified It
seems to be my duty then to do ware I qualified But how weighty are the
responsibilities and how many and importent the qualifications. But as
Bolain opend the mouth of the dumb beast so he may speak a a word by this
unworthy day. I am moste affrade that I would be disposed to preach myself
and not Christ. I know I am proud and ambitious and wish to appear to be
somebody when in fact I am nothing But I think that on no former do I
[recalled] of having more of a sincere desire that God would come and
gloryfy himself that he would appear in vindication of his own cause.
Thare is so many needy souls and careless creatures in the neighborhood and
congregation that no beast can feel indifferent who has the love of god or
man at hart But god must do the work [Haman Swason] cannot
[Aug
2, 1842 Page 136]
do anything atall only drive away the Spirit
of truth when it is not desired that God may be supremely glorified, for
God will not allow a worm of the dust to have the honour which is due to
him But time forbids me to detail my thoughts in this place The day was
fine but cool. Today I did but little except get home and rest after my
fatiguing journy Day fine clear & cool
Tusday 2nd.
Resumed teaching but was pained to find maney of the Children away with
their then parents to bury Corne from the field had in all but about 22 It
is a pity that they can not be retained and made to learn more rapidly
Day clear dry and cool
Wedensday 3
At
fathers request I went with him and Mr. Hamilton to seak a place where we
might mow some hey for the winter
[Aug 4, 1842 Page 137]
This took our time nearly until the mide of the day, after which I
went to the village and had a few schollars about 20 Maney of the people or
families of the villag have moved to ther corne fields and so are out of my
reach this seems like a great loss. To be hindred from the little that is
doing seems bad. I hope that they may soon be come more sober and steady
and remain more constantly at home In the evening we went to Mr. Hamiltons
to Mr. Richardsons to meeting Day warm and clear but cool nights.
Thirsday 4
Started Early this morning on horse Back to School
with a view at the request of Father to hunt some grass that would be
suitable for mowing I found none good but went to moste of the houses. They
are now [compey] about at their fields to make sweet corn the Schollars are
seated and I hardly know what to do
[Aug 5, 1842 Page 138]
I had but about 20 something seems always to be in the way a number
of squaw was drunk and some men. They are about going on a visit to the
Otoes It is late Day fine sun clear and warm wind S.
Friday
5th
Started to the village and went by the dwelleg of White Crow
who I found worse than ever he is being very Bad with the gravel. I went
Back for Mr. Hamilton and we brought some medicine which we hope may be
useful. Went to the village but moste of them are absent found only about
20 Schollars but they have a good oppertunity of learning. Returned to see
the Crow twist in the afternoon but he is not aney Better poor man suffers
very much Oh that he had the hopes of the Gosple But the flies plage me so
bad
[Aug 6, 1842 Page 139]
I must desist Day warm
& some signs of rain.
Saturday 6th.
Spent part of
the day in visiting the White Crow who still continues very sick. I fear he
will die He is badly swolen and no passage of water for several days. It
seems that but little can be done for him. He does it is true follow our
directions to some extent but not fully. Could his soul be enlightened so
that he could find hope and consolation in this way it would be a wonderful
releaf to his bodily sufferings But God rools and knows will what is for
the best. At the village had but a few schollars so maney having gon to
their corne fields, and care but little about
[Aug 8, 1842 Page
140]
learning Another week is about gon and gon
forever All its doings are faithfully recorded on high and the great day
will unfold things in ther troue colors Oh Lord what is rong mercifully
pardon and [ins] [fulten] direct. Day warm and some appearence of rain
Monday 8
On yesterday I didnot go to the village. In the
afternoon we meet at Mr. Hamiltons and it fell upon me to make some remarks
which I strove to do from Ezra 3rd chapt. in reffernce to the [Heaten duly
[XXXXX] the heathe and as weakmor] under God. This was monthly [consal.]
This morning [Neumonya] cam and told us the Sack ware comeing to visit them
and they ware going out to meet them, and to assist them in a good display
they wanted to Berrow our horses
[Aug 8, 1842 Page 141]
with some reluctance we consented but I took the precaution to go along
just as I got thare I saw a drunken Indian mounted on Mr. Hamiltons horse
and going at full spead. I refused my horses telling the Chief that I would
not give my horses to drunk Indians as we ware talking the man on horseback
started to the Sack encampment. The chief calld to him but in vain. I took
my horses away and hid them in the neighbouring [road], and returned for
Mr. Hamiltons horse but could not find him after waiting a long time I took
one of my horses and went after him I found the horse at Plums house and
took him forthwith the house seemed to be litterly full of drunk Indians
and many ware about the yard and fences also drunk. No school it is
discourageing and perplexing I Scarcly know what to do. So much hindrinces
and carelessness
[Aug 9, 1842 Page 142]
on the part of the Indians that it seems hardly worthwhile humany
speaking to try to do anything attall But God reigns we must be [stout].
Day warm and some appearences of rain
Tusday 9th.
Went as usual to the village but found some drunk and the minds of all
taken up with the contemplate fare with the Sacks. Today they are going to
smoke horses to the Sacks. Great preparations are being made for it in
dressing painting and such like. The children ware so much engaged that I
cold not do much in teaching. It is wonderful and trying to see how many
things seem to hinder the School and the improvement of these poor
creatures. In the evening I come by where the white crow is being He is
quite ill. I fear will die soon, yet he is rational and seems not to fear
death But the sting has not be extracted but only lost in the
[Aug 10, 1842 Page 143]
polution and defilement of his mind
some appearence of rain.
Wedensday 10. Aug
This
morning I was unwell, on last evening I took some fisick what makes me sick
and weak. Soon after I got up word came that the white crow was dead and a
coffin was wanted I was too sick to work but after Breakfast (though I was
not able to eat) I assisted Mr. Hamilton and father some in makeing a box
of Boards which answered a good purpose. The day was so wet and I so unwell
that I did not go to the villag. Stad at home and wrote letters mainly
Father thinks of starting to Liberty in the morning. Beautiful rain in the
morning which begun before day and continued untill near 8 and then later
showers through the day fine growing time.
Thusday 11th Spent
the leisure time I had in working at a close press which I been trying to
make for our own
[Aug 12, 1842 Page 144]
convenience.
At the village several ware drunk, and as they lade mourning for the man
who was buryed yesterday some of the oldest men ware drunk and appeard to
be deeply affected with the loss. Had not much over so Schollars they are
all very busily engaged in drying corne. Day continues wet and gloomy,
some rain fell and wind continues E.
Friday 12
Went
to the village at the usual time and found but few children or old people
thare, moste beig absent at their corne I at times felt discouraged, and
almost disposed to give up. So much away and So irregular in attendence,
that scarcely anything seems to be a doing. And prospect not much
encourageing But diligence is necessary and must be exercised. Fell much my
sins and
[Aug 13, 1842 Page 145]
follies and the
predomnency of my fleshly lusts It is wonderful that at this distant time I
have not these subdued and slain. It is a great mercy in god that I am not
out off in my sins. But goodness and mercy is still around me Health and
prospery is mine may return of gratitude be on my part. Day gloomy and some
rain
Saturday 13th. Aug
At school found But few
Schollars maney, infact nearly all ware gon and settled at their corne
fields. Hurried away from writing Day gloomy and some rain fell
Monday 15th
On yesterday Mr. Hamilt. & I went to the
Indians and with some difficuly and delay, after going considerable
distance got a few together but befor the devise was over not one was left
in the house who first came in. It is truly discourageing But god knows
what is lust and will work for his own glory. In the afternoon we
[Aug 13, 1842 Page 146]
meet for meeting at our room. It was a
time of some solemnity to us and ought to be long remembered. We in form,
consecrate or gave away our young little daughter to the Lord in Baptism.
The Lord gave it and to him we would cheerfully and in faith desire to
return it. It is a great privilege to receive such a gift from god and it
is a much greater to give it Back to him again. Her name is Mary Jane I
that she may be like mary of old that she may set at the saviours feet and
it that pure wisdom which is from on high. It is no doubt a difficult
matter to give up a child to god. Should it get sick and draw near to death
could we say [here] God is thine if thou art pleased to take it. Thy will
be done. But if she is spared all may she be useful in the church and be an
bein of life eternal Went to the village today. Had but few Schollars
nearly all gone from the village. But those who are how a fine oppertunity
of learning Day clear off after a long and rich wet spel on yesterday
some fine showers.
[Aug 16, 1842 Page 147]
Tusday 16
Aug
Early this morning Father and the children (Nancy &
Rhoda) Started to the Platt county the children to visit and Father to
Liberty. The morning was takeing up in preparations for this. Today
Richardson came fo rme to go with him to Wachamonies to talk some I went
but before geting to the place we ware told that he was from home and did
not go. Went to teaching But found the Schollars Scarcer I having found a
few on the way which together made several. The Evening rain cool &
high wind from the N.
Wedensday 17th.
Started early
to fulfill the business of yesterday with Wachamonya and at his house found
all sober and had the pleasure of partakeing with them in a [Rackom]
feast, which was will Boild with
[Aug 16, 1842 Page 148]
green corne. But I did not much like the victles. I went to a
number of their camps (in their corne) but found the children scattered How
difficult it is to get them collected and get them instruction. Today I
have thought much about what appears to be the path of duty. It seems to be
discourageing to remain hear purhaps moste of my life and do nothing more
than teach a few Indian children lettres. It often appears to me that I
ought to try to preach the Gosple. But am I qualified and how am I to
obtain permission? Several of my friends seem to urge me to it But it is so
solem and Important and so deep and broad that who is sufficient for these
things. The great question wheather I would not be disposed to preach
myself more than Christ takes up much of my thoughts I am so proud and
selfish and disposed to think that I am something when I am nothing that I
may be easily [XXXXX] But I have not now time to write Day clear warm and
very fine -
[Aug 18, 1842 Page 149]
Thirsday
18th.
Started early and made what haste I could that I might be
able to finish in the evening a job of work what has been on hands for some
time. And more especially that I might be ready to receive Dr Smith who was
expected at our station this evening. I had not maney Schollars but moste
of them who ware thare did well. On yesterday I had a talk with Wawpash.
He voluntarily told me that the White Crow an Indian who had died a few
days ago, had just got home, that the sky was now clear, the sun shown out
and he was now at home in rest. That this heart was rong when he started
and hense he had bad weather on the way. I asked him how for the house or
county to which he went was off, he said more than four days. that a smart
person could travl it in about that time. I asked him how infantes and such
who ware not able to walk
[Aug 18, 1842 Page 150]
ware transported he said that at the town or ``Big Village'' as he calld
it, they always knew when persons died and would come and carry them away.
But suppose a large & infirm one such as Nohwhamonga, who is lame and
others infirm ware to die, how would they be carried? could one carry a big
spirit of this kind or how maney does it take, for such said he they bring
horses. They have horses pleanty and fine grass for them to live upon. He
went on to add that their infirmities would be all heald in that village,
that the blind should receive new eyes, that ``they had plenty of good
eysee than''. Ears and &c that good people will neve die again But bad
may die 3 or four times and then turn into some Bird and fly about. Why do
you not go thare now? (having described the county as on the earth, near to
the great water towards the sun riseing and not far from the heads of the
Mississippi, None go thare untill after they die he answered. Much was said
near of the same amount. His system is strange but seems
[Aug
19, 1842 Page 151]
to be gathered all together from earthly
objects How evident it is that revelation has never reached their ears or
never entered into their system of Divinity and swords and punishments Day
fine warm and pleasant wind N.W.
Friday & Saturday 19th and
20th Aug
Both days attended school with a usual attendence. This
evening Father and the Indian Children who had been away at Platt and
Liberty came home and Brought some letters and a number of papers. We have
heard from our friends in P.A. They are all well. But religion seems to be
in a verry low condition indeed If it is indeed living atall. They say that
horse raceing is takeing much up the attention of the people this is a
lamentable thing indeed. That place when [puty] and zeal seemed so much
to
[Aug 22, 1842 Page 152]
abound is growing
careless and sinful. How affecting is this. That when the Kingdom of Christ
has got a hold that it should be deserted by his followers and that the
ranks of darkness should be permitted to advance at! it is a thousand
pities. And it is all for want of zeal and perseverance on the part of
those who are the professed followers of Christ. When we look at the
Darkness around us and hear their reports from our enlightened land from
which we expect encouragement & help it is afflicting. But God will do
all things will Days fine
Monday 22nd.
On yesterday
Mr H. and I went to the village to have meeting We found a number at
Numonyas tent feasting. They asked us to participate after their feast they
agreed to have meeting But before meeting was over not one was left of
those who ware thare at the begining except
[Aug 23, 1842 Page
153]
two who ware asleep. This is trying It seems we can hardly
know how to proceed, or how we can exercise that path which we ought.
Meeting at Mr Hamiltons in the afternoon and had a number of braves from
the Ohio side of the River who have come over not so much for to get good
as to see things new. This evening I was ovr taken with severe temptations
from a source that I would hardly thought I would have any [XXXXX] ments.
It is clear that the Devil is going about ,and our flesh is ready to
receive and [obey] him. Oh that in the day and [XXXXX] of tryal I may find
sustaining grace. Day fine, some appearence of rain.
Tusday
23rd.
At the village found but few children and some drunk so
that but little was done in the way of teaching. I found one woman who was
in a bad con-
[Aug 24, 1842 Page 154]
dition. She was
near to the time of her confinement and unfortunately had falln from a
horse and got hurt and appeard to be in much pain. In the afternoon Mrs.
Richardson and Mrs Poteet (who had come to wate on Mrs P Richardson in her
expected confinement) went up to see her and I went along for company and
to protect the woman among the Indians. It was necessary for me to go again
up in the evening to bleed the woman I Bled her and 2 others. The woman
does not appear to be much if any Better. They seem to have but little
knowledge in regard to those things They poor woman heave to do near all
themselves. I have been thare 3 times today and each time saw some under
the affects of liquor. What a pity that they throwe themselves thus away.
Day warm & appearence of rain, but none
Wedensday 24
At school, as usual but few Schollars, nearly all away at their
fields. Went to
[Aug 25, 1842 Page 155]
to meeting in
the evening. My leisure time has been taken up today in writing a discourse
from 21st Rev. & 7 verses. I have now on this subject trespased my
time. I ought to have been asleep before now. Day warm& dry
Thusday 25
Worne down with writing and study and some unwell,
pain in my Bowels and threatened with Diarreia. Went to Both villages but
found but few children, in one none atall It is a wonderful pity to see
them so careless. Day warm and dry
Saturday 27th.
Have been so busy that I could not find time to write as I ought. My
writing seems to take up too much of my time. I attened the village both
days and had a usual mount of schollars Time is Hurrying me along oh that I
may be enable to improve it as it flies
[Aug 30, 1842 Page
156]
The days and weeks are passing by Day warm and dry.
Tusday 30th Aug 1842
Have just finished a long discourse
and have not time left to write to my length here. On Sabath we went to the
village and had some whites and Indians both at meeting and from both we
had as good attention or better than is usual. In the evening we had
meeting at our house and I strove to talk some from the 73 psalm and had a
times a little [libery] but on the whole felt quite ashamed of what I had
done. On yesterday and today at School with my usual number of Schollars.
They have caught the crazy man and he seems to be growing [better.] This
evening I bled 3 old people at their own earnest request. Days warm and
dry
Thusday Sept. 1st. 1842
On yesterday I was
diverted from my usual writing by studying another subject
[Sep
6, 1842 Page 157]
I have it in contemplation if spared to try to
go down to the nodaway on next sabath and it seems necessary that I have
something prepared for that occassion as I may have to take the forward
part in the meeting no minister being present. I feel much in need of
mental training, but more in need of grace Oh how ignorent and Blind I feel
myself to be. Yesterday and today attended the village But few Schollars as
the day moste being absent at the fields. yesterday warm & dry today
more cool but cloudy.
Tusday 6th Sep
Since the last
date I have been at Dr Smiths on the nodaway. I went thare with a view of
aiding in a meeting, but when I went thare to my agreeable disappointment I
found two ministers both of whom preached and I was releaved of much of the
exercises. Sabath night I spent with Mr. Ewing and at his house ware a
number of [XXXXX] persons with whom we had an agreeable time in family
worship. I felt an ardent desire for the good and the intersts of the
cause
[Sep 10, 1842 Page 158]
of
Christ. I do not know wher I was so much engaged and led out on this
subject, and was in possession of so much composure of mind. I am now quite
unwell pain in my breast and very bad cold. I must be preparing for death
and Eternity I feel bad this evening on account of not encouraging some
young men to stay with us all night, we thought they ware traders and would
not entertain them I thing we did rong. Today I assisted Mr Hamilton and
Agent to take the roll [fo] the Sack to pay ther annuy.
Saturday
10
Since the last date I have been wonderfully, mentally. Having
to and ther agent in paying out ther annuty to the Indians Both Sacks and
foxes, and the main part of the [writing] calculations &c. was left to
me. I have not ben able to sleep as much as I ought by any means, and I am
now not fit for busins I must close quite unwell I may be [XXXXX] near to
sickness and death Oh that I may be prepared.
[Sep 11, 1842 Page
159]
Still writing for the agent, was about
starting to the village but was told that they ware so drunk that it was
not worth while for me to go. I accordingly staid at home and wrote. In the
evening I was told that an Indian had been kill in a drunken frolick It was
afterwards fully confirmed. He was quite a good conditiond man and one who
I regarded very much. his name was mingrata and what seems the moste
strange is that he was murderd by his own [kind]. This is shocking but what
is favorable about it that it was among connections and will go no farther
Day cool & cloudy
Saturday December 11th.
I have
finally through the goodness of a moste merciful god been permitted to
resume my long neglected diary. At the last date I was attact with a
disorder of the eyes which renderd me quite unable to see
[Sep
11, 1842 Page 160]
to read or write or infact to do anything at
all for a long time I was for some considerable time confine to my room
with the greatest pain in my eyes and it was wonderful how this disorder
linger even after I was able to leave my room I could not see to read
write or do scarcely anything, and even now at this distant date I cannot
see very clearly and not without considerable pain Since the last date
several things of some importance have transpired. one of the moste import
as regards myself was a trip to presbity to get get advice from them in
regard to the propriety of puting myself under ther
[Sep 11,
1842 Page 161]
as a candidate for the Sacred ministry presbity
meet at Lexington on the last day September, and after consulting with Mr.
Hamilton and the rest of the mission family and I would [humbly] trust
swore prayer for the way of duty I concluded to go down for advice. The
distance must have been more than 120 miles and I was absent 10 days and in
the mean time sufferd not a little with my eyes. This trip to presbity has
cost me much thought. I scarcely know the pathe of duty. I have for some
time and especially at particular times thought of giving up every idea of
pursueing my studies aney farther or striving to be more extensively useful
in the world, but I can not it seems
[Sep 11, 1842 Page 162]
I cannot long or well endure that Idea and I am not shure that it
is not in some degree owing to this on my part that for a long time I have
found that vital pity seems (if it exists atall) is in such a low condition
in my soul I seem to be almost dead and so I do often feel miserable, and
at no time do I crying that happiness which I could wish or even once did.
At presbity I meet with all the encouragement that I could wish although
for want of my regular certificate I could not be regularly and in order
taken under thare care yet a resolution was part that I be treated as
though I was recd, and proceed to make preparations for examination in the
Spring, whe I also could have my certificate in readiness. The labour which
this involved me in is not a [little]
[Sep 11, 1842 Page 163]
but when I am the moste active in usefulness or prepareing for
usefulness I always feel the best, and hense I am encouraged to try in the
strength of God to try to go on. The greatest and moste difficult
undertaking is the greek language But if my designs are pure and it is
necessary in the [senise] in which I would engage to have a knowledge of
this I have no doubt god in his goodness will give me strength to go
through with it. I have yet scarcely tried it sufficient to know much about
it but I am shure that it will be hard for me at this age.
Presbity sat at Lexington Lofyett Co mo. I came home by the way of
Liberty where I met with father from our station. We spent the Sabath thare
and then after making some purchases and spendg an other day we started
home which
[Sep 11, 1842 Page 164]
we reached in due
season. Immediately after my return I commenced building a small room as an
addition to our dwelling and repareing our smok house which took up moste
of the time untill snow fell Since writing last The Indians have recd, as
was stated, thare annuity and what is worse not less than two have been
kill in drunken frolicks Menyrela & Chotoing after the receipt of the
annuity they ware for a long time moste wonderful drunken and it was from
this that these lamentable acidents happened. On yesterday too Mr. Ballard
and family arived here from the platt to spend if spared at least one year
as [favour] to the Ioway Indians He spent the last night with us and today
and today moved down to Mr. Roys house in or near which he will moste
probably reside
[Sep 13, 1842 Page 165]
Since the
last date the weather has been remarkable, untill about the first of
November the weather was unbroken dry and warm. About that time a change
took place we had a hard rane and soon after a deep snow and since, the
ground has not been bare. We have already had more snow than is common in
the whole winter, and the weather is severely cold The Missouri is frosen
over and strong for wagons &c.
Monday 13th.
On
yesterday we had meeting at Mr. Hamiltons room and it was my lot to make
some remarks, which I strove to do from the 73 psalm I was at first sum
embarest, not having for some time spoken in publick But the main enquery
ought to
[Sep 14, 1842 Page 166]
be was God
honoured? was his great and good name glorified? One thing encourageing I
did not feel so much the useings of pride as is common with me. But it may
have been workeing in some unseen [greater.] Spent the day in study Day
cloudy and cold and ground coverd with Snow
Tusday 14
Spent moste of the day in the study except some time I spent in assisting
Father to haul some wood Day cool & cloudy and a little snow fell
Wedensday 15
In the study This morning Father started
with the team to assist Mr. Ballard in geting up his hay and some things
which he has
[Sep 16, 1842 Page 167]
at his olld place in platt. In the evening meet for prayer at Mr
Hamiltons. After meeting was assaild with severe temptations but was
enabled soon to gain some victory over them Day cloudy & cool
Thusday 16
In the study all day and in the evening wrote
a letter to Mr. Lowrie Day moderate, cloudy but not much thawing.
Friday 17
Spent the day at study except what time appeared to
be necessary for exercise at Choping wood. I am favourably situatd I have
not much earthly consearn, and am fully provided for in a temporal point of
view if I do not improve my in such a time as this I need not expect ever
to do it. May the Lord enable me to be faithful. Day clear but cold and
pleasant.
[Sep 18, 1842 Page 168]
Saturday 18
The morning being fair and having some [corn] out and the Indians
[being] stealing it away and having some help in my reach I thought it best
to spend part of the day in puling off the corne. Mr. Ballard and father
assisted me and we got done about three oclock The evening was spent in
studying to try to prepare something for tomorrow as Mr Hamilton is absent
Day very clear moderate and fine.
Monday 20th.
On
yesterday Mr. Hamilton was not here and it fell to me to lead the
exercises. The remarks which I strove to make was from the 32nd of Isaiah I
had taken some pains to study what I said and it was pronounced with some
care to myself but I fear that I did not labour
[Sep 22, 1842
Page 169]
sufficient ardent desires to promote the Glory of God.
I am affrade that I strove too much to honour myself than honour God What a
miserable thing pride is It is the root of all evil! When shall I be free
from this worst of all evils, and a evil too of which thare is little room
one would think in me. We had quite a fine congregation and all verry
attentive I trust they did not hear in vain. Today I went to study and fer
health choped some wood. Day fine moderate and clear, but the snow still
lies on.
Thusday 22nd.
On Tusday last we ware all
engaged in assisting Mr. Ballard to butcher his hogs which he has just
drove up from the platt county, and on yesterday I spent moste of the day
in the study and in the evening
[Sep 25, 1842 Page 170]
went to prayer meeting at Mr. Richardsons though it was not without
some pain from a wound I had recd in my great toe from the fall of a pen
knife the little blade piercing my Boot and toe. I suppose to the bone. It
was painfull last night and today I have sufferd considerable The weather
still continues very Cold and snow does not waste. I ought to have stated
that on last night we recd a number of letters from frends and are rejoiced
to here of ther welfare some of our acquantices are gone the way of all
the being many are in ready also.
Friday 23rd.
This
morning I set down with a view to spend moste of the day in writing letters
&c. but was soon stoped by a call of Maj Richardson to go with him to
see an unfortunate french man who had got into a difficulty with the
Indian, in a drunken frolick and
[Sep 26, 1842 Page 171]
was sade to be severely beaten. on examination He was found to be
severly injured his head was severely cut especially in one place I had to
sew it up it was so that I could easily probe it to the scul bone His hands
ware badly frosen and we had to poultice them. His nose bled considerable
and he was much disposed to sleep I am affrade that his case is rather
dangerous. It is wonderful wat misery this whiskey does to the human
family. In the evening Mr. & Mrs. Ballard was with us so that I got but
one letter wrote and some reading. Last night was hard freesing Day cloudy
and wind S. but still freezeing
Monday 26th.
On
friday I was emploid part
[Sep 27, 1842 Page 172]
of
the day in attending to the infortunate man who was pounded on yesterday.
On yesterday morning he died and moste of the day was spent in preparing a
coffin and geting him put under the ground. This is a solem occurrence but
I have not now time to give reflections I fear the consequences but on this
I cannot dwell Today I resumed my study and for exercise commenced to make
a book case In the evening we meet at Mr Hamilton for prayer for the
oppressor and the [oppost.]
Friday & Saturday clear and
more mild, today gloomy and snowy all day but not very cold.
Tusday 27
Spent moste of this day in working at a Book Case
that I am trying to make and wish to have it done before the school
commences. Day moderate but snow fell all day & nearly all last
night
[Sep 31, 1842 Page 173]
Saturday Dec. 31. last
day of the year!
Since the last date I have been engage in work
at my Book Case untill yesterday when I got done and had to go out to the
agents to visit him some in writing out his accounts and prepareing them
for the close of the quarter. I spent part of today also in writing for him
and part of this evening was spent in prayer at Mr Hamiltons in
Thanksgiving for the kindness of the Lord during the past year. It was not
however my privilege to be thare it appeared to be my duty to stay at home
and let the rest of the family all go. It is but seldom that I have been
hindre from going to meeting and my wife has frequently and it is but
proper that I should take part of the burden The weathr still continues
freezing the ground covered with snow and cold.
[Sep 31, 1842
Page 174]
And now another year is wound up, the history of its
doings is now finished and indelably enstampt on the records of eternity It
is seald and fixed untill the great day when the ``Books shall be opened''
My oppertunities for doing good to my fellow creatures in this year are now
over My privileges for labouring in the cause of my master is now for this
year at an end. And my time for repenting & mourning and obtaining
pardon for my sins in this year are now also done Solem thought. Which
should at least make me more prayerfull and watchful in future for I am
growing with great rapidity to that Land from which I can never return Time
will not allow me to write more now
[Mar 25, 1842 Page 225]
Monday Mar 27th.
On yesterday we meet in Mr Hamiltons
Kitchen and had had a verry pathetick discourse from these words. I am
jesus whom thou persecutist. It was shown in several ways how Christians
may and often do persecute Christ. I am apalle that I moste wonderfully
persecute Christ. Today I commenced to chop logs for a stable or barn. I
wish to get all the materials ready and what I can done this winter that I
may not be hindered from teaching in the Spring. Day Cloudy but
moderate.
Tusday 28
Butchered a beef in the forenoon,
one which Mr H and I had in partnership. It turned out but poorly, though
it is much better than I diserve.
Wedensday 29
Continued to Cut logs The trees hung with a heavy white frost all day.
moderate.
[Mar 30, 1842 Page 226]
Thirsday 30th.
Engaged all day in hauling logs. We had four teems at hauling logs
for the intended barn. It requires much more labour than one could suppose
to put up a building of this sizee. I am verry tired indeed my arms akes.
But have I good hope of a building in heaven when I am done building and
[todeing], when pain and disappointment are the common lot of all Day
verry clear and some could.
[Jan 1, 1844 Page 1]
January 1st. A.D. 1844
Through the amasing kindness of God I
am spard to see the commencement of another year. In the year past what
multitudes have been called into the eternal world and still I have been
spard. I would try to consecrate my all to the Lord. My time talents
property and all and beg that though this year I might be enabled to see
the Lord in a more [entire] and [XXXXX] manner than formerly. The year past
has been marked by mercies from the father of spirits. No [enroad] has been
made on us by death nor no importent sicknss or serious misfortune. The
year with all its intersts is seald up to the great day.
[Jan 1, 1844 Page 2]
spent most of the day in the offise
reading and meditateing. At 2 oclock we had meeting, of prayer for mercies
past and consecration for the times to come and imploring the aid of gods
spirit to assist in the year upon which we have just entered. And after
night we had another meeting to unite with others in praying for the spread
of the gosple over the world.
Up to the present time the winter
has been remarkable for consistant mild and pleasant weath except
occasionel mud. But today thare is a most remarkable change. Since Saturday
morning it has rained from the east almost constantly, but about
[Jan 2, 1844 Page 3]
noon the wind turned from the N.W. and in
less than 12 hours mercury fell from 77&UnknownEntity; to 17&UnknownEntity;
! It is now snowing and freesing.
Tusday 2nd.
In the
offise seting [types] &c. was visited by pumpkin and scolded because
that I did not treat the Indians as Jeffrey the former interpreter had been
wont to do. Wrote a letter to my Revd. & honored frend Dr. Swift of
Allghy [XXXXX] and I in the evening went to the Agency and spent part of
the evening in pleasant confersetion with our kind friends thare. This even
the Indian children [& our] familys had a supper at our house. Day
still cold and some snow.
[Jan 5, 1844 Page 4]
Wedensday 3rd
Spent the day in the offise at type seting and
and study
The day is rather storm and more cold than usual.
Thirsday 4th.
Today Mrs. Irvin & Mrs. Ballard &
I went to the agency to visit. I was called by the Indians to go to the
agents to interpret. No heart & pumpkin ware on some busines of geting
provisions & and they brought me under promise of going with them to
Rubedeaus to see that they got good weight and measure The agent proposes
to go along. We dined at the agents and suped and spent the even at Mr P.
Richardsons & with Mr & Mrs Ballard very pleasantly
[Jan 5, 1844 Page 5]
Neighbours are always a great blessing
particularly those a such as we now have. Nothing can surpass their kindnes
and hospitality towards us and all their neighbours. How great must be the
socien enjoyment and pleasure of the upper world when all is pure and
perfect place?
Day about the tempreture of yesterday and evening
clear and very pleasant.
Friday. 5
[Nothing wothy
nater.] In the offise and in the evening suped at Mr Hamiltons where Mrs.
Irvin was visiting in the Afternoon. It is now a long time since we spent
any time together be[XXXX]. perhaps we should spend more than what we
do.
Day mild with some snow.
[Jan 6, 1844 Page 6]
Saturday 6th
Finished seting up one form of pages for
the primary Book and in the afternoon went up with Mr Hamilton to [bury]
the [head] of the Omahaw which was [sticking[ on a poal near some gone at
the Ioway village. The Inhuman Ioways who kild the Omahaw in the poll cut
off the head and it has been sticking upon a pole ever since in view of the
village. We dug a hole and put it under the ground. How desperate is human
nature when left to its self
The skull was some broken from the
blows it received. But the poor Indians know but little
[Jan 8,
1844 Page 7]
of what is right I know much and great will be my
accountability. May I live in proportion to my knowledge Day moderate and
foggy like the breaking up of spring.
Monday 8th
On
yesterday remained at home while the others went to the village and spent
most of the day in reading was much interrested in the 110 [psily]
particularly in view of the monthly consort upon which was attended at Mr
Hamiltons after having preaching at his house at two. The day was fine and
we had a large congregation. At the village Mr H. was assailed by one of
the war party for having buried the skull of the Omahaw on yesterday.
[Jan 8, 1844 Page 8]
Mr. H. told him if he wanted a
skull stuck up on a pole to cut off his own and put it up. But he said he
wanted the teeath to rattle in a gourd. Mr. H. told him to pull out his own
teethe and rattle them. after sum mor such sharp conversation He said it
was a sad place and he would go away from here. Mr. H. told him not to
touch the head but he said he would dig it up. Feering that he should do
so, I went this evening through the storm and took it up and buried a bout
½ miles distant a an obscure place where he will never find it. How
inhuman they are and unkind in their feelings. This day was different from
yesterday, very [stormy] snow has
[Jan 9, 1844 Page 9]
fell this after noon and evening 4 or 5 inches. We spent part of the day
in surveying the ground fer the [Boarding] School farm.
Tusday
9
In the [puntry] offise all day Had some conversation with No
heart about making the Boarding School, and having Mr Ballard stay and take
a part in it. He is much pleased with the notion, says he wants his
children to have good eyes to see a great distance off meaning ther
understanding. Through the day and last evening I have been much affected
with my comefortable situation and that of my family. We have everything
that we could ask, plenty to eat, a good head, our family in health. and
we know not what it is to suffer
[Jan 10, 1844 Page 10]
fer any thing. True our house is but a cabin and some would say in our
situation that they were poor, but we are wonderful well off. I have my
little room and my family have theirs and I can read and study and print
and no one to disturbe me. O how we [worthy] thear privileges. I pray God I
may be enable to improve these favourable moments for they will not always
last.
Day clear and moderate.
Wedensday 10th.
In the offise moste of the day except part of the afternoon I had
to go with the chiefs to the agents to do some interpreting Today Mrs.
Hamilton was deliver of a Daughter, and as I understood had an easy time.
In the evening
[Jan 11, 1844 Page 11]
went to
prayermeeting at Maj. Richardsons and spoke some from the last chapter of
Duteromomies, with regard to the character of Moses. Think I felt the
importance of being more like that holy man. Day clear and fine and quite
moderate.
Thirsday 10
still in the study attended an
Ioway Council at no hearts and in the evening went with no heart to tell
the agent the result of the Council which was that they employ Mr. Ballard
for farmer another year. Day soft and some rain fell
Friday
11th.
Struck off 160 sheets of 16 pages making 2560 in all after
which I went with Mr. Ballard to the agency to attend to some busines
[Jan 13, 1844 Page 12]
Last evening and this morning was
quite unwell, and this evening still feel some ill but better. How poor is
this fail [XXXXX] dying daily fogy and warm with E. wind, but changed wind
from the W. and is now cold and freesing.
Saturday 13th.
Spent most of the day in the offise distributing type. About 9
oclock some of the Indians, chefs, on some busines of the nation which took
up much of my time and in the evening had to go to the agents. Interpreting
is perplexing busines and was it not for the hope of being able to do the
Indians good I would at once give up the place. But I will try to do what
is right and leave the
[Jan 15, 1844 Page 13]
consequences to God who governs all things for his own glory and the good
of those who put ther trust in him. Day mild and mostly clear
Monday 15
On yesterday Mr. Hamilton did not go to the village,
but Father & I went with Mr. Ballard and the childrens We went to no
hearts to hold meeting but they were just assembling to council about the
Otoes who were coming on a visit. I asked them if the busines was so urgent
that it could not be put off untill tomorrow, but they said the busines was
urgent. I remarked that it was not our wish to force our notions of
religion upon them and took ocassion to introduce this subject that Christ
must have a willing people , and before they ware [XXXXX] something of a
talk made XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX we had some meeting, and in the
afternoon
[Jan 16, 1844 Page 14]
and evening had
meeting at Mr Hamilton
Today Mr. [Groull] came to live in our
old room and work for me. I was in the offise most of the day Yesterday
softer and some rain a wonderful time of mud, a better afternoon we had a
most sudden change Mercury fell mor than 40&UnknownEntity; in 2 hours.
Tusday 16
Spent all the day in council with the Indians.
Day very cold Wind N. W.
Wedensday 17th.
In the
offise all day and verry tired standing up so much In the evening Went to
prayer meeting at Mr. Hamiltons, and had our thoughts
[Jan 18,
1844 Page 15]
directed to the blessing and prosperity promised
to isreal if they would obey and serve the Lord, and the curses denounced
upon the same people for the disobedience. Ho wonderful is the extremes and
not more wonderful than true. This no doubt is a fit representation of the
blessing & curse which attend the conduct of every inteligent being. If
god is obeyed he will bless and if disobeyed he will surely curse. Oh that
I may be noble to give all to the Lord. Day moderate nights clear and day
cloudy. River not frose yet, and no prospect of such a thing.
Thirsday 18
In the offise untill sent for by the agent to
attend to some
[Jan 19, 1844 Page 16]
busines in the
way of interpreting. Day fine warm south wind and mostly clear
Friday 19
Spent most of the day with maj. Richardson who come
with his wife and daughter to visit us. In the evening he and I went out to
no hearts and the shop. We saw an old Otoe who was blind and nearly def who
manifested great frendship for us. In the evening and through the day I was
much affected with my situation. I could not wish it more comefortable and
easy. I have nothing to do [XXXXX[ my pleasure. I mean manual work, but
much of study and [bounty.] May I improve all to the honour of him who
giveth. Day soft but gloomy and wind E.
[Jan 20, 1844 Page
17]
Saturday 20th.
Most of the day in the offise
except some time I spent in visiting some Otoe lodges and some of the
Ioways and also in search of Elish [Derawey] who has been ading as striker,
but who has been absent some time on account as is said of being sick. But
I could not find him and had to return. The Otoes seem to be poor indeed
and much degraded
Day moderate and moist gloomy and no
freesing.
Monday 21st.
Yesterday I was some unwell,
and didnot go to the village but tended meeting in the afternoon at Mr
Hamiltons and also in the evening wher I tried to make some remarks, in
which I had not much
[Jan 21, 1844 Page 18]
liberty.
I was led to reflect that God would be glorified in the creation of [man]
of if not by the salvation by the condemnation. Day gloomy and soft.
Today I was in the offise and in the evening went down to see some
Indians who were camped near among whom was a woman (Nongro mo) who was
verry low perhaps with [pewtired] sore throat. She seems to suffer verry
much indeed and if not releaved must soon sink under her disease. Poor
mortals how much they suffer in this world and may in all probably suffer
in the next
Warm & S.W. afte more clear at about 1 oclock
thermom. stood at 70&UnknownEntity; in the sun, now cold and freesing.
[Jan 22, 1844 Page 19]
Tusday 22nd
Engaged
in seting type moste of the day except what time I was necessarily diverted
from labour by the Indians, much assailed by temptation but hope the Lord
will enable me to over come. In the evening spent some time in reviewing my
critical exercise for presbity Beautiful Day clear warm W. S.
Wedensday 23
In the offise, and in the evening went to Mr
Richardsons to meeting was much assailed by temptations and had much fear
that in one instance I was to some extent over come Oh how poor and sinful
I am. Day clear but mor cold than common.
Thirsday 24
finished seting up a [fer] of 16 p.
[Jan 25, 1844 Page 20]
for the press, and spent some time at my treat exercise, and
assisted Mr Grove to chop down a tree for wood. Was told that a company of
Osages have recently murdered a loge of Otoes How miserable the poor tribes
around us and how careless of the everlasting and our present condition.
Our Ioway and some Otos now here are drinking.
Day cold and
evening cloudy
Friday 25
Busily engaged in the
offise and in the evening struck one side of a sheet, was some unwell
Which always admonishes to prepare for [futurity.] Went down to Wahamonus
an found him in a good humor Day still cold but cloudy & a little
snow.
[Jan 27, 1844 Page 21]
Saturday 27
Verry Busy in the offise all day and late in the evening finished
striking off a sheet of the primary Book Had some humiliating views of my
own unwortheness and of the great Goodness of God in providing me so
abundantly with many good earthly things. I cannot see what more he could
give me that would add to my enjoyment of earthly things I have no riches
but I have as much as I really want and more that I could reasonably ask I
have [lathes] and a shelter, and plenty to eat, and I need nothing more. O
that I may mak a good use of all. Time is going along wonderful fast
another week is gone and sealed up Pardon the rong that is done to God. Day
cold and some cloudy
[Jan 29, 1844 Page 22]
Monday
29
On yesterday I went to the village to try to have a meeting
and succeeded in having some at No hearts, but they were all so engaged in
attending on a great [pipe] dance which the Otoes were making for the
Ioways that but little attention was paid to meeting The day was extremely
cold the Ther. lay 2&UnknownEntity; below 0. and yet these poor creatures
were dancing naked in the open air. Day clear and cold
Tusday
30.
continued to set type moste of the day. On yesterday evening
Mr Perce came over with
[Feb 5, 1844 Page 22a]
some
provisions for the station and Father went with him to the River to get the
things brought up we were very anxious that our wagon from Rubideaux should
come home which has been absent mor than a week. Day very fine S. W. and
[aware] by nights frosty and cool.
Saturday Feb. 3rd.
There has been such a constant monotony in this week of work at the press
and study without any things worthe of note that I have not wrote down any
thing here. On Wedensday we recd some Goods and Books from New York Which
was a welcome receipt. How time seems to pass along! It is astonishing
beyond measure the end will be her soon. Weather continues soft and what
is most remarkable, on wednsday
[Feb 10, 1844 Page 23]
we had considerable thunder and lightening with heavy
rain.
Saturday Feb. 10.
But one or two things of
importance occurred since the last date. My time has been mostly engaged in
the offise and I have this evening got off a math sheet of the Elementary
Book. On Sabath last. It was my lot to speak in the auidence of the people
which I did with some difficulty no having sufficient time to make the
necessary preparations.
On Wedensday morning about 3 oclock Mr.
Ballard and I started for St Joseph we got ther with some difficuly. The
Woolf R. was up and we got some wet in it and it was a most severe cold
night, the Ice was runing in the Mo. and we had hard work to cross there
[Feb 10, 1844 Page 24]
but we suceeded in pushing our
craft through. I went to assist the Ioways in geting some provisions which
they got to the amount of 150$. We got over the R. in the evening and
concluded that we would rather travel home than lay as we would have to,
among the Indians and so come on. We had to unload twise and at Woolf R.
much difficuly on account of the ice. W got home at 5 oclock [XXXXX] [page
is torn so the next few lines don't make sense] enough. I [page torn] think
I am not [page torn] so strong and able [page torn] to stand had troue
[page torn] and wealth as formerly. [page torn] The poor tabernical [page
torn] will soon fall [page torn] common win Weather. [page torn]
[Feb 15, 1844 Page 25]
Thirsday 15
Still engaded
in the offise without any occurrenc worthy of notice except that our last
sabath night just after we had lain down Nancy was taken with a return of
the chollick in a most severe manner. Verry soon after her [XXXXX]
commenced she became deranged and was entirly out of her reason, and
continued so untill wedensday morning she suffered most severely indeed no
one can tell how much she did endure. On Tusday Mr Spencer
[Feb
17, 1844 Page 26]
the methodist surket Rider came down to see
us, but was uncomfortably situated on account of severe pain in a tooth
which I tried to pull but failed. On yesterday evening we had meeting here
at our house in accommodation to Noneyes feelings which while deranged runs
entirely on the subject of Religion. Weather now fine and warm, light
freeses at night.
Saturday 17
With much pleasure was
able to finish printing the last sheet of our primary Book today. It is
swelled to 101 pages. We commenced last june. We hope that it will be very
useful to the schools and we hope with the blessing of God an aid in
[Feb 21, 1844 Page 27]
communicating useful instruction
to the poor Indians. On yesterday Old Mr White Crow died but they were so
drunk that they did not get him buried untill today. They have just come up
from Rubedeaux and many of them are drunk. I donot see that they are
improving in the least. Poor Ioways when will they learn wisdom. Days
still fine and pleasent.
Wedensday 21st.
Still
engaged in printing on Saturday I struck off the lasst sheet for primary
book and was not a little rejoiced at the end of the Book. In sabath
evening spoke some to a small congregation, did not go to
[Mar
2, 1844 Page 28]
meeting at the village. On monday folded my
sheets, and red up the offise. On monday evening got a letter from the
Board but not much encouragement about the school I am now engaged in a
hymn Book & wish to get through as soon as possible. This morning
Issabell came down [soon] with a complaint that peter was about to abuse
her and she wanted to stay at our house which perhaps she must do but much
against my will. In great haste. Days all fine clear and warm with slight
frost at night.
Saturday March the 2nd.
Have been
carried with such rapidity along the tide of time that I have not had time
to note the important occurrences of the time as I ought. Two remarkable
occurrences have transpired since the last
[Mar 2, 1844 Page
29]
date. On last Saturday night Daha to ho, or the
burnt kettle was murdered by his own daughter in a drunken revel at his own
house, and on sabath Mr. B. and I went with his wagon and team to haul the
corpse to the Grave. A few days since an old woman also died, it is thought
mainly from the affects of an uncommon drunken spree. Old Mrs. White Cloud
has lost her little [son], and today [wawtooches] wife was burried so that
they seem to be falling on the right hand and on the left. On last tusday
morning Mr Ballard and family started to move to their farm and home in the
Platt Country, and took with them three Indian children in going which they
had some difficuly from old [wachomonus] [obstency] in refusing to let his
children go.
[Mar 2, 1844 Page 30]
In order, more
affectually to affect his purpose he got drunk this evening before Mr B.
started, and came to the house and alarmed Mrs. B. Mr. B. came to our house
about 2 oclock in the night and I went up to stay with Mr B while she came
down to our house. But they got off in the morning before the Old man got
up and so escape the threats which had ben made the evening before about
whiping Mr. Ballard. Today I went with Mr Hamilton to try to get over the
R. to attend a temprence meeting at [Oryen] but failed in geting across the
R. and came back The weather untill tusday last was very fine, since which
time it has ben more wet, cool and some Boisterous The No. is now quite
high and on the Rise.
[Mar 7, 1844 Page 31]
Thirsday
7th.
On yesterday was called by the agent to go and assist in
geting some whisky traders who have been most [shockingly] cheeting the
Indians. Went to the R. [dreseded] in Indian and went over with two others
but failed in geting a trade. we then went up the R. five or six miles to
another whisky shop but don nothing there and came home. I was quite tired
from my walk. Still engaged in the offise and making some preparations for
presbity, which I expect to attend providen willing in the mdle of the next
month. I am so busy that it seems I can not get time to write here, and yet
I seem to get but little don. But I am a poor miserable sinner and god must
assist and lay too his hand or I will do nothing.
Weather find
and has been so since the last date raining a little now.
[Jan
1, 1845 Page 1]
January 1st. 1845
On last evening Mr.
Alferd and Miller came to our house on busines of the building. They are
both brick masons and both wish the job. Mr. M. was rather dissatisfied
that he did not get the job secured, and Mr. Alferd remained untill after
dinner when he went across at the point, and I went with him that far. In
the evening had prayer meeting at Mr. Hamiltons, and owing to the press of
busines on my mind I did not enjoy myself so well. The day was remarkable
fine very dry and warm.
Thirsday 2nd.
Engaged most of
the day in writing a communication to Mr. Lower
[Jan 6, 1845
Page 2]
with a view to start to St. Joseph on tomorrow The day
most fine
Friday & Saturday 3 & 4
Went to
St. Joseph. made a contract with [XXXXX] to saw our joist, sheeting
&c. and also a contract with a kickapoo chief to get what timber from
him we would want to make the saw-logs got home about dark saturday
night.
Monday 6th.
Yesterday. No meeting among the
Indians, nearly all being about to Robedeaux for goods. Had meeting as
usual at Mr. H. in the afternoon and at night rather cold and indifferent
busines seems
[Jan 7, 1845 Page 3]
to press me sore.
Yesterday was one of the finest that surely ever was warm as spring and
clear and dry as could be
Tusday 7th.
Moste of the
day in the house writing, and part of the day made a coffin for Wachamonges
little son who died early this morning. A new hand come on this evening,
now to [hix] hands which requires not a little care and attention, and
seems much to distract my mind Last night there was some snow fell, but
was gon by noon, now pleasant, night freezes moderately
Wedensday 8
Spent moste of the day in the house writing except
what
[Jan 9, 1845 Page 4]
time was necessary to go
go down to W. kreek Bottom to look for wood &c. to make lime fer our
building. While there I was take with [XXXXX] my [XXXXX] and was scarcely
able to walk home. In the evening we had meeting at the Agts. and when
there found some letters one of which was from the Board with a new plan
for the house.
Thirsday 9
Spent moste of the day in
the house, not being well or scarcly able to do much Day wonderful fine.
Night freezing ^ days above freezing point.
[Jan 10, 1845 Page
5]
Friday & Saturday 10 & 11
Busily engaged
in the printing offise printing a question Book and striking some forms for
the agt. and am now very tired scarcly willing to write -- Day
asstonishingly fine like sumore. Night freese gentily days thaw
moderately.
Monday 13. St. Joseph Mo.
On yesterday I
remained at home, - did not go to the Indians but spent moste of the time
in reading and in the afternoon went to meeting at Mr. Hamiltons, but after
night I remained at home and all the rest, except Mary went.
This morning I started as soon as I conveniently could with
[Jan 14, 1845 Page 6]
Maj. Richardson to St. Joseph on busines
of the mission or the mission improvement. My main object was to contract
fer the brick work but not finding the man at home I was detained to no
purpose except that I as not a little uneasy to get back. Felt much
unhappiness on being somuch exposed to strangers and the busines of the
world which it seems in my situation I cannot well avoid. Day fine but
some cooler that yesterday.
Thermometer at 70 in the shade
Tusday 14
Mr. Miller didnot get home untill late in the
afternoon, and it was not untill near sundown that I got my busines
[Jan 15, 1845 Page 7]
closed and ready to start home.
late however as it was I started home about sun set and was permited to
reach home about 10 oclock. I must confes that I am at all times, when away
too anxious to get home, so much so that I act imprudently. If I had the
same untireing anxiety about geting to my home in the heavens it would
perhaps be better for me This evening was so warm, later as it was, that I
could not with comfort ride with mittens on It was infact like the summer
Ther. over 60º --
Wedensday 15
Today went with
Mr Fermen to the rush aisland to take up
[Jan 16, 1845 Page
8]
some oxen and bring down one yoke for our own use was moste
of the time unwell, severe head ake and had cold went to bed on reaching
home and was up but little and took some medicine which still added to my
sickness. Day moist and soft with some fog or mist of rain
Thirsday 16
Did not do much except assist Mr. Hamilton some in
the offise in geting up some forms &c. wass quite unwell all day and
unfit for doing much Day more cooll wind from the No. some little snow and
appearence of rough weather
Friday 17
Assisted some
in
[Jan 18, 1845 Page 9]
The offise today and in the
afternoon went to the stone quary to see how things were geting along there
am some better, and desire to thank a praise the living and true God for
all his benefits Day cold and clear, but beautiful.
Saturday
18
In the forenoon put up the meat to Smoke and laid out some
for the Indians, and in the afternoon went down with to the Indians, and
also went a cross the branch to our Indian tent and found a large bare skin
which I bought for my friend Andrew Buchan of Pa. This was a most
beautiful day, but rather cold Mercury at 20º shade.
[Jan
28, 1845 Page 10]
Tusday 28th.
Since the last date
have been busily engaged in busines for the building. On last friday I went
to St. Joseph on busines of the improvement. mainly to get money. I
returned the same day about eleven oclock much fatigued fer the ride must
have been more than 50 miles which is hard for these days. The press of
seccular busines has not a little disturbed my mind, and deranged my
calculations for study, but all is right if I am in the line of my duty. I
find in my mind a wonderful inclination to run after things of this world
and to study about the improvement now on hand. It is perhaps the polasy
[Jan 28, 1845 Page 11]
of the Devil to make attention to
this busines seem of wonderful importance so as to foil me and [lead] me
away from things which are spiritual and eternal. No doubt he improves my
opertunity of doing his work, which in my case is many instances
prossecuted with great success The weather still continues wonderful
fine.
on wedensday evening we had a rain which terminated in a
snow of about three inches deep. We all thought that severe cold would
follow, but it has again become quite moderate ground bare, roads fine and
all very pleasant. It far surpasses what we have ever seen in this county
or in any other.
[Feb 1, 1845 Page 12]
Saturday Feb.
1st. 1845
Have been engaged in geting materials for the house,
such as rafters sleepers &c. on thrsday we had some company of young
folks from St. Joseph with Mr Hall & his lady which took up moste of
the day. On yesterday I went to the mouth of Wollf River to get some
sleepers. worked hard and was so tired that I could not rest well in the
night Much perplexed about the busines. of the house On Wedensday there
were three masons came from the other side of the River to get the mason
work of the house and it is not a little perplexing
[Feb 13,
1845 Page 13]
to attend to such busines. I am truly
weary of it.
Thirsday 13th.
Been mainly engaged since
the last date in seeing to the things about the house and in making
preparations for the meeting of presbytery &c. My time goes on. I can
hardly tell how. The time is past and God Recd I can hardly tell how it has
been spent. But the great day will disclose wonders that I perhaps have
long since for God. O that I might be ready fer that Great day Weather
continues most fine untill today is some cloudy and appearences of rain,
some Lightening, this evening.
[Feb 14, 1845 Page 14]
Friday 14
Spent near all the day in the printing offise
printing off the first sheet of the Testament in Ioway. we struck off 240
sheets of half a ream and having taken some pains in putting type and balls
in order we made quite a good impression. Had some trial in mind with
regard to some occurrences past which Mr. H. and I had in conversation. But
all is fer the best and I would try to improve from all that I learn. Day
very snowey Last night we had some rain and it frose as it fell, covering
all that it fell upon with ice. Soon after sunrise it turned to snow and
continued all day with a smart wind from the west which made it the
severest storm we have had this year.
[Feb 15, 1845 Page 15]
Saturday 15
Spent most of the day in preparing a talk
for tomorrow as it is the wish of Mr. H. that I if spared and willing
should fill up the time on tomorrow. My mind at Mr. H. Suggestion was
directed to solomons conclusion. ``God created man upright but he hath
sought out many inventions. All I will do is to enlarge a little on these
two remarks solomon 1 of Man was created upright 2nd He has sought out many
inventions Day cool cloudy and wind N.E.
Monday 17
On yesterday I in the forenoon went to the village or encampment with
Father and Nancy and we had meeting at meries house [XXXXX]. At
[Feb 14, 1845 Page 16]
one oclock we had meeting at Mr. H. and
I attempted to talk from the words which I had thought over on yesterday
``God created man upright but he has sought out many Inventions, and in the
evening I made some additional remarks from the same subject. In the
evening had more freedom than through the day Day one of the finest ever
that could be warm south wind an clear warm since but it was very sloppy
and mudy roads on account of the snow which melted off wonderful fast
Today I spent moste of the time in preparing my trial sermon for
presbyery which I find some difficult to do as I cannot keep in proper
bounds of length. Day fine but not so warm as yesterday.
[Feb
18, 1845 Page 17]
Tusday 18 1845
Spent moste of the
day in my study preparing my trial sermon except some time I assisted the
hands in fixing some sleepers fer the new house. About 12 oclock Mr. Craig
and Mr. Faber of Oregan came to our house had dinner and some talk and
again return to oregan that night. This day was most fine warmer and
pleasant. vegitation is in some places I its I.
Saturday 11
Spent most the time since the last date on my trial Sermon, have
got all the rough materials that I need to frame it up and much more than I
will be able atall to use
[Feb 18, 1845 Page 18]
On
the day before yesterday a no. of the Ioways come to the station to fer
[XXXXX] our making a fence which we had commenced as a pasture enclosur for
an cattle and we afterwards understood that it was their intention to ask
M. H. to leave, but they did not mention it when with us. They wer not
unfrendly but quite pleasant and although we were vexed and disappointed
yet, some one else is no doubt more to blame than the poor Indians. Much
troubled in mind about this and other things and the low state of Religion.
When will the poor Indians learn wisdom Weather generally mild and moist
Last night some snow but today disappeared Tonight clear and will be
frost.
[Jan 1, 1849 Page 1]
January 1st. 1849
I have for some time been rather irregular in my journal, partly
from neglect and partly from the fact of my affairs being so monotonous
that there were but few things really worth recording. But I think it will
be best to resume it and try to keep it up more regular as I think a
reference to it is at times useful.
The year has commenced with
favour. I spent most of the day in the study makeing some preparations fer
the coming sabath upon which it is proposed that we have a commen [page
unreadable at this place] My leisure hours wer spent in arranging some
things more conveniently about our kitchen and Mr. Hamilton & I spent a
part of the evening in [XXXXX] bargaining about his staying one year which
he agrees to do
[Jan 2, 1849 Page 2]
Upon reviewing
the past year I fear I have not grown any in grace. It is a fearful
thought, ``one year near death and the judgment and no better prepared in a
whole year.
This year I will strive to be more watchful and
attentive and try to make some progress. May God in his mercy assist me so
to do.
Tusday 2nd.
Spent most of this day also in the
study except what time was taken up in waiting on some of our neighbours
who came in to help us eat two turkeys. We had a pleasant afternoon
together. We dined near 60 persons once in our dining room. The Agent and
son [Mems Hirmans.] How's and wife & Mr. Hardey wer here In the evening
prepared a blank book to note the temparature of the weath this year.
[Jan 3, 1849 Page 3]
Wedensday 3rd.
Spent
part of the day in hauling some wood and found it very difficult on account
of the very deep snow upon the ground, which is now near 2 feet deep. In
the evening we attended an little prayer meeting, and after meeting Mr.
McCreary arived from the Nodawy bringing with him two fine turkeys
Thirsday 4th.
Commenced teaching school In the afternoon W.
Lawrence from New York who is a travelling agent for a wholesale house
there and who is a warm frend of missions came to our house and thinks of
staying with us untill monday
Friday 5
Continued
teaching, and in the evening our sacramental meeting commenced. It was my
lot to preach which was attended to at candle light.
[Jan 6,
1849 Page 4]
Saturday 6
Spent part of the day with
Mr. Lawrence an dpart of the day in making preparation for meeting. It fell
to my lot to preach this evening again. My freedom was not great though I
talked an hour and a quarter, in trying to show that the tendency of grace
in the heart was to holiness of life
Sabath 7
Preaching at 11 and sacrement afterward by Mr. Hamilton. Nothing
specially interesting Had two pleasant meeting with the children in Sabath
School, mainly from the interest which Mr. Lawrence took in the children.
He spoke well to them and seemed much pleased with their progress.
In the evening he gave us a long account of the benevolent institutions
& operations of New York, and I followed with a few remarks.
Monday 8
resumed the school at 9 oclock
[Jan 9,
1849 Page 5]
Mr. Lawrence left at 9 In the evening Mr. Hamilton
preached again.
Our meeting is over and we do not seem to be
much refreshed on the contrery I fear we are growing more and more cold.
There appears to be something wrong perhaps I am the [Akan.] Oh my soul be
on thy guard.
Tusday 9
Continued in the School
without any change. On yesterday Col Vaughn the agt. brought back one of
the schollars and whiped him fer running off in presence of the School, had
[wawkoochur] cutting some wood today and about noon recd. a quarter of Beef
from Mr. Forman. In the evening [unreadable] a letter to Uncle McCreary.
Wedensday 10th.
Continued teaching, In the afternoon was
much anoid by an old man who came into the school on account
[Jan 11, 1849 Page 6]
of his extreme disregard to modesty
before the children, I admonished on the subject but he said he was an old
man, and poor and destitute of a breech cloth, and wished us to give him
one. It was old [montoyeraya] He was after me to haul wood for him and
[XXXXX] with some other blind persons who were living together.
In the evening had meeting and I spoke from the story of the blind man
being restored to sight by the Saviour, as recorded in the 9th of John, had
some freedom
Thirsday 11th.
In the morning found
that some mischievous young men had been among the hogs last night 3 were
missing and one was sill living with 3 arrows in it. Went to the tents but
made no discoveries except a track of the blod in that direction. Went to
the Agent with the arrows, and informed him. He was much displeased and
intends chastising those who he may find guilty.
[Jan 12, 1849
Page 7]
Spent the day in dragging up wood with the oxen which
was slavish on account of the depthe of the snow. Dined at Mr. Hamiltons.
To day Mr. Bishnel came to take away his daughter Catharin to St. Joseph,
we objected and insisted on his leaving her untill the spring. He deferd
decission on the matter till morning.
Friday 12th.
Spent most of the day in the study arranging papers and some thing
preparity to my contemplated journy to the east in the spring. In the
afternoon had a visit from Col. Vaughn and gave him a draft for [XXX]
dollars.
Saturday 13
Spent forenoon at the study and
afternoon in overhalling on meat and resalting it.
Sabath.
14
After preaching at eleven and in the afternoon went to see
[wowkooche] and [totomonyer]. found the last house
[Jan 15, 1849 Page 8]
in considerable distress from blind
persons and but little to eat. I put a full account of these conditions in
an other place to be used in a lecture.
Monday 15 Hauld wood
for the destitute formerly I visited yesterday and took them a piece of
meat. They were truly thankful Spent the remainder of the day in writing to
Mr. Lawrence a report of our mission It is late and I am cold and cant
write to satisfaction.
Tusday 16
The forenoon was
spent in getting wood and fixing a gait and some offers about the kitchen.
It seems to require nearly the time of our person to attend to little
matters about the house. Afternoon spent mostly in the study and answering
the calls of the Indians, and also writing some letters. Strongly tempted
at times to make some arrangement about leaving the mission. I feell
[Jan 19, 1849 Page 9]
that I suffer much from a wont of
systam in my reading and study without this nothing can be done to
advantage. How easy it is to loose time it is like a thief that is always
on the wing and Eer we are aware it is gone. Made some preparation for the
next sabath for preaching from the 1st. verse of the 41 psalm.
Friday evening 19th.
On Wedensday morning I commenced teaching
and have now taught 3 days. There is so much XXXXX] in each days labours
that it is useless to note each one separately. On wedensday evening I recd
a small pacage from St. Joseph, but with only some papers, no letters. This
evening I have spent in trying to look over the discourse which I expect to
use on the sabath. On last evening Mr. Harris was here and staid untill
[nate] and the evening was spent in conversation on various subjects, but
little to the point of religion. How easy it is to spend an evening or a
day without a word on this point
[Jan 25, 1849 Page 10]
Tusday 23rd.
Still engaged in teaching with out anything new.
On Saturday No heart come home and had his little daughter to go up and see
them and they retained her all night on Sabath I tried to preach from 41st
v. But had not much freedom.
This evening Andrew Meyers came
over and brought some papers of interest to Mr. Hamilton.
[Feb
25, 1849 Page 11]
Feb. 25th.
Since the last date not
much that is interesting has occurred. No chang in the no. of Schollars in
the school. On last week I was teaching and the week previous was at st.
joseph on Friday a Saturday and at Mr. McCrearis on monday a tusday and on
Wedensday come home. sufferd much from cold.
Today I was not so
well being threatened with epedemick cold or influenza. Sowed some grass
seed on the yards, and in the morning done some writing for Mr. McCrery who
intends to start to California in the spring
Note Totomonga who
has lost his eyes that if Jesus Christ was here on earth and he could see
the saviour he would ask him for a new pare of eyes, and a new heart,
though he was not particular about the heart his old was prety good and he
could get along well enough with a new pare of eyes!
[Feb 28,
1849 Page 12]
28th. Feb.
Since the last date I have
not done anything worth noting except that I have been attending some to
the greek language My cold and cough has so much increased that I can do
but little. Today I sowed some Grass seed on the yards and put on some
[pailings]
Last night was very much troubled with cough and
today with horceness on yesterday Mr. McCreary went over the River crossing
on the ice He had been here with Robert fixing a wagon for California. He
with a number of others are deep in the gold fever
How great
reason to mourn over my low estate and the coldness of my love which does
not appear to be in the least increasing but rather growing worse
[Cover not transcribed]
[undated address page 1]
Gentlemen Volunteers!
It is to redeem a promise made at the
earnest solicitation of your Respected officers that I appear before you.
And it is with mingled gratitude and sorrow that I meet with you today.
Greatful to the father of all our mercies for the common and abundent
blessings of his providence Greatful that we have among us so many that
are willing to volunteer in the defence of our frontier, the protection of
our citizens In the Indian country and as we humbly hope to promote the
interests of our distressed and downtrodden aborigines. In view of the
steps you have so cheerfully taken, we may safely conclude that there is in
the commonwealth of Mo. a sufficient spirit of patrotism and self
consecration to meet the demands of the most rapit and pressing immergency.
But on the other hand When we look at this armory. These great and these
little guns, these baynots and these swords, formed fer the purpose of
[healling] death and desolation among our own species, it fells the super
heart with sorrow. There is a wonderful contrast, and alarming descrepency,
-- An irreconcileable difference, between the feelings of the
philanthropist and refined mind, and the practical consequences of war When
we see the affectionat wife, and tender mother watching with prayerful
& tearful interest over the dying husband or child clomplaining that
life is so short that the pains of death are so severe, and that the
separation of the tender cords of affection are so pungent, we cannot but
look with astonishment and sorrow, at these armorial formed expressly for
produse this most painful and trying result.
But such is the
depravity of the human
[undated address page 2]
heart and such the state of human society that military disciplin and
forece cannot well be dispensed with. While therefore we would contialy
pray for the appearence of the happy day when men shall ``beat the swords
into plough sheers and their swords into prooning hooks'' we must submit to
imperious necessity, and prossecut the accomplishment of a desired object
in a way which we would not under more auspicious circumstances chase.
A few remarks therefore 1st. with regard to the people whether you
are going, and 2d. to yourselves will embrace all that I have now to say to
you.
With regard to the people among whom you are going I would
beg leave to remind you that they are by no means your equals. They are
inferous in every respect. You will not meet them as Nepolian met
Wellington on the plains of Waterloo, with equal skill and equal means, but
you will find these a feble comparably & cowardly people destitute of
arms, and of military skills, utterly unable to mentain a successful
conflict against an equal number, and it will be in granting as far as
possible extenuation to these feble people that your true greatness and
valour may appear. It is always a mark of cowardism & weakning to see
the strong unnecessarily tryumphing over the weak. Some may mistake the
wild [Huzzaurs] and the [XXXXX] hury of the persuing army on the rear of a
vanquish fore as the [Eineasments] of courage and bravery, and it is in
such situations that some men can only be courageous, but it is hoped that
none of this company entertain such flagrant notions or will practise such
inconsistencies.
[undated address page 3]
You might
bear in mind too that you are going into their own country. we are
advancing on them, not they upon us. And here I might remark that it
requires the very highest offences or causes to justify a christian notion
in introducing arms into a heathen country. We as christians & nursing
fathers and nursing mothers should rather if possible be sending them
cradles to rock their infants than cannon to exterminate their fathers.
They have trouble some of our emigrants, but what right had our emigrants
there? Where is the treaty granteing to them the right to pass? What
Remuneration has been given for the Hundreds & thousands of buffalow
belong to the Indian tribes but [XXXXX] slaughtered by our emigrants?
They may have violated treaty stipulations but they cannot look
upon these promises as binding as we. They neither understand nor
appreciate, the force of commercial or moral obligation or promise as we
and hence I plead that all possible indulgences be granted.
Before going farther let me remark that these suggestions are not
intended as I will soon sho you to encourage you in the violation of any
from an officer. No Gentlemen Obedience to command is your inferous duty,
but what I insist upon is that you excutions be made in view of kindness to
the Indians. In this there is a great deal, an order may be issued and in
executing that order you may incline far to the side of cruelty & not
throw yourself responsibly or you may incline far to the side of kindness
and mercy without overstepping the province of your instructions, and in
these extremes there may be as much difference as though the order was of a
different kind
[undated address page 4]
What I ask
then is that you incline to the side of kindness, and if you [r] atall [r]
on the side of mercy.
Again I would ask you to bear in mind that
you are going among a people of extreme poverty, and the little that they
have is [eard] by the hard labour of the females. You will find small
[XXXXX] of corn, the avails of female industry, and if your orders will
allow it spare these, neither wantonly destroying them without special
instruction or allowing your animal to interrupt them. If you find the
retreat of the lazy wariors the shade however where he passes his long
hours anything the distruction of which will ultimately or directly put him
to work or ultimately better his condition I have not one word to say fer
him but the work of the female & helpless I plead for Remembering this
touchy [XXXXXXXX] in [XXXXX].
If therefore in the prosecution of
your purpose you should come in colusion with any of the Indian tribes I
have in one word to ask you to act the part of Gentlemen and of
christians
[undated address page 5]
The 2nd thing
proposed was remarks to yourselves.
&1st. much of your
happiness comfort and honour depends on your scrupulous observation of an
obedience to all orders from officers. It is unnessy for me to speak of my
confidence in the kindness & prudence of your officers. They are your
own choise taken out from among you, and I trust that you find yourselves
very happy in the selections you have made. It will therefore be your duty
and privilege to obey [XXXXX] their commands. There are many good reasons.
On this depends very much your sucess and personal safety. If
all are disposed to give command and disobey orders where is the safety and
order of your company, disorders of this kind weaken your fase and expose
you to the enemy. ``In union there is strength,'' and your safety and
comfort both personal and collective depends, upon a concentration of your
strength, and this can only be accomplished by a careful obedience to the
command of your officers.
Your comfort depends much on this It
is in the power of your officers to do much for your comfort, or expose you
to difficulties It will therefore be an importent matter to gain the
confidence and regard of your officers, that it may be their object to
smothe your way through a souldiers. And you may set it down as an
established fact that there is nothing so much endears men to a discreet
officer than a cheerful and active obedience to what may be required. This
is the way too to honour. Who does not like a well organized and trained
company, it is the credit of both officers
[undated address
page 6]
and privets. and to a company making such exhabitions
honour is alike due to officers and men and though the company may be
spoken of as a whole yet every individual forming a part of that company
has a part in the honours
This I might remark too is the sure
way to promotion and personal honour & distinction. It is along this
humble path of obedience that many great men have in their first out-set
cheerfully trodden. It is unfortunately the case that [XXXXX] some that
they cannot with patients endure an humble position That they are
constantly aspiring, looking with a jealous eye upon supperours, and
disposed to use unfair means for promotion, but it requires more than human
skill to obscure such a spirit, and when it is once discovered by a
superour, an end is perhaps put to his oppertunities of elevation
2d. I would remind you of the necessity of a strict regard to your
personal character and manners It is to [XXX]emented that the scale of
improvement & refinement in the ordinary ranks of the souldier are so
low, and it is a fact we cant resist that usually there is a great degree
of [bycentiousness] in the martial ranks. The peculiar circumstances in
which the souldier is placed, away from the influences and restraints of
domestick and improved society, and associated as they must necessarily be
with with the lower classes of society, of which the souldiery is usually
composed, tend strongly to such ends, we can hardly expect another result.
But Gentlemen much better things will be expected of you. You leave
characters at home which we humbly trust will not be tarnished by this
adventure. Many of you too leave
[undated address page 7]
families, and all of your near and dear friends who look with great
anxiety to your comfert prosperity and happiness, as well as to your speady
and honourable return, and when you have accomplished the work you have
undertaken, and shall have been permited to return to your native land and
commingle with society we hope that it may never be said of any of this
noble band, that they have contracted a bad habit or lost a good trait in
this campaign.
Society at home is on the advance and that you
may return to it without imbaresment it is necessy that you not only retain
your present improvements, but that you also make advancements. Your
advancement in refinement may be promoted in various ways, such as respect
fer your officers a regard for each other, prudent and careful restraints
of the tongue, attention to personal neetness and manners and many ways
which I cannot now mention, but all of which are in the nature and tendency
calculated to endear you to your officers and to each other as well as
promote your present and future happiness
Your personal conduct
Permit me to all a remark with regard to the people among whom you are
going. You should ever keep in mind that though ignorent and poor they are
rational and accountable beings, being with whom we must stand assembled at
the great day of accounts. Some seem to suppose that Indians have but
little more rationalaty or accountability than the vile animal of the
praries. But they are in their own way a shrude, observing compasing and
classifying peoples, and this adventure being the first of the sort
undertaken among them, your
[undated address page 8]
conduct will shape their notions, and opinions of white men fer many
generations. It will therefore be desirable that you act with all becoming
order and discreteness towards them, exercising no unnecessary cruelty,
offering no insult or violence, and in every respect observing the
established rools of morality and order, and it will be found that a
careful observation of things will not only make a strong and lasting
impression on the minds of the Indians with regard to civilization and the
character of the whites, but it will have a most happy affect on your own
mind in mentaining and promoting the principals and practices of virtue
& charity which you have already imbibed
[undated address
page 9]
4th. And finally Let me improve this oppertunity to
admonish you to a serious contemplation of your future destany. The journy
you have entered upon is a fit emblem of the journy of life. New scenes
through which you have not before past, are coming before you so in life
something new is [XXXXX] arising. You donot know where you will be
stationed or whe your term of service will end, neither do you know when
you can find a permanent resting place in the world or when death may
discharge you from the eventful and [XXXXX]some campaign of life. The
threatening storms of winter before you, and your anxiety to provide
shelters for protection and comfert may remind you of the storms of
infinite displeasure in reserve fer the unpenetent & wicked and the
necessity of a shelter and place of safety. (Let therefore every
circumstance which may seround you and condition in which you may be placed
be made subservient to serious reflection and contemplation)
It
can hardly be supposed that you will all return to your families and
friends. Already death has entered your ranks, and some of you no doubt are
litterly on your journy to the grave. Soon after you shall have selected
your milatery past you will have to select a grave yard and some of you
must enter the [XXXXX] preemption on the sacred ground. A few reports of
musquets or cannon may anounce the event but when these trancient sounds
die away upon the air, forgetful ness will begin to cover your names, and
the [XXXXX] dance of human affairs will pass on as though you had never
existed. But there is a role of victory a crown of glory a [XXXXX]
[XXXXX] for the brow of the faithful souldier who loves his country
[undated address page 10]
and his god, to which we
recommend you fer true honour and enduring happiness, and be assured that
when you take your toilesome and eventful way across the broad prairie our
prayers joined with all your friend will most cheerfully follow you, fer
your personal comfort and your speady and safe return.
[Mon the
10th Page 1]
Monday 10th.
Returned from the meeting
of Presb. At Platt City. I had left home on monday a week ago. On leaving
home I went to Mr. McCrearies and staid over the night, found the friends
there all well except Mrs. McCreary who has for some time been ill with
chills. On monday I passed by Oregon and visited my friend Mrs P. Fouts and
Mrs. Craig & Mrs. McLaughlin who I had not seen for some time and who
made me a most hearty welcome.
Tusday started early and dined at
the house of my friend Mr. Rhorer. Mr. R. was not at home but his wife made
every manifastation of affection and had me a fine dinner. I was much
distreased in having to communicate to her the intelligence that I had
concluded to remain at the mission and had abandoned every notion of going
to the Nodaway to preach. But this kind lady took a very sensible view of
the subject and for the sake of the Indians cordially acquiesced in what
seemed to be the will of God. As she said we had advantages, and facilities
for operating among the Indians which would require others years to obtain.
After dinner I went on and called with my friend Mr. Elliott where I put up
for the night. In the evening I went over on foot to see Dr Smith who
resides about ½ mile distence. I meet the doctor on the way coming
to meet me and we went to his house together. It was a beautiful evening
indeed clear and fine. The new of my determination to remain was of small
moment to the Dr. as he had already sold his place and was to leave.
[Mon the 10th Page 2]
After a good supper and a friendly
talk I returned to Mr. Eliotts where I spent the night. I thought my friend
Mr. Elliott was most cast down about my not going down than any of my
friends
On Wedensday morning I went to Saint Joseph and put up
with Maj. Richardson for the night where I was most kindly entertained The
afternoon was spent in attending to some busines transactions with the
merchants.
Thursday I started for Plot Yantes In Skeep Fulton,
Scott & others who seemed truly glad to meet with me, for it was now
three years since I had meet with them.
Bro. Fulton opened
Presb. with a discourse at candle lighting and afterwards the session of
Presb with prayer, after which adjouned Friday spent most of the day in
Presbytery, at eleven oclock Bro. Scott preached and at night I attempted
to preach but my cough was so bad that it was with the utmost difficulty
that I could proceede and indeed did not pretend to finish my discourse. It
was from Luke 24 26 ``Ought not Christ to have suffered these things''
&c.
On Saturday I came on my way home as far as St. Joseph
and put up as usual at my friend Richardsons. I had the misfortune to leave
my watch at Mr. Jacks the place where I stayed all night. I had the
privilege of sojourning with an old gentleman and lady the name of jack
They are very fine people and I think christians in heart, it is a
privilege to meet with such
[Tues the 11th Page 3]
On
Sabath I attemp to preach twise fer the Presbyterian and Baptist brethern
jointly and was enabled to do so with some comfert and ease to myself,
though I was troubled some with cough. In the evening had a fine attendence
I spoke from these words ``He that hath this hope in him purifieth himself
even as he is pure''
Reached home today in rather better health
than I had expected and was much gratified to find all well.
Tusday 11 went with Ray & Tinken to the mouth of Woolf Creek to get
some timber for posts, I was much exhausted and scarcely able to ride but
after a little rest get some better.
Wedensday 12th.
Planted a bushels of early potatoes and in the afternoon started Robert
at the plough to prepare for planting corn. The weather is so very dry that
it seems scarcely necessary to plant anything untill we have some rain.
Thirsday 13
Forenoon Mr. DuEtt & I went to the grove
near Hiwathoches village to get some timber for making palings. After some
hard work we got some and reached home about two oclock In the afternoon I
went to hunt the horses and had a long ride and finally found them not far
from home contemplated if spared to start over the River in the morning
with Mrs. Irvin and miss Davis on a visit to Mr. McCrearies Day beautiful
clear and rather cool very dry indeed there has not for a long time over
such a very long and dry time as there is now and has been for some
time.
[Fri the 14th Page 4]
Friday 14
This
morning according to previous Arrangement Eliza & I with Baby Elliott
and Miss Davis (School mistress) started over the river on a visit, or
rather an errend of kindness to to see Mrs. McCreary who, for a long time
has been ill and who, we have heard is no better. We reached Oregon about
12 oclock and were kindly recd and dined at Mr. Zooks after which we went
on. Our direction was north and the wind was cool from that quarter with a
little rain which made it quite severe for us and particularly for the
little babe, about 7 miles from Oregon, Mrs. Irvin fell from her horse in
crossing a branch because of the place being very bad and the saddle
turning. Elliott too fell with her, but a kind providence preserved them
from being injured in the evening we reach our place in safety, and I found
Mrs. McCreary some better.
Saturday 15
This morning
found our horses missing which caused a good mornings walk before
breakfast, and without success. After breakfast Mr. Mc. & I. He on a
horse and I on foot started in search of the horses and found them without
much difficulty. After a short stay and doing some busines I started
homewards where I reached about dark. All were well and getting along
comfortabelly. Found a letter from Mr. Laurence Authorising us to buy
Lariet or to advance the money for his freedom which will be a pleasent
affair for him.
[Mon the 17th Page 5]
Monday 17
On yesterday I remained at home and heard Mr. Hamilton preach. I am
so afflicted with cough and horseness that I am almost unfit for anything,
and think I shall not attempt to preach untill I am some better. After
meeting visited some of the Indian lodges to talk to them found the woman
mostly away getting stuff to improve their houses. As we were about going
to leave Mr. Hamilton discovered some Indians at the stable getting off one
of our horses. We though it must have been an Otoe, as there are some of
them now here. I got a horse and pursued in the direction by moon light as
fast as I could and travld in all about 8 miles but on my return found the
taken horse at home He had returned a little before me. I suppose they
were so closely pursued that they had left the road and thought it best to
leave the horse Today still unwell, partly from medicine taken last night.
In the fornoon painted our rooms and in afternoon prepared some postes to
enclose more securely our yard. This evening there is some rain with high
wind from N.
Tusday 18
So unwell that I did but
little except still work some on the preparations for our yard enclosure
The day was coll and still continues very dry so that it seems almost
useless to plant or sow anything wind generrally from the North
[Wed the 19th Page 6]
Wedensday 19th
Still unwell
and unable to do much but work a little on the yard.
Thirsday
20
According to appointment I went to the River to meet Mrs. I
and the children who were expected to be there in care of Mr. Adamson, on
his way here to do some carpenter and cabinet work.
Was delayed
At the River untill about 3 oclock, in which time the S. B. Martha came up
and landed for wood. I in coming over had much difficulty and some danger
on account of the high water and drift which abounded. Did not reach home
untill after dark, but was much pleased and I trust thankful to find our
family all again together. On our way home took with us to the Miss. Mary
Childs who had been on a visit to her mother. Day warm but no rain.
Friday & Saturday 21 & 22d Spent with Mr. Adamson on fixing
a portion of the yard fence, on this evening Mr. Hamilton returned with the
wagon from St. Joseph and brough a letter from Mrs Hall & also from Mr.
Littlejohn. The latter was quite refreshing as it brought enformation of a
pleasing revivel and also bore the evident tokens of the influences of the
spirit of God on the heart of the Individual who wrote.
Sabath.
23rd. Unable to preach and much of the time in bead. My Cough is sever and
is rather increasing.
Monday 24th. Assisted some at the yard and
also to assist Mr. A. in commencing
[Wed the 26th Page 7]
on improvement on the steeple which is very necessary to keep the
water out. But was not able to do much.
Tusday 25 Engaged in
teaching all the day while Mr. Hamilton went to the woods to seek some
timber to make palings No Rain yet and very cool
Wedensday
26th. Taught School as on yesterday, while in School an old man came in
over 60 years of age, I would suppose, and it was pleasing to see one of
the Schollars, a child of perhaps 4 or 5 years old read to him
intelligtelly in his own language.
Thirsday 27 On last evening
our cows were missing, the fence having been put down (by we suppose by
some mischievous Indians. And this morning I started to seek them, leaving
soon after 4 oclock while all were yet sound asleep. I soon got on the
trail of the cattle, and it was evident they had been driven by some
Indians After much search on foot and on horse, aided in part by their
track through the prairie, I found all the cattle, and reached home about 8
oclock much rejoiced. God wonderfully restrains these poor people from
doing us and our property harm. How easy it would be for them to destroy
our property and all we have! So much pain in my head and so unwell that I
got but little done except a little at the yard with the assistence of Mr.
[Dwill], and Mr. Adamson in the afternoon. In the evening some rain very
gentle & refreshing. It was thought that the commet was seen last
night.
[Fri the 28th Page 8]
Friday 28th.
So much pain in the head from my ride yesterday, and unwell that I was
not able to do much except assist some about the work on the farm and about
the yard
Saturday 29
Assisted in preparing some
ground and planting some potatoes and in the afternoon went with Mr.
Hamilton to the encampment of the Oregon emigrants, where he preached and I
made a few remarks in conclusion. From siting on the ground and being
exposed to the wind I became very could and after returning home was taken
with severe vomiting which continued at interval through the night. I was
very sick all the night but was rather stupid from Laidnum.
Sabath.
Lay all day in bed very weak, and feble, but not
suffering much pain
Monday may 1st Well enough to teach school
fer Mr. Hamilton today but feell squeamish and rather unwell this evening.
Some appearence of rain this evening.
[Fri, June 23rd Page 9]
Friday June 23d.
At noon while reading the late news of
the Gen. Assemb Mr. Ferman rode in haste to the door saying he wished Mr.
H. and I to go ove quick as a little boy had been badly injured in the mill
he though most likely killed. We went over, we found that but one leg was
injured. It had been drawn in between the large [trenip] wheal and one of
the sills of the mill [XXXXX] a pass of not made if any over a half inch
and was most terribly brusian. The bone as well as the flesh being crushed
to pieces. There was no possibility of saving the foot and low part of the
leg, and it was so brusised that we had to cut it a little below the knee,
cutting off both bones afresh and the fleshy part of the calf. Having no
surgons saw we got a saw sharped up which Mr. Tinker had fer sawing Iron.
It was a most severe operation but the little fellow stood it well
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