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Carry Amelia Nation diary and scrapbook

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[handbill]


11th Anniversay
Knights of Momus

March 1st 1881 Galveston

Opera House


[hanbill (reverse)]


Galveston



[unnumbered a]


Love Chidings
Why thus do you try me?
Why thus do you fly me?
Why thus  deny me
Day after day

Hast thee no feeling
To see me kneeling
My love rebuking
Day after day

Thee have I loved dearly
Yes madly sincerely
And thou hast nearly
Made hope depart

Chorus: Hast thou no feeling
Ah! Then must we sever
Yes parted forever
And thou will never
Think love on me.


[unnumbered b]


The Buccaneer's Bride
[XXXX] [XXXX] the endless deep
[XXXX] forth with you
To the spicy Isles where the bright sun smiles
Then [XXXX] [XXXX] forth we'll go

Look up look up my bonny bride
Nor think of your highland home
Come [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] mermaids sleep
With thoughts of your highland home
Come [XXXX] like mermaids sleep
With the Song of your highland Home

[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] that virgin sleep
The thoughts of your highland home
[XXXX] shall watch for the Buccaneer's bride
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the twilight falls.
[XXXX] shall watch for the Buccaneer's bride
Gave the [XXXX] as the twilight falls.
Written


[ unnumbered c]



"Pop under the Sod"
I saw the young bride in her heavy gown
Bedecked in her [XXXX]
And the bright flush of joy
And the future was

Come all ye weary bachelors that married want to be
Listen to my command and take a word from me
Single life and [Seaf] and strife sorrow pain and woe
Besides your wife will end your life with a wheel and  pound of tow

Before my wife was married she was a handsome dame
She would do all sorts of country work make butter cheese and spin
She could hoe potatoes corn & Flax harrow plow & mow
And when returned home at night she could spin a pound of tow
But now my wife is married she learned that doleful drone
She's learned the way to scold me all in that doleful tone
She waves the broom stick oe'r my head and out the door I go
She ruled the day I brought her home to spin a pound of tow

I wish my wife and neighbors wives were in same boat together
And the boat was bottomless and not a [XXXX]
Fifty leagues from any shore and there impelled to roam
I wish my wife would ne'er come back to spin a pound of tow


[unnumbered d]


Fairy Boy
XXXXXXXX that came while stars were paling
[XXXX] round in a lovely spring
[XXXX] (sened) while tears were falling
[XXXX] on the Fairy King:
[XXXX] with spell my child caressing,
        [Page torn; first words in previous three lines
missing]
Courting him with fairy joy,
Why destroy a mother's blessing
Wherefore steal my baby boy?

O'er the mountain through the wildwood
Where his childhood loved to play,
Where the flowers are freshly springing,
There I've wandered day by day.
There I've wandered growing fonder
Of the child that made my joy,
O'er the echoes wildly calling,
To restore my fairy boy.

But in vain my plaintive calling
Tears are falling - all in vain -
He now sports with fairy pleasures,
He's the treasure of the [train].
[Has] [his] well, my child forever
In this world I've lost my joy
But in the next, we ne'er shall sever,
There I'll find my Angel boy.


[Page 201]



Gro[xx] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Year   [XXXX] [XXXX]     93
Jan  1 To one peck of apples at Steels [XXX]                                     25
  "    5  " Sugar $1.00 corn 15 cts coal 40 at Steel's                           1.55
       9  " Coffee  $1.00   Coal oil 25                                                    1.25
           " Tin pans at [XXXX]                                                              1.25
       14" One peck of apples                                                                   25
       24th " Oisters 25  Prunes 15 Coal 1.00 Apples 25 crackers 10     1.75
         "        Cheese 20   Sugar 25                                                            .45
Feb 1 Coal 1.00 Coal oil 25      at Steels                                                   1.25
        1 Birds 50  Apples 40  Thread  25    at Marshall                               1.15
        7 Graham flour [XXXX] 1.00  [XXXX]   
      14 Apples 40  hogshead 75                                                                  1.15
       20 Butter 65 Cheese 40  [cririt] 15                                                      1.20
        "   Envelops 25  Soap 10  butter 30                                                       65
        "  Can of Oisters .25  Coal  1.00                                                           1.25
        "     [ Blank line]           
  March 1   Sugar $3.00 thread .25 bucket .25 Apples 40 Coal 100            4.90
      "       "   Lamp 1.75  clothesline 25  glasses 30 [XXXX] 10 Whisky   [XXXX]
               " To Jane's  expectirent                                                                  .50
               6  bread 25  nales  15                                                                      .40
March  10  Hickory nuts 15 apples 20 crate 50 vinegar 10 [XXXX]10      1.05
             21  Nails 15 Butter 30 eggs 10                                                           .55
                      Milk 25                                                                                       .25
                      Sugar 25   apples 20                                                                    .45
April      1  Meal 15  butter 30  starch 25                                                            70
                  Orange 10 Lemon 5 soda 10                                                              25
                  Butter 20  Poutter 20  apples 35  cheese 25                                     l.00
                   Meat 30  meal 10 corn 10 meat 30 owe 30                                      1.20
               21  Boxes for chicken  40  Meal  35                                                      .75
May    1 Butter 45  cheese 45     lemons 3    25                                                   1.15
               Coal oil     Coffee l.00                                                                            1.xx
            5  sugar 50  paper 60  corn 10 Milk 40                                                        1.60
             9     "    1.00  2 cans of oisters  2 of Tomatos 1.00                                        xxx
           10  Milk 15  3[bubenis] 30  apples 10
May    16  Butter 20  cheese 25  crackers 15                                                                xxx
                  Meat  35  Milk 25  Bread 10   Molasses                                                     xxx


[Page 202]


1873 Groceries bought by C. Gloyd
      [XXXX] Sugar  [XXXX]                                                                    $1.60       Paid
      [XXXX]  Butter 20  potatoes 15                                                             35         "
      [XXXX] [XXXX] 30 [XXXX] [XXXX] 10                                            40          "
      [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]   to plant                                    1.00          "
        [XXXX] buttons 10 Apples 30  [XXXX]                                                              "
   2 [XXXX] milk at Houghtys [?]                                                                    30           "
     [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  shoes  apples 30                                          2.65           "
     [XXXX] [XXXX] Butter 10                                                                         10           "
     mellon   Butter                                                                                                              "
  [XXXX] flour 10 mellon 10 Bread 20 Cream 10                                             50          P
  [XXXX] Butter 25 apples 15 Coal oil 25                                                        .80           P
 10  sugar 1.00 sugar again 1.00 apples 40cents pears 50 [XXXX] [XXXX] 25  3.15     P
4 S[xxx]potatoes 40 Butter 25 apples 20 tomatoes 10                                        .85          P
21  Cheese 20 Beef 40 Crackers  Butter 25  punkins 10                                      .90          P
[XXXX] Butter 25 Butter 50 Apples 25 onions 10 apples                                 1.10          P
[XXXX] Lampwick 5 Stake 30                                                                                .35    P
29  Rost 25 [XXXX] 45 sweet potatoes 40 meal 25                                               1.45     P
Sugar [XXXX] 40 [XXXX]                                                                                     1.40    P
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]                                                                                        .90    P
4  To meat 20  crackers 10 [XXXX]                                                                           .40   P
7  Coffee $1.00 Apples 30                                                                                          l.30
11 [XXXX] [XXXX] butter 50                                                                                     .50
4  cutting weeds                       Aug to paying Mrs. Troutman  10
[XXXX] my yard [XXXX]      " 31 "    "         "     Hoard        25
[XXXX] [XXXX]being done   Sep  "   "         "         "             25
[XXXX] [XXXX]                     Oct 4  "  "        "         "             25
[XXXX] [XXXX]                               "  "         "          "           25


[Page 203]


1873 [XXXX]  [XXXX]
Oct.     To Cheese 20  crackers 10  [XXXX] [XXXX]                                   [XXXX]
        21 Rice [XXXX] [XXXX] 40 [XXXX] 10                                             1.75
Nov [Oct] 30 To 1/2  bush of apples                                                                  1.00 Paid
                        "  Butter 20 tea 70 [XXXX] 20 [XXXX] 15
                         " Coal oil 20 salt 10 Crackers 10 Pheasant 5                              .45
Nov.                  " Button 40
14 " Oister 40  Crackers 25  [XXXX]
         "           11   Sugar $1.00
         15    Meal/half [XXXX]     Soda
 "       20   To Meal  [XXXX]
Nov.  19     "    Butter  [XXXX]
Nov.   26    Coal oil 20 cts  [XXXX] 15 [XXXX] 25                                             .90
                    Candle wick  10                                                                                   .10
                     Bees wax 25    [XXXX]
Dec     4   To Sugar 50  Coffee  [XXXX]
                  "  flower 2  salt
 "         4   To Cabbage 10  spice
 "          "    "  varnish 5 stain  [XXXX]
                       Molasses 1.16  Sugar 50
1874 Sugar 1.00  butter 20 [XXXX]
Jan  Sugar 1.00  butter 65  butter again 60
  "    Sugar 1.00  butter 25 [turnip] [XXXX]
   "    12   Apples 25 Buckwheat 25  [XXXX]
   "     14  Consentrated lye 40  wicks 25
                 Cranberries 40  Cheese 30  chicken                                                    1.35
Oct  17   To Meat
 "     23     "  [XXXX]                                                                                               .15
Nov   1   to meat                                                                                                       .15
                "   [Xand]                                                                                                  .25
   "      4    "  meat                                                                                                       .15
                "  meat                                                                                                         .10
 "    19      "    "                                                                                                            . 20


[Page 204]


What Carrie sold off the farm.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
To Butter to Mrs Underwood             .90
  "      "      "  The  tinner                    1.85
  "      "      "  Mrs Wilson                   1.00
  "      "      "   Mr Smith                      1.75
  "      "      "   Mr Friend                       .35
  "      "      "   Mr Bartletts                    .50

{Flake white Bismuth} as much as on the point of a large knife
Gliserine one half teaspoon full
Bay Rum one pt.
Otto Rose  20 drops

Boil the flake white & Bismuth for one half hour in pt rain water then add the other ingredients

Flesh colored pomade


[Page 205]


1872
Oct  19  It is Saturday I have been [XXXX] [XXXX]
    6 weeks exact [XXXX] teaching [XXXX] [XXXX] better
            anticipated I am better [than] [XXXX] [XXXX]
    been for years and was not made   
 receipt I have
    [streat] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
            it was [much] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
            was made of an old velvet [XXXX] [XXXX]
    Mr Wise because  he is not [XXXX] [XXXX]
forward as [XXXX] [XXXX] I hope [XXXX]  
    more of him. Good night diary.   
    Mr McLaughlin has not come [XXXX] [XXXX]
    dish of oisters at his expence.

Oct 20 Well it is with pleasure [XXXX]
    I know that you
            never suspect- if you     
    is out of season almost [XXXX] [XXXX]
    The dust is flying [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
            Smart-gave a lecture [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
    of prayer text - in Matt VI [XXXX] [XXXX]
    Christ  dictated for his disciples [XXXX] [XXXX]
    Badly.  I chastised the little [XXXX] [XXXX]
    my grapevine.  Mother got [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
    Norton's poems.  I like her [exXX] [XXXX]
    knows what a sorrow is her [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
    Sentiments of "The Dream a [XXXX]
            Feeling  There [past] and real [XXXX]                
    betrothed,"-I like -I expect [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
           perhaps not with The widow[ed] [XXXX] [XXXX]
          like all her write all [XXXX] real
          [always] give in well to his house
         with her while [XXXX] [XXXX]
        hear-when a child will
       [ XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] full I can [XXXX]
       the betrayed  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]



[Page 206]



1872
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] also in
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] with the sun
[XXXX]  [XXXX] [XXXX] hath given to none."
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] be given
I said that [XXXX] had I will
[XXXX] [XXXX] not sad today nor glad I
[XXXX] until [XXXX] does not come
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] with Charlie afraid
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [temptations] he is too
[XXXX]will give them my opinion next week
[XXXX] today's paper.
I enjoyed teaching today.  The children were good and
had good lessons. I stopped in at Mrs. Groutmans
[XXXX] home this evening and she told me that
[XXXX] had wished to visit me and wanted her
[XXXX] [XXXX] had respect him because he does
[XXXX] [XXXX] with the painful necessity
[XXXX] [XXXX] The [XXXX] of affection to prevent self
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] enthralled in those wishes
[XXXX] which so five are extricated without injury
[XXXX] [XXXX] her to tell him "I did not receive visit from
[XXXX] [XXXX] I had Charlien's picture taken to
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and to Charlie she is just a little over
[XXXX] years old.
[XXXX] Friend.  I have no news tonight-I mailed
a letter to Charlie and to Frankie, my little unknown
[XXXX].  I am discouraged about taxes today.  Good Night
Diary.
[XXXX] the schoolmaam's holiday tonight
[XXXX] [XXXX] but I am thankfull that all is a
[XXXX] it is.  [XXXX] [XXXX] came over and
[XXXX] [XXXX] burn. The years in my yard. Mother
[XXXX] opposed to it but [XXXX]


[Page 207]  


The days of [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Children write [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
were delighted [with] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
not - had [XXXX] [XXXX]
of their parts in [their] [grade]
a part.  I am not [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXxX] [XXXX]
to [appear] as a [XXXX][XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
understand I have not [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I forgot to tell you of taking [XXXX] [XXXX]
The gentleman was as  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I got a plant from my [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
will [become] my [XXXX] [XXXX] stopped
and she gave me [XXXX] [XXXX]
pleasant and dreams and good with [XXXX] [XXXX]

Oct 27
It is Lord's Day I heard a discourse
for the first time over [XXXX]
limited God's power but a [XXXX] [XXXX]
part. - His sermon was from the [XXXX] [XXXX]
Child, by Christ and was good [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
was  over took supper. I hope her [XXXX] [XXXX]
way.  I went to see Miss Clothier's [XXXX] [XXXX]
a young lady.  I wore Ma's [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
for the second time.  I did not go [XXXX] [XXXX]
And Mrs. Norton is the author of [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Oct 29
Tuesday - Nothing happened but what would [XXXX] [XXXX]
ordinary details of every day life  I really [XXXX]
like to make a friend, of some one [XXXX] I think of -[XXXX]
force of  circumstances forbid Mrs. [cXXX]
a pitcher of sweet cider today for dinner [XXXX]
have sentimental thoughts but have [XXXX]
myself from The  utterance of them [XXXX]
my confidence, I would not care
I like Miss Clothier.  She is blessed [XXXX]
winning way which will appreciate
has the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] leaving [XXXX]


[Page 208]


[1872]
[XXXX] [XXXX] One must otherwise, Hope!
I had [XXXX] [XXXX] like. Good night!
[Illegible] [XXXXXXXXXXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] this evening I was so
[XXXX] [XXXX] Humphry & Hubbard
[XXXX] [XXXX] be cold and she had
[IllegibleXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] wide meeting
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] by my self untill
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I came home
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [have] waited for
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to ask for my
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]way.  I have eaten
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Henry Clay Deen looks
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] for my darling
[IllegibleXXXXXXXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and Edd Mother and
[XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]had [XXXX] [XXXX] to have Mr & Mrs Houghton
[XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] where I took dinner there
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] supper and had a nice time.
[Blank Line]
[XXXX] [XXXX] I am alone!  That is Edd and Mother have
[gone] [to] the Christian Church and Charlien is asleep
[XXXX] [XXXX] and Mrs. Fry were in town today Mr T. sent
[XXXX] [XXXX] for some French candy but did not call
[XXX] [XXXX] would not procure the calling garment
[XXXX] [XXXX] a hunt down south.  I feel slighted
because I further think they might have called on
an old friend.  Last Saturday there were five young
[ladies] and five young gentleman to call and Edd [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] Humphry Hubbard [XXXX]to Houghton and
[XXXX] [XXXX] [abe] Mrs Reed related [XXXX] [XXXX] had
[XXXX] good time Mr. Wise looked handsome in
 [XXXX] and her [Cobur-in face] [XXXX] was so [bou]  
[XXXX] [XXXX] a new [XXXX] [XXXX] it always
[XXXX] [XXXX] will [XXXX] [XXXX]
[Next two lines illegible] [XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX]
[XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX] think


[Page 209]


Dry good expenses beginning with
Sept 21st - 1870
Sept 20  To  alpaca   8.00
                "    hoops   1.00
                "     portmanteu  1.00
                "     Shoes    1.50
                "     boulavord Shirt  3.50
                "     cambric  .25
                "     Silk Thread  .25
                "     Cotton Cloth  1.20
                "      Calico     .65
                "      Buttons   .25
                "      bobnet  1.00
            "    Lace    .50
            "     ribbon  .20
            "     bracelets  1.00
            "     Handkerchief 1.15

Oct 1st "     linin  Floss  .25
            "     Gobline        .25
                  Paper & Envelopes  .20
            "     Stamps               .25
       7th "     Stockings           .35
      13th "   Blue delaine      1.25
       15th "  Articles for hat   1.25
              "   Candy              .15
              "   Yarn                .10
              "   Pea Nuts           .05
              "   Butter                .20
              "    Oranges & [XXXX]            .25
              "   Cakes                  .25
              "   S[XXX]               .15
               "  Cakes                    .20
              "    Meal                  .10


[Page 210]


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXwas of my
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX but he is still a
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in the full
aplations you are closer XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX and can
[XXXX] [XXXX] nature is a study! for
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] have had
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] before as to almost break
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to have grave thoughts
[XXXX] [XXXX]  the wish of my heart now
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  To [XXXX] happiness but I dare not
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] worlds eye is never
[XXXX] [XXXX] have dislike of the witticism of the poisonous
[XXXX] which it does prepare for unwary.  If it
[XXXX] ever been my lot to pass through it when heated
[XXXX] [XXXX] God knows my heart, [XXXX]  It is but a
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I repent [XXXX] today that Bastin
[XXXX] [XXXX] for these days God help the  
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] that [XXXX] I got a letter from sister
[XXXX] [XXXX] today with might.
Again my write [XXXX] I am yours!  Aunt Millie left
[XXXX] [XXXX] So we'll be gay and happy  [Stil O]!  Edd went
to a social at Mrs. Hubbard's with  [Albur]  Houghton
He received a note from Mr. Coburn but he was
[XXXX] Mr. Steel is not as social as he used to be,
Is it because I have to ask him for credit so long?                                                       
You may not fear good friend you will get - what
what is due from me and you may get more than
[XXXX] [XXXX] for your eyes are rare windows of the soul
 [XXXX] [XXXX] Edd will have a nice time.  I hope she
will follow  an extra boy.  Good night!  I have
[XXXX] [I have ] Church tonight.  Good night again.
I am here.  I am going to write a line
 [XXXX] that copy a song [XXXX] I in  [XXXX]
 [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] lovely [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] to get her [XXXX] [XXXX]


[Page 211]


[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Oh how much [XXXX]
The song of [XXXX] [XXXX]  
Where is a dark and [XXXX] [XXXX]
With a sweet [XXXX]
 Sits under the [XXXX]
[XXXX]  P.S. I have a [XXXX]

1st Voice  I have tolde the same the sweet -The senses are
                   In my home beyond the sea                                                                                                             
2          Where a dark eyed  maid with sweet [XXXX] [XXXX]
2 This belongs  Sits under the [XXXX] tree
To 3rd verse  2 Thou wilt scan the fruits of thy mountain
                         Beholding the [XXXX] [XXXX]  
                          Then come to the land of my birth
                          Henceforth at my home  be  [XXXX]

2nd voice            I have heard the tale of a [XXXX]
                            And a sur  more [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
                            And I've sometime thought if the tale be true
                            To dwell in that-clime were bliss  
                            But - O!  when I gaze in my [XXXX] [XXXX]
                            Where the clematis bough in [XXXX]                              
                            The home of the stranger tempts me  
                             No ne'er can thy home be mine  

1st voice        Oh! come with me and I will sing  today
        The song of the olden time
        Thou wilt never compare with my [XXXX] [XXXX]
        The love of the colder clime.
        Thou will scorn the fruits of thy [XXXX] [XXXX]
        Beholding the purple vine
        Then come to the land of my birth
                        Hence at my home be theirs      
        Alas!  tis [XXXX] that [XXXX] mountains                           
                       [Three lines illegible]


[Page 212]


1872
[XXXX] [XXXX] my home
[XXXX] [XXXX] then thine
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX dear
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX -[illegible line]
XXXXXXXXXXX is pleasant-[XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] my little toes came [XXXX] of mine
[XXXX] [XXXX] this morning, I
[XXXX] [XXXX] it is pleasant
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] print of mine
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] hard time
[XXXX] [XXXX] so patient was ready to wait for
[XXXX] [XXXX] with [XXXX] shall take place
[XXXX] [XXXX] to you [XXXX] done
[XXXX] [XXXX] be [XXXX] [XXXX] human being hear
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of my heart not that I
[XXXX] [XXXX] sentiments not in
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] but There are certain
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the circumstances tis
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] it would cause me
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]    
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] gone to Warrensburg this evening
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to a  party at Senitor Blodget's
[XXXX] [XXXX] it is things giving  Good Night
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
[XXXX] [XXXX] " Hard Cash" today I came to a
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I think it is so true "As a mole
hill to a mountain is woman's jealously to man's
[XXXX] [XXXX] being much larger but not much
[XXXX] [XXXX] a womans hang their jealously on
[XXXX] [XXXX] pegs. When there was not peg they                                                       
[XXXX] with a pin.  Another idea that
[XXXX] a woman will look over but a cold
[XXXX] only will chill our hearts.  "Very Hard
[XXXX] by Charles Reed it is rather too
[XXXX] to be beneficial in a moral print
[XXXX] [XXXX] I should finish reading it tonight.
 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX



[Pages 213-214 missing]
[Page 215]


Dec 1876
10 My Charlene, the Child God has given to keep
    My heart -warm and full of love has been up
    to her Grand pa's about ten days and I want      
    to hold her to my heart [XXXX] when That The  
    is to embrace my  [XXXX] heavenly  father   Some
    have said that their day [found] in me in
    Thy providence I am thankful for thy
    Manifest love [XXXX] afraid [XXXX] not [singer]
    to enjoy the great love with which I have
    And one hour I ask give me ever [XXXX] fulfill
    and love of my child dictate all my actions to
    inspire     her with gratitude to thee and may I be
           Worthy to lead her in the way which lead to
    The city of the real King.

    Oh  memory you win my heart!  God is so wise
    what a blank life would be had not the all wise
    discreed that man should be to a certain day in  
    fickle and that the wounds  of our hearts
    not continue he caused time and [XXXX] [XXXX]
    change our wildest grief to a thing of  the [XXXX]
            we consider it His providence has taken
            The constant bitter grief from my heart [XXXX] [XXXX]
    Never Never will I cease to think of the last  
            hopes of my young life. My [XXXX] [XXXX]
    the anguish of a heart in the [XXXX] [XXXX]
    Oh! Love! Pure bright passion of the [XXXX]     
            won thee my heart was warm [XXX]
    so full was it with a devotion exceeding the
    rhapsodies of the wildest-idolited the
    love was of earth and to its [XXXX] [XXXX]
            forty seven months ago and there [XXXX] [XXXX]
    until the day when it shall in its [XXXX]
    grant me   Oh! Heavenly Father The [XXXX]
    thy earth as it  is in heaven
    where we shall see eye to eye
           shall know that   Thine [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[On the left margin:  Who can say "Be still"
 To the strong heart that beats not at our will"]


[Page 216]


[1872]
Dec 15 I have been reading [XXXX] [XXXX] by Serfenia F.
[XXXX [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] childhood
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  Oh! the
[XXXX] [XXXX] of the deepest [XXXX] holiest
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] what the object of that
[XXXX] [XXXX] man's love will grieve her
[XXXX] that man's pride will lease her when love deceives her
[XXXX] [XXXX] will [forever]
[XXXX] [XXXX] more week and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] my Child
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] heard Bucher tonight
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of Charlien tonight  
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Life is not a
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] all seems when I
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] full of sadness my
[XXXX] [XXXX] will I Laugh with those that
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to make them happy I bless
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] kindness, and love to me
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] have known more of the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of marriage than I, there is one
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to be a Husband to the widow
[XXXX] [XXXX] father to the orphan.
[XXXX] [XXXX] were as good as I want to be That
[XXXX] [XXXX]beauty was always mine Beautifull
[XXXX] [XXXX] mantle of the angels! wrap me and
[XXXX] [XXXX] me into the folds and let me be an example
[XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] Aunt Millie came this morning before breakfast
[XXXX] Mother and I did not rise this morning untill 9
Breakfast at 10 we did not attend either Sunday
School or church.   Yesterday was the coldest day I
have felt this winter.  So bitter!  Mother and I will  
[XXXX] to [Pas] Wednesday and stay until New
Year  I shall soon see my own Charlien, May       
she be worthy of this poor mother's devotion!


[Page 217]


[1873]
Jan 1st  Time has
Past year [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]   
Father [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
are gathered in [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]                                   
it is Thy will [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [X
 if the [XXXX] is [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
can bless [XXXX] [XXXX]  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Your creatures.
 I have had a pleasant [XXXX] [XXXX]
stayed 6 days.  [XXXX] had a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]                                                             on my keeping the [XXXX] saying That I [XXXX]  
give it to [XXXX] [XXXX] Charlien [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
her home [XXXX] [XXXX] I think she has [XXXX] [XXXX]
It is raining quite [XXXX] tonight [XXXX] [XXXX]
is in town in [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Potts was married last night [XXXX]
busy today made a jar [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
first I ever made I [XXXX]  My [XXXX] [XXXX]
meal that I made before that was [XXXX] [XXXX]  
Lost Sister Mize it [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
she died the 27th of Dec. 1869 and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
That I lost my earthly idol.  The [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
was far above his fellows in intellect.   [XXXX] [XXXX]
all things well.
Jan 4th This Lord's Day has not been spent profitably
The snow is about 18 inches;  We are almost [XXXX]
And to divert my mind I have been [reading] [XXXX]
Charles O'Malley by Charles Lever [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
So far!  the Language is chase and [XXXX]
the book is replete with anecdotes [XXXX] [XXXX]  
I am reading in the Bible at [XXXX] and [XXXX]
At The 25 Chapter I do not think is [XXXX]
Will like Mr. Smith; one think is also
Miss Huzzard.  Mutes I tell this be
my influence.  Mrs. C[XXX] Mize [XXXX] [XXXX]
others have the epizootic [XXXX] [XXXX]


[Page 218]


1873
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] watching her
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] May the Lord help
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] act.  She has been
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] was necessary.  There is
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to Charlie's mother
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] funds he will see
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] her.  O, if I was gentle!
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] this thimble
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] find good to a demonstration
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] day took dinner at
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] napkin ring; I went
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] comb to make Mr
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] did not fix my papers
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and I will have to go at
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] acknowledge the deed
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] train with me, we came
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] there was a drunken man in
[XXXX] [XXXX] he was so wicked in his expressions,
[XXXX] [XXXX] said if Father Macklin was on he would
[XXXX] [XXXX] so far as the irish swearing was concerned
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] talk for you but it seems that             
[XXXX] as never write that:  I have been wanting to write
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] think that I want to observe through
life [XXXX] I think I shall write them this evening.

Resolutions for 1873
1st   I Carrie Gloyd do this beginning of a New Year
do resolve that so far as in my power to [XXXX]     
comply with the following resolutions
To devote sometime every evening to a study
Of God's word and prayer.
[XXXX] to refrain from so much conversation of a
[XXXX] and frivolous character in school especially
with the teachers.


[Page 219]


Lords day 1873
Jan 12
4th To avoid all appearances of   [XXXX] [XXXX]
or make my [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]

5th That the [XXXX] [XXXX]and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
 to make my [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
 in this world and prepare for a better [XXXX]

 6th That love of and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
ever be in deed and word [XXXX] as [XXXX] [XXXX]
freedom from selfishness.

7th  May I never make an effort to [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
in the [XXXX] of others

7th And above all may I  express [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
my actions so that as I  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
lady and a Christian.

Resolved that as I have [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and a widow I will be [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to the above considerations.

L. Day 12  There was no meeting at the Christian Church
 and Mrs Smart - Maggie Johnson & myself went to
the Methodist heard a good sermon [XXXX] [XXXX]
He spoke so plainly of the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
determining his own fate in att[XX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
this be [XXX] liberal in [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
One thought - During a revival [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
[XXX]  be a better man or a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXXX]
a confusion as the sun softened wax the [XXXX] [XXXX]
rays would harden clay.  May the [XXXX] [XXXX]
week leave me a wiser and better woman
Sunday 8/2 oclock night


[Page 220]


1873
[Jan 15]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] had a little private
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] told me that he had
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] him, come I said, since   
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] write a long
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] first it is almost 10.00
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] gave me a puppy
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] is Trifa;  Not his
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] am going to keep
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I was after in
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] cultivate a calm
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] often thought today
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXX] [XXXX] can not Think
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Thinking and acting
[XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] himself in my opinion
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Maud Muther rings
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] "God pity them" Maud and I
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and like us all who vainly the dreams
[XXXX [XXXX] [XXXX] all sad words of tongue or pen
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] The saddest of all It might have been"
[XXXX] [XXXX] this poem is by Whittier and it is
so true, so true, for --It might have been" has rung my
[heart] with pangs so bitter that I could never tell
[XXXX] [XXXX] the anguish of my heart - I have exclaimed
[XXXX] [XXXX] anguish--, "God pity me." God pity me.

My hot!  I have been so busy today Mrs Smith and
[XXXX] [XXXX] will take supper with me this eve. I am
 [XXXX] [XXXX] to get a letter have not had one for
[XXXX] [XXXX] and I want some money so much
[I] am going to have oisters tonight for the first
[time] this winter.
[I] ought to be thankful for God's goodness. I
now am able to pay all my debts
[XXXX] am independent owing to my [altriation]
[XXXX] school and kind friends which God has
[given] me.


[Page 221]


Feb 1873
Sat--18
March 1  I have been [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to have a talk with [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
had good life [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
my house [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Mr Covent [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
of 48 feet [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
want to fulfil [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
able to show [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
be rembered [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
had a cold [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I saw Mrs. [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
she was so  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]

March 15  M.W. Mize was in to night - he is getting to look [gla]  
Mrs Walker was in with him.  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
a visit from her, [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
eternal future be she ask [XXXX ] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
the time.  I want to go [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
I do not have much time [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
It has been a pleasure to [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I hope it will ever be thus [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
some of my sewing I do want [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
more than I do.  I wish that [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
intelligent correspondence did not [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
my thoughts.
28+
April 7  I had to leave school today [XXXX] [XXXX] ]XXXX] [XXXX]
colic, I wrote yesterday to [InigXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] as we are having -School [XXXX] [XXXX]
three weeks.  I can not say I enjoy [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
went to my house to Henry Brun  & [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] was chosen [XXXX]
last [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Sunday School [XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] do not have them
That he helped to get [XXXX]


[Page 222]


1873
2nd May  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] improving lecture last night very
good [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] back bone  This is the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] school will be out in three
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] day [XXXX] [XXXX] and so glad!  Ma and
was [XXXX] [XXXX] of school.                             
What [XXXX] and schoolhouse.
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Went to Church & Sunday
[school] [XXXX] [XXXX] and to keep Mr. and  Mrs Brun in my
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] not Common.  School will
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I have 20 chickens but no
garden.  I do believe I like teaching better than any
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] when my [XXXX] [intarfXX] and then
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] when my [XXXX] is up.  Charlien
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] she can but I hope that
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] be willful and disobedient as
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] if she does she will bring me in
[XXXX] to the grave.
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [evening]. I have not been out anywhere
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] all evening I have lived
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of that part of my life almost six
years [XXXX] [XXXX] since.  When pure fervent love was given for
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] given in return.  Yes I have been reading
[XXXX] Charlie's letters glowing with passion, holy, love
[XXXX] [XXXX] bliss and the noblest expression that ever
was consigned to paper sentiments that flowed
[XXXX] [XXXX] from that shrine a intellect virtue and chivalry
No [XXXX] [XXXX] ever bear an witness to my feelings while
bringing to my mind's veene that part of my life
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] changes subsequent - My Father in
Heaven [XXXX] can read my soul and bear me witness  
[XXXX] [XXXX] true in heart and Thy will be done and thy
[XXXX] be my love [furn] then [ol] [futh] and forever!
I was reading where he was telling [XXXX] dear I
was to him and one particular evening
[XXXX] and a [surrXX] which in his letter he says
[XXXX] [XXXX] always [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]


 [Page 223]


1873
May 25th  It is This my years [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Yes I love to [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Words but for  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
This fond heart [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Er'e in life to live [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
No my [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Hopes like [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
If the love [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
"I will but be to love the home  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Youth may [XXXX] like [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
When you dread [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Shall not [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
And times change [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
We will share [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
 In the future a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
And in all things [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Dearest then I'll love thee [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Yes, it is this.  There is  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
 "Life may cease and then [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Will our pure affections [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
each other  [XXX]  Oh! The [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I shall see him once more, where in [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  
in the presence of him who is [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
for ever & ever.  Lord help me in [XXXX] [XXXX]
and bring me to live close to thee.
May 28th I go home to Pa's this morning he came for
me yesterday Mother & Charlien [XXXX] [XXXX] XXXX]
Aug 2nd  I came home three days since had a [XXXX]
visit - glad to get home to my humble but my
appreciated home.
Aug 4th  Miss Ried [XXXX] to dress Hair called
I washed went over to [hair] made to [XXXX]
Marry [XXXX] [XXXX] I will clean [XXXX] [XXXX]
Tomorrow Mrs. [Parus] will help me.


[Page 224]


[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] prayer Meeting
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I did not like
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] agree smoothly  
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] do show the public
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and mine are
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] status may
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] proved
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Mrs Grogon gave me
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] pleasant frame
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I had not been
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] that others  had not also
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] an old lady but
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] things.  May the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] once to act my part
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Gilkeison today
[Line omitted  XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] ]
[XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] tomorrow to get a certificate
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] home with me.  Mrs Hulitt
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXXX] Charlies  picture one he had
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] before he was married I did
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the shadow of the one whose
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to me go.  I want Charlien
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to have the pen and paper knife of
his that Mr. Hulitt has I wish I was
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I do not wish to be lively now
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] really to enjoy it - [When] alone
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] lonely sadness which always comes
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of  the Past 6! and which brings
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] so sad and "could I live over
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] my life could every thought but that
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of pride have been banished from
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] sweet consolation it would now be
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] youthful feet will stray when
under an influence which should have detected
for the best.  My heart is choaking me to cry out
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] no man
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Lord help me


[Page 225]


Aug 27th This may [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
who inhaled [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
whom [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
soul.  The  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
which will be [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
in ryme.
29th "There are many [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]     
But the sad [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Life often did [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
And fortune [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Yet better that [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Is a coffin [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]

Sept 2nd  School began yesterday [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
principal I have this [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
so sweet and plan to [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
with my fellow teacher [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I am not enough [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
strained and it what [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
much.  There is a free & [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to Charlie so fascinating [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
egotism which would be a [XXXX] [XXXX]
possess.  I try all in my power [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
in vain.  

Sept 8th  Pa came up from Jeffesin [township] [XXXX] [XXXX]
tonight.  
10th  Mrs Childs went in my house [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
it papered also by Mr. Miller [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
seemed to have been a kind [XXXX] and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
say [Xxgracious] providence to watch [XXXX]
Charlie died  before that time.  I [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] much I am reading [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Dickens [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I want to express an
[Line omitted] by him [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]


[Page 226]


[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] that attendance
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I ought to be
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] one may
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I have not -
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] from any one, I am
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] think that to read
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] them he must
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and tyrannical
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] small minded live
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] disgusting I do not
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX].  I admire his good
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [saintly] but he can
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] humanity (and to those
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]) cause men
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] all little stray
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] misconstrued into
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] motives.  He clothes all
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] everything and the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] small brains and live
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and how people can extoll
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] philanthropy although the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the identity with philanthropy
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]  Here of late I do
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] church as I should.  I pray
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] because I love God or his creatures
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] not-will not give up to the feeling
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] nothing to my pastor this year
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] , but as soon as I get some
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] shall.  I sometimes wish that
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] does care and help me [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] some fully realized if [XXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] as he did to trust of old [and]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] in words which I [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] that he was with me [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] me from [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[Next two lines are illegible]


[Page 227]


Sep
2 oclock A M   17 [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I am [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Mr. [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
is so much [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[rodur] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Night 18 Mrs [CoXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
in order to [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
down in [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I had a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Leverton also [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Charlien has [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
or skin [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I dreamed [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and that [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
enough of the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]

21st Lordsday! I had [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and singing [all] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
church I am [going] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
toward all church [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Christian church [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
"We" only are right] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
singing and taught [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[St Sclor] one of that [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Sept 25 Charlie came in this morning [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
he has been in Texas almost [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
+27 brown from exposure [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Sept 28  Lord's day [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
so tired. I had my house [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
papered a room myself had [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
had so much to do myself that [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
about to go out.  Charlie has a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] with [XXXX] and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Charlien [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the girls [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[Next two lines illegible]


[Page 228]


[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] want her to
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] was today it was such a
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and I was so glad
[XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] comes.  I am
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the ABC [dearians]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the children are lovely
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and [XXXX] has one happy to
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] give much to have
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and mine a brother
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I made [XXXX] with Charlie Coventry
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] that Miss Hizzard would
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] before for one year
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Cunningham today
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of the Yellow fever now
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] with [XXXX] that I love) May God
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I went over to spend the evening
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Mrs was out and we came back
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] from Mr. Love.  I can not say I
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] of it I will write him one
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] at last will understand.  Bro. Cunningham and
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] were here today.  The cattle got in last night
[XXXX] [XXXX] [warned] me.
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] will have a holiday next week to go
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] at Warrensburg.
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I have not been to church or Sabbath
[XXXX] [XXXX] stayed the day in reading most [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] first time [XXXX] with mother.  A
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] at Warrensburg even if the
[XXXX] [XXXX].  I having [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] argument [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[Next two lines are illegible]


[Page 229]


Oct 28  Wednesday  Warrensburg
Nov 1 came home last evening had a fine time
boarded to the [Simimons] House for a day
met Mrs. Cheny and [XXXX] at [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
can say I have [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and [Notins] [XXXX] [XXXX] like Mr. [Lindung] and  
wife better then I expected.

Nov 2 Lords day. Gloomy and raining this morning [XXXX] not
go any place.  Will this evening [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
a good magazine I am reading [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Brave Hearts a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Robertson [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
bring so real I [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and that some [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
retained them yet the [XXXX] [XXXX] in our lives
(it reads) "for a while-but the death [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Charlie caused [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
which eternity can only fill [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
by changed to immortality and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
there are no memory of  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
of them will charge from the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
we view sorrows of this earth.  Oh but [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
thy pathway, home sweet thy [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
punishments!  I experienced these [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
all their force - There is another which [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
atom of my being.  Have [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
spirit like is Live.  [XXXX] mine was a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
live a love which could give it.
only in constantly being assured [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
fully  "No fate need be [relived] had [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] Since duty, well done, for its [XXXX] sake
Is its own reward.-(but it does not satisfy)


[Page 230]


1873
Nov. 3 Went last night to hear the "lay preacher"
[XXXX] [XXXX] did not like last night but
[XXXX] [XXXX] mean to me -- All creatures
[XXXX] had life more satisfied with that life
had all wants gratified enjoyed to the fullest capacity
but many [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] big  surroundings
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and seeming never
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] in this life [XXXX] that his desire
[XXXX] [XXXX] things this time can give him.
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] thought that in making us dissatisfied
[XXXX] [XXXX] what [XXXX] [XXXX] hand the design of Duty.--
[XXXX] [XXXX] would give us such joy of which we
would not tire some haven or shore "where the
skies never weep and leaves do not fade"
would we often desire to gain the home prepared
for the obedient.  Is it not the realization that
[XXXX] if the earth earthy [XXXX] and that if we sometimes
[XXXX] idols [finding] them clay [XXXX]" the silken ends of
God's [XXXX] which draw us [to] the Father?  (10.30 o'clock)

Nov. 6 Last night before retiring I stepped out doors
and saw a drunken man come over the fence.  I
was very much alarmed and screamed so loud
that several neighbors came to the scene of excitement
he meant no harm but he freighted me dangerously
I hear that poor Anna Mosley has gone crazy for
life.  Mrs [XXXX] brought me a present yesterday
of a set of frills neck and sleeves made of
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] also ribbon for cravat or tie
Mrs Childs and I spent the evening with
Mrs. Parum  and it was fancy.


[Page 231]


Nov 14 Tomorrow I will have a [kitchen] to paper
I hardly [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and not  
thing so [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
any damage [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
yesterday and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
evening.  I [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
spirits and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to me.  I [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
more patient [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
so impulsive [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
that providence [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
from shipping [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
did not think [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
him so bad [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
16 Whenever circumstances  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to the time when [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to reflect on the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to stay with him [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
live four months and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
not live the four months [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
into my heart he knows [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
to him and that away of [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
of gladness.  May the Lord [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
parents which were surrounded with [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
e'er to my own Father and mother  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
All wise forgive them for the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
did.  My life is happy and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
my Heavenly Father's mercies [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
over the fondest recollections [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
history which will wring my soul [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
death or when every life shall [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
a [XXXX] [XXXX] heart to heart.  I do [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
mean not [XXXX] [XXXX] was the cause of  [XXXX] [XXXX]
not [XXXX] [XXXX] obey heaven
bring [XXXX] [XXXX] and [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]


[Page 232]


[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [were] quite
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] for many
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [talent] was
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] was [XXXX]
[Two illegible lines]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] fascinating character
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and The
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] book was The
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Sir Bn's Guilbert  
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] wished to have
[XXXX] [XXXX] his glorious name
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] saying to her "This"
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] this fame will I
[XXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] for go even now
[XXXX [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] then wilt say
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] for my [lover]."  Brave
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] may Christian woman be
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] arguments to induce
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] says,  "But it must
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] thy life Thou and I
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] instruments of some irresistible
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] along like goodly vessels
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] storm which are  dasher against
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] so perish."  The character of
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] corresponds so appropriately with the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] well knowing the character
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] with all their faults.  I cannot  
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] for their individuality - there
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and moral life so far
[XXXX] [XXXX] have except cheating and falsehood
[XXXX] sell their wares and get going


[Page 233]

 
Nov 23 Lords day [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
on the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
was for [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
was the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[Line is missing]
me to [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
with the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
has con[troll] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
man going [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
that Adam [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
-- that he had [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
rational if [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]    
Nov 27 Yesterday was [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Mother reads [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
29 Mrs Johnson and Mrs [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
('' ") Mrs Johnson made me a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]

Dec 1 Bro Hultz brought me in [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
today it is warm and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I am fearful that [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
myself and Mr Childs [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
It is late and I will [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
town came down in the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I finished reading "The [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] by
J.S. Peacock it is a vivid tale of the [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
when it was the land of the Noble [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
happy slave.  I thought it [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]

Dec 6 Today is Saturday, I have [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
cake mince meat chicken [salid] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
all the furniture fixed my [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and several other jobs.  I have [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
frame it is quite pretty.  [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]


[Page 234]


[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] much happens
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] year I think
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] received and I
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] will come
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] it will be
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] have a
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] church I want
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] the class
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] peace since last
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] to which have
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [assurance] and the
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] pass from my
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [visit] which we
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] Christmas eve Charli
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and stayed with
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] admire Laura very
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] you see one fault in
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] what the future way
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] happiness and prosperity.  


[Page 235]


1874
This [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
closely to [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Resolved [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
history is [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Resolved-That [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
with my [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
her a [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Resolved That [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
opinion of [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
with me beyond [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
sentiments which [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
Resolved - That [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
in conversation and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
associates.
Resolved - that I be [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
in conversation and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
impression in anyone.  Carrie Gloyd
Feb 21 Resolved - That I control my temper and
when opposed in any thing that I will rather
 suffer [impositni] than retort in an excited [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
or harsh manner       C. G.


[Page 236]


1874
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] had an
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] also, had a nice
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] a bad turn
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] caused by headache
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] which would apply to Charlien
[XXXX] him  She is a child which has inherited
an intensive life, a sensitive an emotional
spirit in [XXXX] sympathy with the near or distant
which I've seen in the outward world.
[XXXX] [XXXX] level haven't which to a mind
[XXXX] [XXXX] may be a misfortune for which
life has  no [XXXX] alive

The day 3 years since my lost Charlie was
[XXXX] [XXXX] he has gone from those who lived
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] be with the elder brother
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] and does all things well
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] idol while I made in this
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] which moth and rust do not.
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] I have lost my engagement
ring [XXXX] today in [XXXX] I am unhappy and will be
until I find it that is it will always give me
[XXXX] to think of it
Jan 11  I have not been very well today, have been
a little sick in body and greatly sick at
heart.-Why [EXXXX] over memories, over the great grief
which [weakened] my young life.  I have been
[thinking] of my lost Charlie the idol of my life
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] was stronger than all others
[XXXX] [XXXX] was not as true to my self as my heart
[XXX] [XXX]   How full of love to our great Father
[XXXX] no matter how much confidence in the goodness
of God they speak and after reading his letters
I am [ensixnaged] to life for that better life
[The] one he thanked his maker for I can
[allay my pain]


[Page 237]


Jan 1874 in Living [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
 [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
If I knew that my [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
blessed as to [XXXX] [XXXX] of all [XXXX] [XXXX]
and noble that [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
hopefully [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
can say that did [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
I should of all women [XXXX] [XXXX]
have a strong hope.

14 Yesterday was the day that Edd was to marry
Mr Cantwell and ere this she has passed from
girlhood to womanhood to begin life in its purist
most valued and most responsible sense.  May
 God love and protect them and at last take
them to the home of his obedient Children.

Feb 1  Edd & Mr C has been down to see me.  Went home yesterday
I like Mr Cantwell seem to be competent to make
her happy.

21 Yesterday at teachers' Meeting Mr [Lindlinger]
and I had a sharp dispute I did not do
as I should and have felt badly ever since
I wish I could control my temper better


[Page 238]


1874
March 20  Five years ago today my husband was taken
from me.  I walked out to his grave today at
noon I can scarcely realize that it has been
five years since he died.

29 My little Charlien went home with her
Aunt Eddie [XXXX] and how I miss her
Today Mother has been sick and I have not
been out to church at all

April 17 [Annie] has been with me a week
I am going to give her a candy pulling
tonight Charlein came home with her

May 31  School closed the 29.  It has been a long
Time since I talked though this book there
Has nothing occurred of very much importance
I have applied for a situation in the school
but can not tell how it will be.  I am not as
anxious about these things as I used to be for
I believe God will take care of me and if I
can only trust to his goodness and if I can
only deserve it all will be well.  Charlien has
Whooping cough badly.  The human heart is
strange.  Strange how we hope and fear and
love and the sensations which daily impress it
and what a sensitive nature suffers in
this life.  Ah!  What this poor heart suffers!


[Page 239]


June  1874
7 It is true that God helps those who help
themselves.  I have tried hard to do something
to help myself but if God had not helped
me.  I could have accomplished nothing as
it is I am now able to save something and
I am so grateful that I often wish for some
great way to show my love to him for his
goodness and if I have the heart of gratitude
which I now have and am allowed to live
I will try to do something worthy of his
approbations.  I am so much afraid of myself,
it is strange but I have cause to say so
and I know that outside of God I would
nor could not be ever as good as I am -
I shall keep up the contest and never give over
to evil and at last will come the reward
which will compensate.

Sept 10 Yes it has been a long time since I have had
the privilege of talking to you Journal, I came
home last Saturday a week tomorrow.  The visit - I
have made this 1874 will impress me through
life.  There has been a circumstance connected with
this summer which has changed my life and made
life beautiful in some phases and I hope it will
make me a better woman.


[Page 240]


This is Charlien Clarice Annie Gloyd's hand and arm when she was 6 years old lacking 16 days, Sep11th 1874.
[Written inside outline drawing of Charlien's hand]


[Page 241]


And this is her foot.  [Written inside outline drawing of Charlien's foot]


[Page 242]


Sept 1874
Sep 22 I went to Kansas City fair last week stayed
three days had such a pleasant time.   I met so many
old friends and [over dinner] share all else.  I went
to see [Mat] Morgan  The same old dear love she
used to be.  I also attended the theater Julius Cesar
was acted [toburable] well   Charlien is growing now
Last night Mother Charlien  Mrs Smith and I went
To the Negro meeting they got to shouting and
Yelling and cut-up generally and ridiculously
I am not going to teach this year.  I got a
letter from Pa & one from Ma in regard to taking
[Carnmie] I will be glad to have him come
down and stay all winter with me.

Sep 27  Charlien is 6 years old today.  She was born on Lord's day
and today  is Sunday also.  We have been to church
and Sunday school.  I took charge of a class today
and I hope that I may be successful and
delligent in my attention and instructions as a
teacher!  I like to be here for all are kind to me
and I feel when I go out that I meet those
I love [XXXX] those who love me.


[Page 243]


Feb  1875
15 Oh! the changes since last I wrote in this
Journal.  I have been married to Mr. Nation since
the 30th of Dec. 1874 and since then
I have been so happy and how I love my
noble true loving husband my life is wrapt
up in him.  May God keep us both in the
way of the Christian and may we both
be among those who shall sing to his praise
through eternity -  We put our letters in the
Warrensburg Church the 7th of this month.
I have a delightful home at present from
Mr Nation for my bridal present it - Husband
gave 'Ma' an 1851 machine, the boys gave
me a photograph album and Josy a
pair of braided monogram pillow slips
Lola a lamp mat.  I married contrary to
the wishes of all my friends but it is
the best thing I ever did in my life.
Oh Lord help me to prove worthy of the
charge of these children and be a mother
to them and be able to gain their love
and confidence.

Nov 15.  After a long long neglect of you my old
friend I take you down from the shelf to
tell you how I am.  I have been Mr N's
wife almost a year and the honey moon
is fresh and new yet.  My husband is
dearer to me every day I live what a blessing
to any woman is such a husband I think
he must be a special gift from God
and how dear to me are his children.
Lola [sometimes spelled Lulu] is a comfort and pleasure, Oscer
is kind and such a good boy, Caddie
often grieves me but he is a noble
fellow in many things and I hope


[Page 244]


Nov 1875
to see the day when he may leave off
some faults which do injustice to him.  
Poor Uncle Bob is gone I hope to rest.  Josie
was married the second of this month to
R.C. White.  I do hope she will conduct her
self as a good dutiful wife and cease to be
a care and anxiety to her father and my-
self.  I hope the good Savior will help
me to raise Lola that she may be some
pleasure and an honor for Mr Nation
has had no cause to be proud of the  [XXX]
daughter now living and he so fully
deserves good children for he is such a
good father.  I got a sweet good letter
from Mrs  [Laws] and one from Millie Watson.
I enjoyed her visit so much I think
she rather liked Mr [Cheutena].  Mother is almost
71 years old is active and well most of the
time.

16
My dear husband went up to Cass Co to
attend a law suit for Charlie.  The Children
and I were going up with him but it was so
cold that I gave it out.  I look for husband
tonight on the train.  How I miss him
when he is away!  How essential his compan-
ionship is to my happiness, I expect to go to the
prayer meeting and take Alice with me.  I
have taken a girl 14 years old to help me
and I treat her as one of the family she
has been with me about ten days I can
make a handy good girl of her if her
mother lets her stay with me.


[Page 245]


Jan 16th          1876
Sunday - We are all well.  The little girls
are in the dining room studdying their
numbers, to have them ready for me to
see.  I hope they will be as much pleas-
sure to me as now when they grow up.
Lola will be 10 the 3 of next month.  The
boys went to church to-night - but - The rest
of us stayed at home it is dark and
damp.  My dear Husband is sitting by
reading.  I look at the preceding pages
of This book and Think over the changes
since first I began to write and what
changes may occur when next I refer to
This page.  I believe I will write to Aunt
Hope This evening.

August - 4  I do not write in This diary as of old.  
I have a bosom friend to tell my secrets to
not old diary.  All are well [Caricus] has
been from home over Three months, I believe
and we have not heard from him but
once.  I do hope he may yet be a noble man
but he has a bad influence to direct him.
Mrs and Mr Blair editor of the Boonville Eagle
and Mrs Kinsil took dinner with me yester  
day.  We had a nice time Since being The
wife of Mr. Nation.  I have traveled more than
all the rest of my life before This June I
went to Denver.  Had a glorious time been
doing my work since my return and felt
so well.  Mr Robertson is boarding with us
such a pleasant young man.  I have
such pleasant neighbors.  Charlien and
Lola are such great help & pleasure
to me.  This Sunday they did not like
to obey me and I told them to get


[Page 246]


1876
another mother but they cried Charlien
asked me to [forgive] her and said she want-
ed to stay with Mama.  How I love Them
my darlings.

Sept 2nd Lola Charlien and myself are alone in my [room]
tonight Husban[d] and Oscar have gone to the [Tildus]
Club  I have Nora an irish woman to help me.
I am expecting Sister Annie Carn and Judge
to board with me and go to school to the
Normal This winter.  I am so anxious for Them
to come.  Mr Robertsin is out selling book now.
I have been sick almost two weeks and feel
so weak.  I want to see Edd so much wish
she would come down and bring May.  Mrs.
Hanley is so kind to me she sent me some
delightful bread today it was so good I am
going to send her something nice next week.

Sp 20 Carn & Annie have been here since The 10.
Ma sent for Them yesterday and I would would
not let them go.  They seem to take an interest
in Their book and are learning fast - My
own dear husband is about to sell out the
office to the Middletons and I will be glad.
I am anxious to go South.  


[Page 247]


1876
Dec 17 This is just a week before Christmas and
next week we prepare for our move to Texas.
It is almost a leap in the dark but - if
God directs us, all will be well.  I feel this
with health for Mr. Nation we can but to
well for he is a kind husband and father
and capable of doing well.  I want to educate
and accomplish Lola & Charlien but I want
them to do me some good and be useful
as well as a pleasure to us.  Mr Nation
not as capable of  raising useful children
as I wish.  I bought me a set of silver ?
knives day before yesterday for $2.50 and a
spoon for 50 cts.  Mr Nation bought me
a new alpaca dress but I don't think I
will make it up till next spring.  [Newster]
will go south with us.
1877

May 14 - Dear diary - I have been a resident of the
sunnie South since Jan and take like [it] so much
We had a pleasant trip although my dear kind
husband did not come with us he had to remain
in Sedalia to fix up his business with his
lawyers he compromised with Mr Stevens and
got $780.00 and that was the money we have . . .
had to fix to live on since our move.  We have
been fortunate in so many things since our move
and during we both Think it is because we have
tried to trust to God for his help and he has
helped us and O if  we can trust him and
Thank him enough for all his care and watch-
fullness and great favors which he has blessed
us with.  I want to do my duty at all things
and to every body and especially to These
two boys who are not disposed to love or heed
my counsel as for Lola she is mine and she  
loves me and shall be even as my own


[Page 248]


1877
Charlien[.] Cassius has been from home Cassius
has been from home Just about a year staying
with his sister in Columbus but he has now
written to come home and his father is glad to
have him come and I wonder if he will bring
us trouble like he did while he was with us
if so life will not be so pleasant as it once
was or is now for I am a happy woman.  Lola
and Charlien are my dear loving sweet children
and my dearest and kindest of husbands does
what his good kind heart will tell me is for
my welfare and comfort.  If we can fully and
wholy be disciples of The blessed Jesus we will
be even more contented.  I hope God will give
me grace to be humbler and more long suffering.
I like this romantic sunny land with
its grand old oaks and its rivers and figs and
vines..

Nov 11.  Today is the blessed Lords Day.  We did
not go to church I have no way of going
now but in The large wagon and the
mules are kept so busy we want them
to rest.  We are almost out of means now
and have no house to live in  The negroes,
in our place have destroyed our sweet
potatoes and are burning up our substance
There.  Mr. N had a big fuss with Them
and is going to try to put Them out by
law so we can move This next week.
After this I do not like this country as well
as I at first Thought I would but I expect -
it is because we have no money, I thing [think]
the parsons place is a desirable place.  Lola
and Charlien are growing fast and are
smart children.  I miss my dear parents
and sister & brothers so much.  I have a
fearful cold in my head and lungs.


[Page 249]


The 21st of this month I will be 31 years old.
My health is better here than in Mo and
that is of great advantage to me and
my family, My dear husband is no
farmer and we intend as soon as
possible to move to town.   Oscar is no
farmer either he nor his father can not
manage well but it will not do for me to
say so to them.  I don't want Mr Nation to
work, he can not stand it and I want he
and I to live our days out together.  Char-
lien is a funny happy child, but Lola is
not so much so Charlien teases her so much
that They dispute a great deal, Cassius is
not at home now, he wrote that he had
no money nor clothes that Mr White had
his money and could not pay it.

Nov 23 I am over to our place Just  Mr Nation
and I we are in the old cabin and just as
happy as if we were in a palace.  I cook
for him - He has torn down one of the
old sheds and fixed to lay the floor
I cook for him and help him when I
can to get out nales from the pl[anks] and
he takes off and help him use the large
saw.  He is so happy at his work, I
would be so well satisfied if we were
entirely out of debt but we now owe
three hundred dollars and no way
to pay it.  The taxes of the place is
so behind it is [over] a hundred
dollars.  Charlien Mother & Lola and
Oscar are at the Bell place.  I like
our home so much.


[Page 250]


1878
Jan 10 - We are all over to our Texas home no one
of our family except Mr. N & Oscar is
satisfied but we like this place it is
certainly a fine place.  Charlien and
Lola are healthy and as happy as they
can be.  They are a great help to me
Ella O. insulted me by writing me
an indecent letter not long since
and they must be scarce around
me they are of the order of people of
whom my mother always taught me
to shun..

Mar 20 - I wrote an article for  "Coleman's Rural World"
and told them if my letters were worth the
value of the paper to please send it to me
and the paper came the next week with
my article on the first page, I have sent
another communication to it, also one to
"Galveston News".  I am now making butter
and am going to sell it for there are so many
little articles and Mr Nation has no money.  We have
very been out of [flower] for nearly a month.  I have
been very low "down in the mouth" but feel better
now.  Husband finds a good deal of fall work
my pigs but I am going to hold on to them
for they are to make my meat next winter
We have had some nice beef lately, Mr N
has killed two small beaves or yearlings
and I have cured it so nicely.  Mother
and Lola are washing today.  I would have
had such good luck with my chickens
if the hawks had not have caught
them.


[Page 251]


1878
April
Thursday. I don't know the day of the month but I think it
is the 25th, My dear husband is attending court at Brazoria
has been there for nearly two weeks and will
come home Saturday and return Monday for another
week.  I am here with my two girls Mother is
in town.  Sophia is with me now as a field
hand.  Oscar is over on Canan and we have
no regular hand but the crop is doing very
well better than when we had a white hand
paying him $25.- a month.  These are hard
times here with us now but we have many
comforts for which we ought to be thankful
and my good husband is trying so hard and
I will not complain as along as we are
well.  Little did I ever think that the move
to Texas would bring us down as it has.  I
know how it would distress my old mother to
see me work like I have to.  Oscar has behaved
in a manner I did not think him capable
of doing in a way he has told so many
false things on me Coleman publishes my
letters and sends me his paper.

June 14  It has rained for three days almost
constantly crops are fine.  I have had to attend
to the farm this year.  Oscar does not live  
with us now, he is over on Cande he got
to be so unpleasant to me that I lost
patience with him and am glad he is
not here for it is not pleasant for one
of the family.  Our crop is so far a suc-
cess and we have prospect of plenty.
Mr Nation has gone to see about a
swarm of bees, a large nice swarm.
Mr Parks gave me a stand this year
but I have not got it home.


[Page 252]


1878
July Jan B Jan  I am a [XXXX]
1 I have done a[XXX] here today with the help
of Lola what a hard life I live here of the
I have had to do most of the house work and
also the superintending of the farm we are
[loosing] all the time and we are almost out
of clothes  I have sold mine to pay
the help  I am  out of shoes and no way to get
any and my dear little girls will get-no education
except what I can teach them. But the good Lord
will provide for us he has never forsaken me
 and my [XXXX] [XXXX] comes from him  My little
 Charlien came near getting killed by falling
 from a play house I had fixed for her and
it was like giving her up but God was pleased
& let me have her longer she is my darling
and love her little hand is full of love
Oscar has come with the chills and says he
will go back when he gets well he is very pleasant
now.  I hope there will be a change to relieve
Mr Nation and I of this slavery.

July 10 - All in bed I got up to write down
what I had made on my butter and
up to this time it was just 6.35 worth
all well except complaining of Texas
Scary Lightning struck Mr. Gale's cow and
they would not eat any of it but gave
Three quarters to us.


[Page 255]


1878
Aug 4"
I have been sick for almost a week chills
fever and colic.  Charlien has had quite
a spell and Mr N. and Lola not-one
been able to wait-on the other.  I don't
like to live here and if possible will leave
as soon as possible if I can get Mr N in the
notion.  I expect to go up to my old home
this fall.  I think Oscar has come home to
stay, he has found out home is the place
after all.  My own darling husband is not
as affectionate  to me as formerly he has
had too much to cross him down here
and while I am such a slave I can
not feel like the same woman.  I have
been in bed all day.  I(1) week ago
tomorrow was the eclipse and it grew
almost twilight.

16  I have been sick most all week and tomorrow
is Saturday.  I got up today and was around
some.  Mr Gate came over and told us that Rosa our
fine calf or cow was dead and it was like taking
our last spark from us.  I consider that we are
broken up and in a condition to become poorer
all the time but every thing happens for good
to those who love the Lord and bless his holy name.
If I could trust the Lord as entirely as I
should.  Oscar does not intend to leave home
any more I think he sees that there is no place like
home but his health is poor all are in bed and
asleep but I cannot sleep O Lord may I trust thee
more.


[Page 256]


1879  Columbia Hotel
March 9"
We have been keeping the Columbia Hotel over
four months and it has been a happy
change from the Bernard.  But today I have
been sad for I fear the times may get so
dull I can not keep up my table expenses
My two darling brothers are in Colorado how I long
to see them.

April 1.  You don't know Major Burk, he is a boarder of
mine and a dear friend, not That he thinks  
so much of me but I think so much of him.
Not so much as a brother, not as a lover, but as a
true gentleman and then There is something
about him which enlists my particular regard.
Well, this morning I made some cotton cakes,
Suffice it to say he did not enjoy the sell and
was cross all day but Mr Park seemed to enjoy
joke.

A 6 Today I am up, have been sick for two or
Three days.  Heard something did not like or  
 did not believe about a friend of mine whome
I believe to be above the ordinary.  Lola got a
dress and some stockings from Joe tonight.
Mr dear leige has gone to lodge.  Charlien is out
staying with Mamie and we are quite alone. I don't
feel particularly gay tonight I have no boarders
and times are dull but I will trust in one
able and willing to help all who call on him.
13 My dear husband has gone to the farm and I
am

15 My husband will be home this evening and
how happy I will be to see him.  He is the
one indispensable to my happiness the one
to whome I look for all happiness.


[Page 257]


1879
Aprile continued
15  Miss Zulica stayed with me last night and I
slept so well, I love her rather extravagantly consid-
ering I am a married woman.  Major B has
begun to drink again, his is a sad sad case beyond
my comprehension.  He will go to his death I believe
a drunkard  

May 6 My husband has gone to Lodge.  [Bro] Gadd
and a Mr. Dixen left this morning they
have been with me almost a week
also a Mr [FrXXb] stayed with us last
night. [Travelers are here but I have
who will help me when I can [XXXX]
myself sufficient to ask him.  Our [XXXX]
will be sold for taxes tomorrow [XXXX]
his wish a [XXXX]  My [XXXX] hard with [XXXX]
out on a trip of the country soon
how fondly I hope he may meet with
success & happy result.

9 Tonight have on [XXXX] [XXXX] going
Wilsons wish [XXXX] [XXXX]
for God to prove [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
does my heart say  

June 7 Tonight I come to you with my "blues" my
gloom and dare I tell you of my fear.  My
husband is going away in opposition to every
persuasion I can use.  I feel that it is not
best for him to leave me just Lola & Charlien
and I which is the greatest child!  I know
I feel the situation with more dependence
than either of my poor little ones.  If I had
some good true human bosom on which
I could lean in confidence whose heart
would beat in sympathy of my own
would I could say that my husband


[Page 258]


1879
gone was that one, I am sitting in the office all
alone.  Husband has gone to bed (he always goes
to bed too soon), but I could not sleep were I to go to
bed and I sit here and write to you.  Last night
Mr Park took me to the Presbyterian ice cream
social and was very kind to me.  Major Burk also
gave me a dish.  There was a party at Maldeck a
splendid gay affair, Major is my dear friend but
we will differ about things and whenever we do
I have something like the  ["honerus"]  He seems sad
tonight, I wonder if any word of mine has made
him blue or sad.  What will sustain me when
Mr. Nation will go.  I wish I loved the Lord more
than I do, I would not have so much cause for
this sadness.  Diary I can not write you thoughts
which of late pass through my mind.  Good Night.
but I can not sleep, the "tin ware is not all bright
My hope has departed that my Zulica will come
tonight but how many hopes have I seen depart
with more serious and grievous dislike than
this.  After the Serenade by Mr Patrick & Sister
two Miss [Keens] and Miss Westall and my Zulica.  Why
do I love her!  Why do I not love someone
else less lovely so that there might be more
good in it.  She loves me, he loves in return
and we are all good friends, we three!
In the morning-"I feel like one forsaken!"
The memory of that serenade hovers over my mind
like a sweet dream when I am sick.  When I am
sick who will care except Charlien and Lola.  How
kind Mr Park is to me and the children.  he has
a rough way but a warm heart.  Must I say
that my husband gives me pain or ought I even
to say that.  I am not going to church today
nor Sunday School but am going to iron a
dress for my Charlie to wear to Sunday
School.


[Page 259]


1879
June 18" My husband starts on a trip to look over the
northwestern part of Texas to see if he cannot find
a place where he can do something in his profession
Oscar will go with him.  Cassius may come home
at any time I will be glad to have him with
us while Mr. Nation is away.  The children and
I have made us a big bed and Major Burk
will sleep in the front room in case of any danger
at night.  We went to prayer meeting tonight
Bro Collisson is a nice little man.  I do not
mind Husbands going like I thought I should
God take care of him and bring him safely home
to me and preserve me as a good true wife to
meet him in pleasure & health.  How many dreary
hours I shall have all to myself while he is gone
and how many bitter tears I shall shed for
I feel alone when he is gone and sometimes
when he is here.

19.  In the morning my husband has gone he is a
Christian and God will take care of him and
if we love Him as we ought all will be for the
best.

25.  I got two letters from my husband how good he is
to write to me.  Miss Zulicka spent the evening with
me and Major is just returning after going home
with her we spent a pleasant evening.  Good night.
July 3.  Got no letter from my husband last evening I
have not felt so well since [XXXX]  We
have much to be thankful for. We have
rain this morning for which every one is thankful
Charlien is learning to make hair [XXXX] [XXXX]
My boarders now from the train and I live
economical as possible. There is an [XXXX] [XXXX]
feeling of holiness about me [XXXX] [XXXX]
How sweet it is to be loved I had rather have


[Page 260]


1879
my body starved than my heart  what would life be
to me without love and although I never had many
to love me There has always been some one to love
me very much for love begets love Miss Zulicka is
a dear good girl and she reminds me of Annie my
lively and loving Sister and then there are others who
love me and are [worthy] of my love

July 6.  I have been reading some pages in the first
of this book and what a life I have lived loved
and endured enjoyed and survived.  I am in
a pleasant frame of mind today.  What a queer
compound some one is but with all his peculiarites
I like him and believe him worthy of my confidence
I have had a dream?  What a dream!  I ask for
a solution [XXXX] [XXXX] but it is true and is a
fact written in God's book of remembrance.  What
is the reason that such a desire was mine.  The
[XXXX] [XXXX] The critic the one who presumed is
[XXXX] others.  Mr. Nation is far far from this
wife and children at [XXXX] I expect today and
all well  I have been more than usually happy
[XXX] [XXXX] it is a wonder too but I have been
[XXXX] of joy [XXX] [XXXX] own Miss Zulicka last
[XXXX] [XXXX] her characteristic notes
[XXXX] [XXXX] and major will [XXXX] wonder if he
[XXXX] [XXXX] be no doubt about  the other side
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] woman is a future to any
man  Oh major have such [XXXX] in live you and
but you will never make a wife happy your
words & [tenses] are beyond comprehension
Truly Hews came last night and wanted me
to take her but I cannot take her  my
family now but [how] fearful it is to
forbid her  a home.


[Page 261]


1879
July 13.  This is Saturday and, it is late Mrs Foster sat with
us this evening [XXXX] [XXXX] in fooling me.  I did not
 get a letter from my husband last evening and
was so badly disappointed.  Good night.

July 14.  Went to hear Mr Zonner  today preached a lovely
sermon.  Tomorrow I will get a letter I fondly hope
from my own dear husband.  What a long time
it has been since I saw him.

17 Mr Sheapard told me something about our
land and The sales for taxes which I would
not have to be true for any Thing  I got a
good letter from Mr Nation  mother [and]
I also got one from Mr. [XXXX] wanting
to sell my lot.  Mr. Bob [H]enry [XXXX] with
us money.

July 23.  My heart seems almost dead ever & anon  There
is a spasm of emotion which causes my whole
being to feel like a monument of despair and again
a feeling that God is just as willing and able [XXX]
to help me and the words  "Why art thou cast down
oh, my soul and why art Thou disgusted within
me believe in God!"  Oh my husband where are you
on the weary travel like Noah's weary dive for a
place to rest your foot come home to me this is
a poor way to live, I am so much disposed to be
dissatisfied I will try with all my energy to be satisfied
and happy:  God will take care of me for he always does
"But O, when gloomy doubts prevail
I fear to call Thee mine;
The springs of comfort seem to fail
And all my hopes decline.


[Page 262]



July 1879
23 Wednesday
When some voice which was to you
Both sound and sweetness failith suddenly
And silence against which you dare not cry,
[Aches] round you like a string disease and new--
What hope?  What help?  What music will undo?
That silence to your peace?  [XXXX] friendship's sigh
Not reasons sub[XX] [XX] [XXX] melody
Of [XXXX] not of [my] pipes That [Faunus] [blihe]
Not songs of poets not [songs] of Nightingales
Whose [XXXX] hurt upward through the cypress trees
To the clear [XXXX] nor [XXXX] out the spheric laws
Self chanted [XXXX] sweet All hails
Met [XXXX] [XXXX] mine of thee
Speak thou [XXXX] Christ and fill this pause
Mr. Sheaperd had a letter from Dr Stephens the
other day [XXXX] [XXX] B is going to get married
with a party [XXXX] [XXXX].

July 24
An event has happened I have had a dream a
a vision of the night when deep sleep falleth on man
but no sleep was on me, it was an event of darkness
& silence and no  [XXX] of mine will ever bring it
to light so my poor fellow traveler through this vale
of tears.  Your future calls forth a preys of blessings
and good will.  Far be it from any feelings of
mine to cast one cloud across the sky of your
prosperity.  God pity them both and pity us all
I am gloomy, I am homesick, I am almost
alone what may not a year bring forth may it at-
least be ladened with the greatest blessings of this
life to me my husband & my children such as God
gives to his own.  God is true though all else fail.
I have That haunts me is it true?  Alas! tis  true.
It is a great way of mine to read hymns how exprers
nic  They are of my thoughts.


[Page 263]


1879
24  Got a letter from Annie & Ma with their pictures in it.
They want us to come home and how heartily my heart
responds to that desire to come home.

27.  Lordsday - Went to hear Mr Vinner come out of church
with Miss Addie Conklin got a reproof from Major
Burk gave him one in return.  I must  quit quarrelling
with him it is not lady like.  Great excitement over
the murder of young Bates expect the darkey are hung
by this time  So glad my dear darling husband
is coming home.  I am going to try to be more
patient with him than ever.

30 - We have ice cream tonight for supper poor Miss Christine
is here.

Aug 15 - Just before starting out to spend the day with Miss
Christine I am going to write some in my diary I am
so well today and several times my soul  yes very
heart of heart has raptously contemplated the good-
ness of God to me and if  I should ever fail to
be greatful to Him for the magnitude of his goodness
to me I certainly would be base indeed" My brother
is away today how my heart bleeds for him some-
times With a jest to his bosom unshrinking ?  he clasped
a wreath of false flowers concealing the asp.  When
my husband comes home I feel that I will
devote my best efforts to God and him  Oh if I
can do any good in this life Let me do some good.
I fear I am too well satisfied with myself God knows.--
how bitter bitter remorse is with me at times I
do nothing good.

Aug 18  Providence seems alway to unite the existence of
peculiar  danger with some circumstance which may
put those exposed to perel upon their guard--and
men come at last to calculate not so much on what their
antagonist says as upon that which he is likely to do [Scobt].


[Page 264]


1879
Nov 13.  Tonight I am sitting up to watch the stars full
at Professor Tice [friends] all are in bed but me.  Sister
Edd is here and has been for a week and she seems to enjoy
it so much.  Mr  [hase]  had a trip to the mouth of the
river.  Major Burk girl boarding with me last Monday.
just got tired.  he has been a blessing to me but
I do not regret his going very much.  It seemed that he
must change Nice old friend  I have managed by the
help of God to keep my family up by keeping this
Hotel and the two Mr. Burks are very pleasant.
Dec-March 5  Tonight I was all gladness and felt so well, But
Mr N told me as he so often has before not to look
to him for any provisions not in words but in
another colder and harsher way.  O to him who
noteth every sparows fall may I be more patient.
More worthy O of all the gifts give me a heart to
live the Lord above all else to obey him first
let come what will.

Major Burke died May 4 on Tuesday
between 12 and 1 at night  


[Page 265]


Lordsday, Sept 5 1880
Long and many are the times which have gone
by since I wrote in this book.  Six months have
gone into the past.--Some  Ay! many are dead
and so many sad Things have happened.  Mrs
Turner & poor Major have died but God has
been so good to me.  

Lords day, Sep 26" 1880
We have had a rainy month and today it is still
raining.  The cotton crop is almost spioled but it is
for some wise purpose for God sends the rain on
The just and The unjust.  Charlien has gone to
the Presbyterian Sunday School and Lola is not well
I have two servants - Malinda & Scharlee or we
call her Lee.

14 Thursday - Mr Nation is in Brayonce tonight
Mr Beaman is very low not expected to live.
Mr Jessie Park came home last night from a
Trip out to San Antone.   Mr Jackson is at Mrs Pam's
sick  Mr. Stubbs the Democratic candidate for the
senate has been with us and is such a nice
gentleman.

21. Thursday.  Mother and I went to church
to prayer meeting tonight and so many said They
enjoyed The service.  Mr Shepard and Mr Denton
made two such good preyers.  I wanted to tell some
one and all That I loved my Savior too, I feel really
happy tonight.  What a pleasant Thing in this world
to know that you command the love & respect of people
of real worth.  Mr Hickey is a boarder of ours and
we all like him.  My dear husband is getting
well and is himself again.


[Page 266]


1880
Oct     Lords day   Oct 24
We are all in the sitting room of the hotel Oscar
Lola Mother Mr Hickey.  Lola looks like [paturice]
on a [minumerd]   Oscar expresses an opinion of seeking
a new girl Miss Zulica is too indifferent for
him.  Mr Hickey let me read an eloquent composition
of his on [kirsivy] which surprised me.  What a future
may be his.   Mother is a picture of health and she is
75 years old.  Charlie [Miristead] has just been
to the gate and gave Oscar several licks with a
whip because of  some dissatifactive between him and
and Miss Zulica .

24.  I went out to Mrs Shufuds yesterday and stayed all
night.  She is so sad over the death her little boy Eddie.
On every hand I see the trouble and weight of care
this life bears to its possessors and if beyond this
vail there is no haven of rest what a fearful thing
what a calamity existence is.  And O, when I look
within my own heart look at my weak  imbecilic
rectitude, why do I [XXXX] one alone of space which
God has made.  But I love Him above everything
else and will cling to his promises though he blot
me out I will trust Him though He slay me
for will He not ease to the uttermost all who
Come to Him.  I wish it was His will That This
day I could fold my hands on this life work
 and sleep under the shade of a tree.  One brigh[t]
glow amid the darkness bears me up It is the
love of my Heavenly Father and the great-heart
of my older Brother who will never forsake
me or turn from me when I cry to Them How
glad I am that they can see my heart as
well as my actions


[Page 267]


Lords day Oct 31st
What can minister to a mind diseased to a soul all
racked with remorse, God is Good and to all such
He is their only refuge.  Today has been a fast- to me.
I went to church this morning to hear Mr Shepard and
then to Sunday School.  I have a class of girls I wish I could
write a letter to God and get an answer.

Nov 24 Wednesday
I have been to Galveston and took my precious
child Charlien to Dr Dowel I stayed with her over a
week untill my money began to give out and then
I left her I have been at home two days and have been
sick most of the time.  Oh; my agony to think of my
dearer Than life, my heart, and earthly treasure, to have
this affliction.  I never had to bear anything so grievous
as This.  There is no consolation and how my darling
will suffer but Bless God for the good friends He has
given her and how firmly she trusts him.  Mother
and Lola kept house while I was gone and
did finely but one thing [Six lines on this page
scribbled over]
always be a friend to him Dr Turner & Beverly
wants to come here to board but I can not consent
for him to come and can not refuse if he should
ask, Mr Nation is at  [Brazoria] but I got a letter from
him today, Tomorrow is Thanksgiving O may I spend
 it right in the praze of Him who has always been
good to me My darling is before me all the time
May angels guard her this night and may her
Savior be ever near in her suffering.


[Page 268]


Tuesday "Columbia Hotel" Feb 1 1881
Feb 1 We are going away - down to Brazoria, to
live going away from This old house hallowed
with its volumes of memory, I am sitting in
This front room once occupied by poor Major my
friend a friend who never failed me.  May
God reward him with the delights of one
of His mansions, going away - will I, can I
leave behind me the pleasures which at This
present time Angers and lives with me.  Yes
I will leave them But there is a future O thank God
[Blank space] of life This is so small a part
[Blank space] is dust to dust beneath the sun
[Blank space] But [XXX] up there 'Tis heart to heart".
Am I a better woman leaving Than coming to
This house I know I am a better but I am
at best but clay eering varying but my heart is
not false the dictates of that supreme [arbiter]
never approved a wrong but has often remon-
strated.  Yes, I am going away a better woman
and a much healthier one.  While I am glad
to go where I will be with my husband my good
husband but I am sad to leave.  The future is
untried and life has been one changing panorama
one picture would be shrouded with the uninviting
hues gloomy and somber while another would flash
upon my mind's eye colored with the radiant
glow of the sunset or the calm shimmering
hollowing refining light of a gorgeous warm
 evening.  Mr Nation Mr Hickey and myself are
sitting around this fire by our selves.  Mr Hickey
has been boarding with us for seven or eight
months and we like him so much and
here he sits talking to us in preference to
going around town and There are few whom I
know that will equal him in powers of
[intutainary]   Mr Goss and and he are pard-
ners and I am so much interested in them.


[Pages 269 through 274 are missing]
[Page 275]    


[On diagram of grave stone at top of  page] : C.E.G. died 1881
Feb 7              Tuesday Night
Here lies the body of Chas.E.G.---
Of life completely shorn
The lazy chap will not get up
Till Gabriel toots his horn
He was a farmer of renown
At home with plow and hoe
But death came through the cotton field
And "nabbed" him in the turning row
Then, Reader, know this solemn fact
That Death will Surely come
With unrelenting force twill strike
The sad, gay, old, and young
Like his may all your actions be
In truth religion schooled
So when the Devil plays his part
He may be squarely fooled
[Sketch of grave and inscribed stone] _________________________________________________________________
Here lies the body of Mike J. H.
This chap has had his day
He "petered" out for want of breath
And could no longer stay.
Tis supposed ere this he's reached
The land to Christians given
And with ten thousand Saints he chants
The melodies of heaven.
________________________________________________________________
Feb 3 We are in our new home in Brazoria  came
down on the [school] The Mermaid owned by H
Speck had a pleasant sail:  I am glad we
are here and Mr Nation seems satisfied also.
I am not well today but I am not sick, I got
dinner and we enjoyed it so much.


[Page 276]


Friday   Brazoria   Feb 1881
Feb 4 Mr Nation and I are sitting by the fire in our new
home.  he is reading a paper and I am reading English
literature, by H A Laine a book Mr Hickey loned me and
tonight I am reading what Mr Laine says of Shakespeare
and it strikes me in the most as being true for instance
He is not shackled by reason or morality, he finds nothing in
man he would care to lop off.  He accepts nature and finds
it beautiful in its entirety - he exhibits man at his meals
in bed - at play - drunk, mad, sick.  He does not dream of
ennobling human nature but of copying human life
only making his copy more energetic and striking than
the original!

Feb 27  It is Sunday and I have been to the burial of
Mrs McNealy, the teacher, she leaves a little
babe and a poor bereaved husband who is
almost a wreck from the use of intoxicating liquor,
while looking at that narrow black house in
which I have seen so many loved one placed
a flood of memories came welling up I saw
them as lost - I looked on them, dead, cold, they
felt -- not the warm tender anguishing pressure
with which I caressed the cheek, the hands the
features which so often were illuminated
with expressions of love and confidence, I
knew that-- was but--the crust, the old house
that they had left could not hold their beautiful
souls but-- I was jealous of the grave for
hiding from me what I had loved so
well.  But I shall see them again more
beautiful Jesus will keep them all for
Himself and me.  I felt today that I
should be unworthy indeed if I did not gain
heaven even though I loose everything
else.  I have so many treasures there
Yes I will pass on and O, that Jesus
will let me put my hand in His


[Page 277]


1881
and guide me, I will try so hard and count
all trials as but nothing if at last I may be
but worthy of Heaven.
March 13 Is the Lords day and no church, Lola &
Miss Laura Henderson went to Columbia today
and have not come home tonight.  Mr Hickey
came down Friday and has been with us.  He
will not return till tomorrow.

" 21 Mrs Shuford Mary Roberts and  [Menstead] came
down Saturday and went home yesterday evening
It was a pleasant visit and it did us all
good.  I am very much pleased with everything.
My good good husband so loving and gentle
and God is so good to me  So good but I do
so little for Him but He knows my heart .
I have such a busy week before me making
up clothes for self & children.  Mother is
failing.

April 25  Conjenial with my feelings with this rainy dark night
I am schooling myself.  I am at a training school and
I am progressing but it seems that something has
dropped out of my life so suddenly that I can not
accustom myself to its absence how changed!
There seems something unreal about every thing respect-
ing the past & future.  I try to recall so many
circumstances when it was so different from
now but they seem so far off-Last Satur-
day we had a [nite] meeting here to raise
funds for Bro Denton raised $22.00 I took
$5 out for my expenses and gave him
seventeen $17.00.  All are in bed but
I can not sleep.  Later well I must go to bed
I have been thinking thinking-leaning   
on this old book where I have come so
often with a burden.  God temper the
mind to the shorn lamb.
[Written vertically in left margin]:
I have read the words "unwomanly"
and "inhuman" till they seem to be me  
but why, Oh! Why, - - - - - - -


[Page 278]


Brazoria, May 27" 1881
Night before last was the time of our fishncil
where I was chief cook & bottle washer and I
was truly in a position where there was
work and responsibility we made fifty dollars
clear but I will never have another conducted
in such style.  [Temple Huctive] hit my husband
on the side of the head today and Mr N
gave him a good knocking.  Mr Chitwood   
is boarding here.

July 10th
We are to move to Richmond next week
Cassius came down from there this week and
my husband is up there but will be down
Friday.

July 30
July. We moved to Richmond on the 28th of this
Month and I am now in my new quarters
This has the appearance of quite a city.  I have
not been out much and have no desire to
go out.  I am going to try to withdraw my
self from the outside as much as possible.
I have no bright anticipations on moving
to this town!  I don't know what is in
store for me up here, life is so checkered
but God is so kind to me.

Sep 13  We have been here almost two months I
I like this place for many favorable features.  One
is it freedom from stiff formality and then all
seems to like me so I ought to forbear crictisism [criticism]
but should I be induced to do so, I might
find a variety of prominent and glairing problems
as inviting censure.  The ladies use a profusion
of [XXXX], frizzes, bangs, stile and adjustment of
[XXXX] below par very little of classic taste
or anything much and many provisions for
[Next page available is Journal Page 283]


[Page 283]


the material and transient life forgetting the
"better part" which the [sister of Lazzen] may choose.  But taking a
[broad ] survey a general proposition and
and are justifiable would be - rather favor-
iable to this people.  They are social most
of them very conversant with the wiles of
polite society very pleasant callers & my
neighbors are excellent --  Mother has just
finished reading to me King Henry VIII & his
court by Miss Meulbock many facts
and much fiction.  I admired the character
of Catherine Parr his sixth wife-- she was
worthier of a better end than to die of
a broken heart caused by the man
whome she had risked her reputation
and life to love and bless.  I speak
of the Earl Sudley Thomas Seymore his
man hood was a pitiful Dwarf and his
pride a monster, arrogant; and poisonous
to all his noble impulses.  Henry Howard
would have been a husband worthy of thy love.
But alas!  love will not do our bidding.  The
object of our love is often the one from
which we would tear our heart and He
of which we would give much to love is
the object of almost loathing, Ah love.
Those hateful beautiful sweet bitter heart
aches - balm of life thou messenger from
the courts of bliss how sad or happy how
gloomy or bright you make life to we
of clay.
Now love I want you to stay with me;
And if my love you will keep from harm
Your greatest admirer I will always be.
I can not tax my sullen art longer
it surprises me that I make ever a ryme [rhyme]
while I am writing I  [torn off page]  all I


[Page 284]



1881
know - I have a class of ladies in Sunday
school and am really delighted.  I do want
to do some good for my blessed Master.
He has done and is doing so much for
me and mine.  I have such a thirst to
learn.  I want those I love to be proud of
me.  I am writing while all are in bed.
I retired once but got up was so restless.
I think so much, think, think, over and
over, sometimes I think till I think I am
dreaming.  Mr. Nation seems to be doing so well
with the prospect of doing better.  Charlien and
Lola are going to school and are learning
fast.  I intend to devote the best part of my
 life after giving God all I can to raising
my child, strange I never had but one.
It rains and is so dark I never see
a black night that I do not admire it.

Sep 20  I took a walk down by the river where I
went in quest of some place where I could be
all alone where no eye but God's could see me
and where I could behold his creative without
the critical eye of his creatures --  "and Eureka" --.
It is a wide, worn, gully where the water
in a rain rushes down into the Brazas.
There are great rocks, many curious places worn
in their flinty surface by the water of centuries
may be.  How welcome it was to me - its hither-
to forsaken depth will at least have one
visitor.  I christened a little nole Mt. Zion
and such it was to me, for I knelt by
its  grassy sides and made the supplication
to my Father to grant my supreme wish
Good Night - Miss Minnie Andrews has a
little social party invited me but I stayed
at home [Word  torn out]  taught my baby and now she
is [Word torn out]  where I soon shall be.


[Page 285]


Christmas 1881
Dec 25  This Christmas Lords day!  It is night all are
in bed.  Oscar made his first visit up to Richmond is here
now came Thursday.  Mr Hickey was married that
morning which was 22 of Dec.  I was somewhat surpris-
ed to hear it but I fondly wish it may be the opening of
a better brighter happier life to him.  I want to send him
a congratulation for he has been a true friend to me.
I remember so well one night I told him of the distress
I was in because I had no money to send Charlien to
Galveston and he sympathized so with me that he sat
up all night in the dining room at the Columbia Hotel
for Mr. Nation slept in the next room and knew it and
in many instances he had proven himself true, God bless
him.  Bro Todd our minister is certainly a very fine
preacher.  I lead the quire now, Miss Minnie Andrus plays
the organ.  Oscar has been very pleasant this trip.  I hope
he begins to appreciate my real desire for his good all
the time.  Mr Nation has been to Galveston for three weeks on
the jury.  We think of moving to the Mayblum house.
I am indifferent about going.  I like to read and
teach my Charlien.  The schools are so poor here.  The new
year what it may have in its unfolded pages Can there
be a pang which the past has not made me strong enough
I think not the worst has come and gone God has given
me courage to praise him in the sixth trouble, Yea in
the seventh.  I know my heart does not deceive me I
 firmly believe I am a Christian, I do love my Savior
better than all things.  I love him more and more, I
know that my redeemer liveth and I fully desire and
pray that I may consecrate all to Him my heart my acts
my life.


[Page 286]


Wednesday 25 Have been keeping the National Hotel nearly
four weeks, am succeeding very well exceedingly have things
very nice I have been doing my own cooking but can not  much
longer  Charlien is going to [Gen Maleire]

July 24 I am at the National am making a good living.
Mr Nation is not able to help in his business but very
little but he goes to the trains and brings me most
of my custom[ers].  I have a good cook now.  Frances [Fannie]
Brooks and with Mary I get along well.  Charlie has been
in San Antonio about  two months but it is all over and
she is coming home.  I am President of the Church
Aid and this evening it is to be at Judge Burkheart's
residence we expect a very fine time.  Last Monday it
was here and we had a very enjoyable affair.
This busy active life is agreeable to me and it
enables me to meet the demands of my family and
procure those things which may be of advantage when
our income would not allow me to purchase.  Nellie
Lawdy is here with us now visiting Mrs Masin and I.
I am looking for Charlien all the time am going to
the train this  [morning]  to meet her.  Mrs Davis is here
from New Orleans wants to get up a school and
I think it a fine opportunity for the people of Richmond
to get up a school.  Mr. [Meeks] is a highly refined
gentleman who comes in and stays with
us he is a partner of Mr Davis and is
exceedingly attractive in many ways.  How
attractive a refined intellectual mind is  "Intellect is
power" I am looking around for some good book
to read.  What shall it be?


[Page 287]


Aug 27 [XXX]     18
[XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX] sold to
Mr. Mitchell we give poor [XXXX]
where my [XXXX] [XXXX] five servants [Mary] an
irish girl Maria an German Fannie a negress [XXXX]
and the cook [XXXX] [XXXX] That is all my work days  I have
Pa came down to see me about five [XXXX] [XXXX]
since that just [XXXX] three [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
This [XXXX] [so much] and [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
so much Charlien will [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
and stayed [XXXX] [XXXX]
very much improved by [XXXX]
much [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
girl minds me very [XXXX] [XXXX]
gotten a great many [XXXX]
hotel which will [XXXX] [XXXX]
bought me a cone also [XXXX] [XXXX] [XXXX]
living. This is Sunday [XXXX] [XXXX]
Mr Ford an [ana] with [XXXX][XXXX]
preached for us.

Dec 20  The ------ troup Players  The bankers daughter tonight
but I am sick cannot go  There is eighteen of them  
they are stopping with me.  They are known as the
[Richurdsons] & [Lumbit] combination. Mr. hase been
in the Smicker house about six weeks like
it much better than at the Mayblum property.
Times with me are about as usual an active
carefull life we are doing well making some
money  I am getting some very nice furniture
but laying up no cash.


[Page 288]


Sunday night Aug 5 1883
It has been a long long time since I wrote to you
my dear old friend repositer of joy & sorrow.  I am still
where you left me in the Smicker building which we ex-
pect to purchase.  This autumn have done well since we
have been here [is] [rather]I [for] dear husband was [XXXX]
The paper and there he is now custom house collector at
 the mouth of the river.  Charlie spent this far the summer
north but I am looking for her home next week.  Lola
is visiting Miss Lizzie [Jimmure] and no one here but Mother
and myself Mamie, Rachel and Charity are my servants.
I expect to begin to build next month a hotel on this corner.
I have grown fleshy and am perhaps happier than
ever in my life.  I thank my blessed Master for all
my blessings.  Good Night.

Dec 13  I am just up out -[after] a spell of
Dangue and feel so weak.  I have
a house full of drummers to-night.
[Ink from previous page soaked through
making remainder of page -six  lines--
illegible]


[Page 289]


1885 Feb 11"
Over a year since I wrote the last in
This book just after doing so I had a severe
relapse which lasted three weeks into the new
year.  Now Thanks to Him who rules all Things
I am well weigh 156 and all is well.
My ever loved father is gone died in
1883 Dec 24 I am expecting to meet him
when the messenger calls for me.
[Remainder of page blank or illegible]


[Page 290]


This is a beautiful bloom on thy cheek
Their, a beautiful bloom on  [XXX]  my cheek
Medicine Lodge  Kans
Feb 28, 1900
It has been just 3 years since I made
the last entry.  I left Texas 1888 lived in
Medicine Lodge several years Then went to the
Cheyenne County took a claim after living there three
years  Sold out and moved back to Medicine [Lodge]
in Oct 17  1889  and I believe we are now settled for
 life. Carrie Moore [XXXX] daughter has been with
us since Nov. 1898 she is now 13 years old Charlien
has [had] six children two of which are not-for God took
them  Saved little [Mary Elizabeth and a precious little
boy 6 days old  Oh [XXX] [XXXX] have them with me through
the happy eternity  Lola has three boys and one girl
and Charlien has three girls and one boy.  I will try
and write oftener in my diary  I have been studying
Osteopathy and practice some am treating Little
Bessie [Stuaret] and the [XXXX ] Stevens Next week
I go [to] Shurin Hasletin] and Kiowa to organize
As I am Co. President of Barber of the W.C.T.U.


[Page 291]
[Illegible Blank Page]


[Page 292]
[Illegible Blank Page]


[Page 293]
[Illegible Blank Page]


[Page 294]


My Girl
My Girl My Girl I'm goin for to see
Cause Iv' got nothing better for to do
I'm go'in to stop a little while
To drive away the blues
Chorus
She can Dance and Sing
She can cut the Pigeon Wing
She can hoe the cotton and the corn
She can wash and cook and nurse the baby too
And dance til the breaking of Morn.
By R.E.  [Comf]
Columbia

Nov 21st 1879
To Some Mininest
The kiss dear maid thy life has left
Shall near part from mine
Til happier hours restore the gift
Untainted back to thine. .
By R.E. C


[Page 295]
[Blank Page]


[Page 296]
[Blank Page]


[Page 297
[Blank Page]


[Page 298]
[Blank Page]


[Page 299]
[Blank Page]


[Page 300]


My lone rock by the sea
1. O tell me not the woods are fair
Now Spring is on her lea
Well well I know how brightly [thear]
Enjoys the young leaves play
How sweet our winds of morn or Eve
The violets breath may be
Yet ask yet woe me not to leave
My love rock by the sea   
2.  The wild waves thunder on the shore
The forlorn restless cry                                                                                                   
Unto to my beating heart or more  
Than all life melodies
Come back my Ocean rover come
Thier is but one place for me
Till I can greet thy shift sail love
My love roke roc by the sea.
Writing by
Charlien Gloyd
when 6

[Page 301]


The lone rock by the sea.
[Remainder of page blank or illegible]


[Page 302]


1879
July 30"
Columbia            Bonnie Jean
1. Oh,  The summer morn is brightly glowing
And the wild birds wake their song
And the streamlet as it softly murmurs
So gently glides along
Where the wild hedge rose is blowing
In the woodlands green
There I love to wonder with my hearts true Queen
My bonnie bonnie Jean
2.  But it is  not the rosy tint of summer
Nor the song bird joyous [lay]
Nor the streamlets soft and gentle murmur
That makes my heart feel gay
It is the smiles that beams upon me
In each mortal scene
As I fondly wonder with my hearts true Queen
3.  Bonnie [Jean] thy smiles are ever near me
When absent live from thee
Making joy and sunshine in my path way
Wherever I may be
May they ever beam upon me
In this [mutul] scene
As I fondly wonder with my hearts true Queen
My Bonnie Bonnie Jean.


[Page 303]
[Illegible or Blank Page]


[Page 304]


Jann 24      Mother's  Advise        1.74
Charlien you are all I have now to live
[I] think most of your interest and it is my
[XXXX] desire and prayer and pray that you will
grow to be wise [discreet] gentle amiable and
[forgiving]  There is one thing which I do so much
hope you will cultivate that is kindness to all
and be cheerful and amiable.  Do not speak
harshly or look cross never allow a frown to
come to your brow if you can help it.
Feb 1 There is one book which I consider to be valuable
above all others which I have read on the subject
of propriety and general cultivating of the mind,
I have one of  your Father's book[s] which he
studied (and was a perfect gentle man) and I think
he was guided in many things by "Watts on the Mind"
which is the name of the book I refer to.

March 1
Charlien I find the beautiful and comprehensive
advise in your father's note book they embrace
all that will make life a success and make
you beautiful in mind.
B patient, B prayerful, B humble, B mild
B wise as a Salon, B meek as a child
B studious, B thoughtful, B loving, B kind
B sure you make matter subservient to mind
B cautious B prudent B truthful B true
B courteous to all men B friendly to few
B temperate in argument pleasure and wine
B careful of  conduct of money of time
B cheerful B grateful B hopeful B firm
B cheerful benevolent,  willing to learn
B courteous B gentle B liberal B just
B  ashuring B humble because throughout
B [XXXX] circumspect, sound in the faith, pinetant
B active, devoted, B faithful till death
B [XXXX] B holy transparent and pure
B dependant, B Christ like and you'll be secure
[Written vertically in left margin] :
From the Repositary  April 22, 1865
This was when your Father noted these
 [rules] or rather copied them.


[Page 305]


June 7 1874
Charlien when I think of giving you advise
I always wish my heart could speak the
language would be so fervent and intense
that you would but heed.
[Remainder of page blank]


[Page 306]


Grandpa Specticles
O Mama What Will grandpa do
He has gone away to heaven
With out his silver specticles
That Uncle John has givin
And When he takes the bible down
And Wipes the dusty lid
He will never find his spectacles
With in its cover hid

Grandpa Spectacles  
O Mama what will grandpa do
He gone away to heaven
With out his silver spectacles
That Uncle John has given
How can he read the papers there
Oar find his hickory Staff
He put his coat on wrong side out
And make the people laugh.
And when he takes the bible down
And Wipes the dusty lid
He will never find his spectacles
With in its cover hid
There wont be any little girl,
He likes so well as me
To run and hunt them up for him
And put them on his knee.
O dear he never find the place
About the Wicket flee and how
The bears


[Page 307]
[Illegible or Blank Page]


[Page 308]


Sweet Memories of Thee
[When the sweet, bright stars through the pure]
[Above line crossed out]
When bright stars are  [peling]
Through the pure azure sky
And the Southern gale is sweeping
There warm breathings by
Like sweet Music peeling far [o'er] the blue sea
There comes to me stealing Sweet Memories of thee

The bright rose when fading
Flings fourth on its tomb
Its velvet leaves ladened
With silent perfume
Thus around us will hover
In grief or in glee
Until lifes dream's over
Sweet memories
Sweet memories of thee.


[Page 309]
[Illegible or Blank Page]


[Page 310


Grandpa Spectacles
O Mama what will grandpa do
He has gone away to heaven
Without his Silver spectacles
That Uncle John has given
How can he read the papars there
Or find his hickory Staff
He will put his coat on Wrong side out
And make the people laugh

And when he takes the bible down
And wipes the dusty lid
He will never find his spectacles
With in its cover hid
There won't be any little girl
He likes so well as me
To run and hunt them up for him
And put them on his knee.

O dear he Will never find the place
About the Wicked flee
And how the bears eat children up
That Used to frighten me
So Mama if you Will dress me up
Just like a angle bright
I Will fix a lader against the sky
And take them up to night.
Transcribed
By  [Charlien]
When she was 11 years Old.


[Page 3ll]
[Blank page covered by Calendar page -January 29, 1940]


[Page 312]
[Illegible Page]


[Page 313]


June 19  My love rock by the Sea      1878
Wednesday,
O tell me not the woods are far
Mow [shaing] is on her lea
Well well I know how brightly I  [XXX]
Enjoys the leves to play.
How sweet on winds on morn or on eve
The violets breath may be
Yet ask me woo me not to leave my love roke by the sea

The wild waves thunder on the shore
The curlew's restless cry
Unto my watching heart or more
Than all life's melodies
Come back my ocean rover come
Ther is but one place for me
Till I can greet thy swift sail home
My love roke by the sea.
Transcribed by
Charlien A
Nation to [XXXX]


[Page 314]


Katie's Secret                  Oct 15, 1877
The sunlight is beautiful Mother
And sweetly the flowers bloom today
And the birds in the branches of hawthorn
Are caroling ever so gay
So down by the rock in the meadow
The rill ripples with a song
And Mother I too have been singing
The merriest all the day long!!

Last night I was weeping dear Mother
Last night I was weeping alone
This world looked so dark and dreary
My heart was heavy as stone
I thought of the lonely and [toilers]
All lonely and liveless was I
I scarcely knew why it was Mother
But I was wishing to die!!

Last night I was weeping dear Mother
When Willie came down by the gate
He whispered Come out in the moonlight
I have something to tell to the Kate
O, Mother to him I am dearer
Than all in this wide world beside
For he told me so out in the moonlight
He called his darling his bride!!

So now I will gather the roses
And twine in my long braided hair
And Willie will come in the evening
And smile when he sees me so gay
So out in the moonlight-- we will wander
Way down to the old hawthorn tree
!!And Mother I wonder if any
Were ever so happy as wee!!.


[Page 315]


Any love     [Remainder of page blank]


[Page 316]


1877            Lillie's Grave                         copied  Oct.  13, 1877
1st Tis midnight gliding in her deep dark wings
And the wind o'er my gentle Lillie sighs
And my poor heart trembles like the banjo string
That I'm tuning near the hillock where she lies
Chorus

2nd [Week] Zephar weep in the midnight deep
Where the cypress and the vine sadly wave
I have taken down my banjo fo I could not sleep
And I am singing by my little Lillie's grave.

2 When they tore my Jennie from her sweet, sweet child
And her heart was withering with mine
In my arms I bore thee to this island wild
Lest the fate of thy mother should be thine.

3rd How sweet have the seasons glided by since then
How happy each moment of the year
Save a sigh that the loved one might come back again.
We have known not a sorrow or a tear

4 But the swamp fever lighted on her dark brown cheek
And I knew death was knocking at the door
How my full soul trembled with its bursting grief
When I saw that my Lillie was no more.

5 Now the wild cat is wailing and the night hawk screams
And the copperhead is hissing in the glen
They shall come not hither to disturb thy dreams
For [I'le] watch where thy sleeping dust is laid
Carrie Native

6 Sleep Lillie sleep in the midnight sleep
Where the cypress and the vines sadly wave
Let my fingers keep tunning  and my fond heart weep
Till I die by my little Lillie's grave.  


[Page 317]
[Blank Page]


[Page 318]


kitty Wells
You ask What maks dis darky weep
While he like others are not gay
What makes de tears roll down his cheek
From early morn till dawn close of day
Now  darkies my story you must here
For in my memory fresh it dwells
It will cause you all to shed a tear
On de grave of my sweet kitty Wells
Chorus
While de birds were singing in de morning
While de myrtle and de ivy were in bloom
And de sun on de hills were a dawning
It was den we laid her in the tomb
3rd  O ne'er shall I forget the day,
When we together roamed the dells
I kissed her cheek and named the day
When I should marry kitty Wells.
But death came in my cabin door
And took from me my joy and pride
And when I saw she was no more
I laid my banjo down and cried
Chours
I sometime Wish that I were dead
And laid beside her in the tomb
For the sorrow that bows down my head
Is silent as the mid night gloom.
The spring time has no charm for me.
The flowers are blooming in the dell.
But that bright form I do not see.
Tis the form of my sweet kitty Wells.
Chorus
Copied by Lolo M. Nation
Aged 11 years


[Page 319]
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[page 320]
[Journal page unnumbered]


[Map]


Southern Methodist Publishing House Nashville, Tenn.

Map of Palestine after the conquest as divided among the twelve tribes.

Supplement to the S. S. Magazine


[map reverse]
[Blank Page]


[unnumbered e]
[Drawing]


[inside back cover]
[Blank Page]

Item Description

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